Aa
To Shaz
I hope respite went well. I thought I better type out that stuff I promised I would before I forgot again.
1. Acknowledge a feeling
2. Identify the feeling
3. What's the feeling about.
Child self Adult self
Reacts (I need) -past (Intense) Responds (I want/ would like) -now (calm)
What, when, where, who, how
I feel
4. Validate the feeling (permission)
It's OK to feel x, y, z
5. Practical intervention
6. Integration
7. Growth
1. Acknowledge a feeling
2. Identify the feeling
3. What's the feeling about.
Child self Adult self
Reacts (I need) -past (Intense) Responds (I want/ would like) -now (calm)
What, when, where, who, how
I feel
4. Validate the feeling (permission)
It's OK to feel x, y, z
5. Practical intervention
6. Integration
7. Growth
Thankyou for that its really interesting. The respite went ok apart from the panic attack i took that night i still find it really hard being away from home i just wanted to come home when i panicked i talked to the staff not something i would normally do and the fact of just talking about it helped, i didn't sleep well either which didn't help. My social worker came on Friday and we talked for a long time she seems to understand me well and she said she can see my defenses dropping a bit, she has booked me in for two nights this week as both her and my therapist are off all week she thought it might help i can come home on Thursday during the day though and go back that evening. The police are also coming to see me this week ,i reported an incident to them last autumn and they are coming to ask more questions and stuff, i found their attitude to the whole incident very unhelpful so much so that my therapist wrote a letter of complaint to them so now even the thought of them makes me nervous, i think because they know i have a therapist they treated me like i was stupid and were very rude to me luckily in the interview a social worker was present because i am classed as a vulnerable adult the social worker backed me up in saying how they treated me was wrong, so that stresses me too.
How have things been with you?
I am still so tired the stress of respite tires me and i am so emotional its unbelieveable, and my partner and i fight all the time, i have tried talking to him but he doesn't listen he treats me like i'm stupid too as for my parents they don't care for me full stop, i get upset that the only people who care for me are strangers my social worker and my therapist. My social worker thought it would be good to have two nights this week as they are of and she knows how stressed things are at home. I really need to relax more at respite this week otherwise it defeats the purpose, the staff are nice and its in a nice setting but i get so scared if i could see it as my home for that time it might help. Thanks for the information, i hope all is well with you.
How have things been with you?
I am still so tired the stress of respite tires me and i am so emotional its unbelieveable, and my partner and i fight all the time, i have tried talking to him but he doesn't listen he treats me like i'm stupid too as for my parents they don't care for me full stop, i get upset that the only people who care for me are strangers my social worker and my therapist. My social worker thought it would be good to have two nights this week as they are of and she knows how stressed things are at home. I really need to relax more at respite this week otherwise it defeats the purpose, the staff are nice and its in a nice setting but i get so scared if i could see it as my home for that time it might help. Thanks for the information, i hope all is well with you.
That's good that you can access respite next week. Also great that you are talking to people. Lowering your defenses may make you feel more vulnerable but if you do it with the right people (T, social worker, etc) it should help.
It can sometimes take a bit to feel settled in a new place. That also can affect sleep.
Going home might help you feel less claustrophobic. You could play it by ear.
Sounds stressful. I hate it when people treat me as being stupid because I have mental health issues. Someone once asked me who was looking after me. Like, hello, I'm an adult. Maybe a sick one in need of support but if the mhs did their job I wouldn't be in this situation.
Be strong. Don't let others make you feel ashamed of yourself or your actions. Stick to the facts. Try not to be too judgmental of others. Just be normal. Try to stay calm. Do lots of deep breathing if necessary. Do you have a support person this time? Maybe you could ask for one to be present if that would help.
Me? Tired, stressed a bit angry and frustrated. I think I'm getting really stressed because the review is taking so long to organize. I would have expected an appointment time long before now (even if the appointment were in two months time). The stress has been triggering stuff from my past especially around the time I was unwell so that has been difficult to deal with. Have been self-medicating with food which isn't helping. Also feel a bit disappointed in myself for sabotaging my efforts. That run that I was planning to do is next weekend. My GP has entered the triathlon part of it. Just frustrated by all my failures. Which I wonder would have taken place if I have had had support.
