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1416436 tn?1300317239

It's hard

Hi, I just joined this site and I decided to join this group because for the last 11 weeks I've been suffering from anxiety which is basically chronic fear. It feels like I've been given a life sentence of torture. I have had many thoughts of suicide and it scares me because before May 31st(which is when I started to feel like this) I didn't think about wanting to die but about achieving my goals living a beautiful/enjoyable/healthy/long life. I do have hope that my life will get better at some point, but I'm not going to lie it's not much hope and it sometimes fades away. I just wanted to say to say hello to everyone here, I want to say I hope for everyone here to have a great life and better days ahead and as for my question: I wanted to ask how long have you been fighting suicidal feelings?

It's been 11 weeks for me and it's hard but if I know that there's people out there that have done it for much longer I'll have more hope =]
7 Responses
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Avatar universal
I know exactly how you feel, I really do.
For the past several months I have felt so terrible that it seemed the only way to stop it, would be to just end myself.
But, I can't do that.
I love my family too much and I know that there would be more pain caused than it's probly worth.
Also, my problems stem from a medication crisis, but that's a whole other story.
Anyways, I know what you mean by feeling content with life and then suddenly, the rug is pulled from under you.
It scared the hell out of me and it still does right now.
I thought I was being punished by God above for some unknown crime.
But the problem is anxiety, and you have to find the source of it and stop it.
That's easy for me to say though, since I have panic attacks that come from nowhere and then I have to take meds to make it stop.
Just don't think of suicide as an option, because it isn't.
Keep telling yourself that you will get through this and that someday you will be able to look back on these times and maybe say to yourself, what was I thinking?
Just keep talking about whatever problems, vocalize and visualize and then tackle it.
Don't let these feelings rule your life, you have to try and assume the best rather than the worst.
Remember, you can be your own worst enemy.
I know it's easy to sit here and type these words, and you can read them, they are just words.
Then you must take action, maybe set some goals for yourself or maybe go out and do something you haven't done in a long time?
Hope for the best, and be thankful for the good things in life, no matter how small.
Helpful - 0
1533360 tn?1292466616
Gandolfication put that beautifully.
I've been having suicidal thoughts for 2 years, and I've acted on them 3 times since february. My depression started getting worse in february and well things went even more down hill from there. Every night I would go to bed hoping I wouldn't wake up the next morning.
I also have anxiety. I've had it for as long as I can remember but I never knew that the symptoms I was feeling were anxiety symptoms until october of this year.
Pills really help. As much as i'd want to fight this depression and anxiety on my own, I know that I can't do it alone and my psychiatrist and psychologist can only do so much. So medication for it definitely helps. I've just started taking them so I still have a hard time coping, but I'm trying to hang in there. And if you need to talk, I'm also willing to listen/read I mean haha
Helpful - 0
1514613 tn?1385092718
I've been experiencing suicidal thoughts and feelings for 2-3 years.  I've treated on medications with ambiguous results - but I believe if medication helps, take it.  It is worth it.  Talk to your doctor, but generally, these medications take time to work, so the idea is that they prevent you from getting to the extremely low point where you'd be tempted to harm yourself.

I just joined this site and am finding some encouragement.

I am a lawyer who has worked very hard and done well.  Life used to be easy.  Than it all fell apart for me emotionally and psychologically and professionally.  I couldn't cope.  Depression and anxiety overwhelmed me and I couldn't function.  I ended up checking myself into a hospital because I wanted so badly to end the pain and misery I felt in life.

I still struggle almost every day with the intense pressure and stress and most of the time pain and fear the life produces.  How often I've thought it would be better to end it cleanly and painlessly.

I'm glad I did that rather than acting on the intense feelings. There are moments in life that remind me--however fleetingly--that there are compelling reasons to live.  People.   Love.  Beauty.  Art.  And most of all for me, the friendship I've found in family and a couple of friends who have struggled with their own difficult experience.  It has made it worth being here.

There is much hope and beauty in life, but the greatest that I have found is the friendship with other people who are hurting or damaged - and to one degree or another, that is all of us.  It is what I live for.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi.  You ask about suicidal thoughts.  For me just over 10 years.  It's been a long time.  Thoughts and urges come and go though.  I experienced then least when I was in decent therapy.  I experience them most when I feel overwhelmed and powerless.

My advice would be to talk to a psychiatrist and access psychotherapy.
If you feel at risk of acting then I would recommend you go to the hospital or call the police or speak to your doctor, etc.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, a psychiatrist will probably offer you medication and it works for alot of people. I don't take medication but i have a fear of it it creates more anxiety for me but my psychiatrist thinks it would help me alot, sometimes that extra help is needed. I hope it goes well for you. Take care
Helpful - 0
1416436 tn?1300317239
Hello, thank you for answering my post. I'm sorry to hear about what you have and what you are going through. I wish I could help not just myself but everyone in the world that has anxiety, depression, PTSD and all/any other psychological problems by getting rid of their disorders from their lives. I'm not on any medication but I went to the ER less than a week ago because of a panic attack and I got generic Xanax pills. I haven't taken any of them because I want to fight it off by myself first without the aid of meds. Only in an emergency will I take them. I don't think meds are bad or useless but I just really badly want to fight the anxiety and fear off by myself, but I'm going to see a psychiatrist for the first time sometime soon and he/she might see it fit to put me on some sort of mediation.

Once again thank you and I hope you fight on as well, I really do. =]
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, i have been suffering suicidal thoughts for 9 months now, i have made three attempts in that time and i have been in a psychiatric hospital as well because of it.
I am glad you have some hope in your life hold onto that it will help you, you can and will feel better. I have had anxiety and panic attacks for 16 years, now more recently i have major depression, ocd and PTSD and personality issues as my therapist puts it. Anyway i am messed up and trying to pretend to be normal.
Do you take medication for the anxiety? Therapy can be really effective as well. I wish you all the best with this and don't give up, you have hope, keep fighting.
Helpful - 0
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