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Avatar universal

To Shaz

I hope respite went well.  I thought I better type out that stuff I promised I would before I forgot again.

1.  Acknowledge a feeling
2.  Identify the feeling
3.  What's the feeling about.
     Child self                                             Adult self
     Reacts (I need) -past  (Intense)              Responds (I want/ would like) -now (calm)
     What, when, where, who, how
     I feel
4.  Validate the feeling (permission)
     It's OK to feel x, y, z
5.  Practical intervention
6.  Integration
7.  Growth
33 Responses
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Avatar universal
I am going to respite this evening as i woke up feeling depressed and i think its partly because i feel i let myself down because i didn't go so i rang them this morning and told them i will come in about 7pm. I rang last night and they were really nice about it but i am feeling stressed today so it would do no harm to go. I have my therapist on Tuesday and my social worker will be in touch on Monday, i think its better when she takes me, my partner will drop me of this evening but it will be so hard to say goodbye to them even if it is only for one night.
Its good you have the support on here and from the doctor, will you get a therapist again?
I think its more i have too much time to think when i am away from home and then i panic i would want to be able to think and allow my mind to process things without panicking but it doesn't work like that i panic at everything.
I went to town today and done some shopping but i was very anxious but i still went so i suppose thats something.
I need to go and try and sort out stuff for going. I hope you have a good day.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh!  I think maybe your social worker gave you a sense of security and confidence.
Maybe the police stuff isn't helping either.
I would strongly encourage you to go tomorrow though.  Would having your partner drop you off help?
Loneliness is a subject which has come up recently on the emotional eating expert forum.  Is it really lonely or just too much time to think?  To feel unfulfilled, etc.  ??
No, your mind does need time to think and to process things.  That is why I like writing here because it helps me process my own stuff (which I have to do because I have no T to help with insights, etc).
If you want to read how messed up and out of control I am you can read some of my posts on the emotional eating forum.  It's pretty ugly.  I feel I have a good rapport with the doctor and while he is only ever able to answer the initial question I feel he keeps up to date with all the additional comments.  He gives good advice.
If you ever want to ask about emotional eating or mental health he is the one to ask.  He doesn't seem to force meds either which means I respect him even more.

When are your appointments next week?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I never went to respite i was so anxious it was easier when the social worker takes me, now i am anxious and panicky i know its because i didn't go, i rang them though and explained i was too anxious, i have to call back in the morning to let them know how i am because i am supposed to be there they still need to know how i am and if i will stay tomorrow night, if i go tomorrow night i might not feel so bad for missing tonight. I feel so lonely there, i know maybe it helps but not today.
Yeah it is school holidays they go back on Monday though.
It was nice today but still cool too.
I think i am feeling a bit better because i have calmed things down with my partner i hope it stays that way, i still feel the tension underneath i wish it would go away.
I hope by not going to respite that i am setting myself back again, anyway i suppose tomorrow is another day and i will call them in the morning maybe they will talk me into going tomorrow night, its the boredom there my mind does not need time to think my mind needs to be going all the time.
Have a good day, enjoy the sun.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Me too.  I had one T who got it though and that felt really good.  You know when you don't have to explain everything and educate the professionals.
My GP is usually very good.  I've just been struggling for such a long time that he becomes an easy target.  He is about the only one, besides my last T, who has supported me.  I've been feeling bad so I guess it just translated into my interactions with him.

If you truly feel well and not in need of the respite then I'm sure it's no bother.  Your social worker will understand.

That drive did sound lovely.  We also live not too far away from a forest park.  Sounds slightly different though.  Ours is more walking trails and mountain bike tracks.  I guess it has no mountain either.  =)  There are some of those not too far from as well.
I kind of live in a lakes district so there are quite a few lakes around.
Is it school holidays there as well?

I'm sure it only gets worse because we get more anxious.

It's quite a nice day today.  The sun's shining even though it is a little cool.

Respite should help you to maintain a sense of stability.  Enjoy it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm sorry it didn't go so well at the doctors i find i get frustrated with doctors too they don't  listen because i have anxiety i feel they don't take me seriously and i leave feeling not listened too, sometimes i feel like that with everyone.
I went for a drive today because the weather was nice we live near a forest park and we are able to drive over the mountain it was lovely i get anxious but i needed to get out, i am going to respite at 8 or 9pm i rang them and told them i wanted to spend the day with my children she said thats fine then i will stay until about 2pm tomorrow and then back tomorrow night i would feel as if i let my social worker down if i didn't go as she went to the bother of getting me the place.
With my ocd its all about things feeling right too if it doesn't feel right its not safe its frustrating as well and when i am away from home it gets worse as well.
I feel the same way about staying in the one place too i get restless which is why respite is hard but i feel i need to do this as i am not prepared to try the medication.
I need to go and pack for respite but i am anxious but anyway i will go.
I hope you have a good day.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It didn't go so well with my doctor.  I was feeling a bit frustrated.  In the end nothing has changed except I am less likely to see my GP as regularly.  He did give me antibiotics, etc for an infected finger.  Fantastic!  Not!
I like doing things.  Going from a to b but I hate spending too long at a destination.  I'm not a smell the roses sort of person.  I find it creates way too much anxiety.
Withdrawing is a good way to protect oneself.  Creating distance can feel helpful.  Not very adaptive though.  I'm probably a bit like that at the moment.  I'm definitely moody and irritable but I then retreat to a quiet place and don't want to communicate.
The last time you went to respite is in the past.  This is a new time and a new opportunity.
My ocd is worse at the moment.  Have become more stressed and more anxious.  I don't have a truck load of things I do just have stupid number or word patterns and need somethings to feel a particular way.  It's all time consuming.
80 minutes is probably the longest I'm willing to admit to taking to do something.  Usually it isn't quite that long but can be repeated heaps throughout the day.

I hope you have a good day and enjoy respite.
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