Being tired can leave us feeling vulnerable. Maybe you need to change the dynamics with your partner. Have you tried to find out where he is coming from? What he is thinking and feeling. What he feels he needs.
You're not stupid. Others do care for you too. A lot of others just lack the ability to show it. I care if that helps.
What about respite scares you? The perceived lack of control? The food? =)
It is only a small part of your recovery. Use it, take advantage of it. It is only one of many stepping stones towards wellness.
Things are OK here. Looking forward to seeing my GP on Wednesday.
It can sometimes take a bit to feel settled in a new place. That also can affect sleep.
Going home might help you feel less claustrophobic. You could play it by ear.
Sounds stressful. I hate it when people treat me as being stupid because I have mental health issues. Someone once asked me who was looking after me. Like, hello, I'm an adult. Maybe a sick one in need of support but if the mhs did their job I wouldn't be in this situation.
Be strong. Don't let others make you feel ashamed of yourself or your actions. Stick to the facts. Try not to be too judgmental of others. Just be normal. Try to stay calm. Do lots of deep breathing if necessary. Do you have a support person this time? Maybe you could ask for one to be present if that would help.
Me? Tired, stressed a bit angry and frustrated. I think I'm getting really stressed because the review is taking so long to organize. I would have expected an appointment time long before now (even if the appointment were in two months time). The stress has been triggering stuff from my past especially around the time I was unwell so that has been difficult to deal with. Have been self-medicating with food which isn't helping. Also feel a bit disappointed in myself for sabotaging my efforts. That run that I was planning to do is next weekend. My GP has entered the triathlon part of it. Just frustrated by all my failures. Which I wonder would have taken place if I have had had support.
Being tired can leave us feeling vulnerable. Maybe you need to change the dynamics with your partner. Have you tried to find out where he is coming from? What he is thinking and feeling. What he feels he needs.
You're not stupid. Others do care for you too. A lot of others just lack the ability to show it. I care if that helps.
What about respite scares you? The perceived lack of control? The food? =)
It is only a small part of your recovery. Use it, take advantage of it. It is only one of many stepping stones towards wellness.
Things are OK here. Looking forward to seeing my GP on Wednesday.
I think respite scares me because i am argraphobic and being away from home with no escape route scares me then i take panic attacks and i hate panicking away from home. I panic more at night because its quiet and i can't get home.
No, i won't have support with the police this time as they are coming to my home so i can show them where it happened incase it goes to court.
I talked to my partner last night and told him how his behaviour was stressing me even more which in turn was stressing him more then, so we both agreed to try harder he said he will try to think before he speaks, i do see it from his point of view and i told him that but i also told him that i really need him to be strong for me and i never ask him for much i try to be as normal as possible. I had a calm day today well when i mean calm i mean not as depressed but very anxious i don't know which is worse depression or anxiety. I suppose in a way i have listened to my therapist because i have taken control of the situation with my partner and talked to him but i feel i still have a long way to go. I also feel like i have failed myself a lot and it makes it worse maybe try to focus on what you do for yourself that is good, i know at times its hard though when we get so angry and down and frustrated.
I hope it goes well at the doctors and try not to feel too bad about the run i know thats easier said than done though.
Hope you had a good day.
No, i won't have support with the police this time as they are coming to my home so i can show them where it happened incase it goes to court.
I talked to my partner last night and told him how his behaviour was stressing me even more which in turn was stressing him more then, so we both agreed to try harder he said he will try to think before he speaks, i do see it from his point of view and i told him that but i also told him that i really need him to be strong for me and i never ask him for much i try to be as normal as possible. I had a calm day today well when i mean calm i mean not as depressed but very anxious i don't know which is worse depression or anxiety. I suppose in a way i have listened to my therapist because i have taken control of the situation with my partner and talked to him but i feel i still have a long way to go. I also feel like i have failed myself a lot and it makes it worse maybe try to focus on what you do for yourself that is good, i know at times its hard though when we get so angry and down and frustrated.
I hope it goes well at the doctors and try not to feel too bad about the run i know thats easier said than done though.
Hope you had a good day.
Elements of depression and anxiety make them equally hard to deal with -I think.
