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Sorry!  Needed to start a new post as it was taking ages for the other one to load.  One of the joys of living in the country and being at the very end of a line.

Have you thought about asking for respite while your T is away?  Would that help to take some pressure off you?
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Avatar universal
Five weeks.  I have a sister and brother there.  My sister doesn't like being left alone and her partner is over seas for 8 weeks.

That's how I feel about my GP although I know my life would probably work better for me if I relocated.  Also what if something happened to my GP, then I would have nothing but regrets.  I don't think we should plan our lives around those of others.  We should be directing our own lives.

I hope the birth goes well and that all will be well.

I'm still feeling tired.  Dad is feeding out today but not sure what he is doing as he is taking ages.  Was trying to do some preparation work in the bathroom (sanding, etc) but stuff has still to be done.
A builder said he would call and come out this weekend to give us a quote for our deck.  We have about 3 weeks to get the house signed off.
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Avatar universal
I think it is amazing you can travel i am argraphobic and ten minutes from here is pushing my comfort zone, we don't go on holiday sometimes maybe once a year i push it and go to the beach, i panic even standing in a shop but i think its great you can go. How long are you going for?
It will be nice for you to get a break hopefully it will help you. Have you family there?
I understand the bit about being away from your GP my daughter is moving away next year to go to uni and its a seaside town its beautiful i wanted to go to uni there but i wouldn't want to leave my therapist or social worker they are my only support.
Maybe by next year i will feel better i would love to go to uni as well i got a place about 7years ago but my eldest got into a grammer school here and i really wanted to send her there and now my son starts there in September.
My social worker called today but i am frustrated with her so i didn't talk for long, she is good but i'm angry all the time and i don't want to offend her so i'm better not talking.
She said she needs to talk to my therapist on Monday to tell him about respite next week i am anxious about that as well but i guess its time away for me i miss my children though.
You are very good to think of the animals many people wouldn't.
I think they are going to put me on the waiting list it takes a while, something needs to happen to much waiting about.
She usually is good at calling and she is busy so i can't really say anything.
I am anxious too about my daughter her baby is due in 4 weeks i am too young to be a granny lol as long as it goes ok. Then we she goes to school the baby is my responsibilty and i want her to get out as much as possible, i didn't when she was born i had no support and i was really depressed for a long time. I want her to still enjoy life as much as she can. She wants me at the birth but i'm not sure i could cope.
How was your day? I hope you are well. Take care
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Avatar universal
Is far from here too.
My GP sometimes says he'll ring and let me know what happens with x, y, z.  Most of the time he doesn't.  He did this week though which surprised me (or rather he called but he didn't say he was going to call.  I was even going to mention it to him as I find it worse than if he just said nothing.).
Maybe they could place you on the waiting list while you are still working with your T?

I'm feeling a little anxious.  I have only traveled overseas to another country once before and then only for 10 days.  I am feeling anxious about flying and being away from home.  I don't like being too far away and for too long.
No, I'm not looking forward to the flight, or all the hassle or hustle and bustle and 4 minute showers (due to water restrictions) and not being allowed to flush the loo (again due to water restrictions).  Or the poisonous snakes hanging out in the long grass, or the foxes, or being away from my GP.

I'm really tired at the moment and at times feel very close to panic.  I think that if I can just get through each moment at a time then I'll be OK.  If I focus on everything at once it starts to feel overwhelming.
When I get back I'll probably be excited and say I did this and that and yae.  I think I probably need this break.  Things have gone backwards so much in the past few years.  Maybe this will help motivate me to get things back on track.
Financially this will be a disaster  for me.  I was hoping to not spend any money over the next eight weeks and pay off the silage which I said I would pay for (because mum won't even though the animals are skeletal and hungry).

I hope you have a great day too.  Can't wait to go to bed.  I'm stuffed/ shattered.
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Avatar universal
I hope you have a really good time when you are there i would love to visit there but its so far from here.
I won't be leaving him for a while two or three months at least the psychiatrist thinks its not a good time to leave him he said i need the consistency and i have stuff to bring to closure with him as well. I think there is also a waiting list for the other team as well. My social worker was meant to call and she didn't, i wish she wouldn't do that, i know she is busy but she should just say maybe i will call not say that she will call and then not.
I think my therapist has to stay with me as well as part of the protection plan with the police he is my keyworker and the police have to go to him before me.
It late here 1.30am i should be in bed.
Are you looking forward to your trip?
I hope you have a good day. Take care
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Avatar universal
About a week and a half.

I'm feeling absolutely shattered.  Must be from some of the work I've been doing coupled with some late nights.  The plumber finally came yesterday and the plasterer today.
Looks like painting is next on the agenda.  It would be good to do some to help take the pressure off my parents while I am away.

Sharing with your T sounds good but why now when you are to get a new T?
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Avatar universal
Australia that would be lovely, when do you go?
I kind of got it sorted yesterday my social worker called back, and we talked she was supposed to call today but she hasn't but i know she was to be out all day so i understand that.
I was with my gp today i asked her was it possible that my medication was making me feel worse and she said no that in my notes i have chronic anxiety and depression and she said with everything that has happened no wonder i am depressed, she said i have lived with anxiety so long i think its normal but its not, we talked about medication but i told her no i am too afraid she said i seem to have a phobia about medication so she has told me to think about it.
I like talking to her she listens and takes the time to listen.
No word from the police yet but my therapist isn't back until Monday so i think they are waiting on him, i'm in no hurry though.
How was your day?
I am going to make more effort with my therapist and try to give myself a bit more maybe it will work better if i'm not so afraid of getting hurt.
I hope you have a good day. Take care
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