Hopefully clarifying where you're both at will help a little. Keep talking to him about things. I think that may help him understand and also help you understand.
Just baby steps. One thing at a time.
I was looking at a new event I could enter today which is a number of weeks away. They are giving out finishers medals so it sounds perfect.
I've taken out some of my frustration on a member who posted on the mh expert forum.
I was going to apologize then I thought better of it. I've now just posted more ugly stuff.
Crazy.
I think all the stress and lack of support and failures have really triggered me.
Hopefully I can be civil to my doctor. Not sure at this stage. I feel hurt and angry that he left me with no support and contingencies and has let this go on for so long. Took him forever to get the review. Lots of deep breaths right. I haven't been this angry for ages.
Hope you have a great day too.
Hopefully clarifying where you're both at will help a little. Keep talking to him about things. I think that may help him understand and also help you understand.
Just baby steps. One thing at a time.
I was looking at a new event I could enter today which is a number of weeks away. They are giving out finishers medals so it sounds perfect.
I've taken out some of my frustration on a member who posted on the mh expert forum.
I was going to apologize then I thought better of it. I've now just posted more ugly stuff.
Crazy.
I think all the stress and lack of support and failures have really triggered me.
Hopefully I can be civil to my doctor. Not sure at this stage. I feel hurt and angry that he left me with no support and contingencies and has let this go on for so long. Took him forever to get the review. Lots of deep breaths right. I haven't been this angry for ages.
Hope you have a great day too.
I agree a lack of support would really not help, i have limited support but i have some and i have found the more i open up espically to my social worker the more supportive she has become, if my mother was that supportive i would have no need for therapy.
I sense your frustration and i read your other conversation and i agree with you in a lot of ways we both know that being brought up in the same environment doesn't make you the same and parents do make differences whether they know it or not, i feel the way i was brought up has affected me alot as an adult, the last time i hugged my mother i was 10 i never remember hugging my father they blamed me for not hugging them, i was 10 i must have had some reason for the lack of contact and why did they not hug me and my parents have never told me that they loved me.
At least you were honest and open in giving that other person your opinion and you do say alot of really helpful stuff, i don't want to comment too much on it because i feel like i am talking about her behind her back.
I hope your doctor can help you and i know how you feel having to wait so long it makes you feel like no one cares how bad you feel and they don't seem to understand the frustration they cause. Sometimes its ok to be angry though if it helps if you can get it out in the right way, i know i was so angry last week and i wrecked so many things but i got it out anyway and talking with my social worker really helped.
The new event sounds like something positive something to work towards.
I hope you feel less angry soon, enjoy your day.
I sense your frustration and i read your other conversation and i agree with you in a lot of ways we both know that being brought up in the same environment doesn't make you the same and parents do make differences whether they know it or not, i feel the way i was brought up has affected me alot as an adult, the last time i hugged my mother i was 10 i never remember hugging my father they blamed me for not hugging them, i was 10 i must have had some reason for the lack of contact and why did they not hug me and my parents have never told me that they loved me.
At least you were honest and open in giving that other person your opinion and you do say alot of really helpful stuff, i don't want to comment too much on it because i feel like i am talking about her behind her back.
I hope your doctor can help you and i know how you feel having to wait so long it makes you feel like no one cares how bad you feel and they don't seem to understand the frustration they cause. Sometimes its ok to be angry though if it helps if you can get it out in the right way, i know i was so angry last week and i wrecked so many things but i got it out anyway and talking with my social worker really helped.
The new event sounds like something positive something to work towards.
I hope you feel less angry soon, enjoy your day.
I expect that is like some of the relationships I have had with health professionals. If my family were as remotely understanding or as empathetic as them then maybe I wouldn't be in this situation.
I don't like people touching me. My family don't respect me when I ask them not to touch me. Is hard to respect them when they violate my personal boundaries.
Him. I apologized for how I addressed my comments. I felt that they were a bit aggressive.
Me too. I actually went for a run today but I didn't manage very well due to heaps of blisters on my foot. I think I might have to re-evaluate what I'm going to do.
My mum wants to phone my sister now so need to go. Will write again tomorrow.
I don't like people touching me. My family don't respect me when I ask them not to touch me. Is hard to respect them when they violate my personal boundaries.
Him. I apologized for how I addressed my comments. I felt that they were a bit aggressive.
Me too. I actually went for a run today but I didn't manage very well due to heaps of blisters on my foot. I think I might have to re-evaluate what I'm going to do.
My mum wants to phone my sister now so need to go. Will write again tomorrow.
Its good you went for the run, blisters are so sore i can't run i am so unfit and i won't walk anywhere because of the panic attacks, the gym i could manage but because i have been so low lately i haven't had the energy.
I am anxious today i hate it, less depression but so anxious i am hyper i have too be doing something all the time, then when i am depressed i can hardly move, even though i am hyper my body still doesn't have much energy just my mind is going all the time.
I don't like being touched by adults but i love hugging my children so i don't understand i am totally uncomfortable if an adult hugged me or touched me when talking even my arm or hand its weird.
I hate the easter holidays they are long and i hate when it quiet and the children are out of their routine, we are going to visit my partners aunt tomorrow its a long drive it doesn't help my argraphobia but anyway i need to push it and do it.
I hope you had a good day mine was quiet but at least less depression for now anyway.
I am anxious today i hate it, less depression but so anxious i am hyper i have too be doing something all the time, then when i am depressed i can hardly move, even though i am hyper my body still doesn't have much energy just my mind is going all the time.
I don't like being touched by adults but i love hugging my children so i don't understand i am totally uncomfortable if an adult hugged me or touched me when talking even my arm or hand its weird.
I hate the easter holidays they are long and i hate when it quiet and the children are out of their routine, we are going to visit my partners aunt tomorrow its a long drive it doesn't help my argraphobia but anyway i need to push it and do it.
I hope you had a good day mine was quiet but at least less depression for now anyway.
I remember when I was first depressed I would feel absolutely buggered just driving to the gym. Workouts weren't really happening.
I probably wouldn't mind going again (to tone up and get fit) but it is inconvenient (30 minute drive) and I can't afford it. I'm sure it would help my self-confidence, etc though.
I hate it when your mind races like that. There are just way to many thoughts, etc.
Maybe your kids are just so non-threatening. My T said that the touch thing was due to my physical body being equivalent to people's psychological defenses. Does that make sense? Guess my psychological defenses were/ are just way too primitive at times.
My T use to have blankets in her office for patients/ clients. I use to hate that too. Probably not a huge fan of nurturing or trusting another individual to nurture me. It felt too uncomfortable, too unsafe.
Holidays for me can be stressful. Most health professionals are away which can reinforce my losses but also leave me feeling isolated and alone and like I have to cope with everything. It feels a little overwhelming at times. Plus it seems to make the time go by a lot slower.
The highlight of my day at the moment is MacGyver. That's pretty sad but it seems to break the day up for me (it's on at 2 pm). Usually there will be something on TV in the evening. Survivor starts this Thursday night. It all helps just a little. This is why I need therapy so badly. Currently I am using the internet and TV to distract myself and to help me cope. I can't see my GP doing anything tomorrow.
Once you do it you will likely feel a sense of achievement. I have quite bad ocd. When I manage to do something that breaks that behavior even a little I feel a sense of accomplishment.
Less depression more feeling has got to be good, right? I'm not convinced because feeling is painful but it sounds as though it is likely to be healthier.
I probably wouldn't mind going again (to tone up and get fit) but it is inconvenient (30 minute drive) and I can't afford it. I'm sure it would help my self-confidence, etc though.
I hate it when your mind races like that. There are just way to many thoughts, etc.
Maybe your kids are just so non-threatening. My T said that the touch thing was due to my physical body being equivalent to people's psychological defenses. Does that make sense? Guess my psychological defenses were/ are just way too primitive at times.
My T use to have blankets in her office for patients/ clients. I use to hate that too. Probably not a huge fan of nurturing or trusting another individual to nurture me. It felt too uncomfortable, too unsafe.
Holidays for me can be stressful. Most health professionals are away which can reinforce my losses but also leave me feeling isolated and alone and like I have to cope with everything. It feels a little overwhelming at times. Plus it seems to make the time go by a lot slower.
The highlight of my day at the moment is MacGyver. That's pretty sad but it seems to break the day up for me (it's on at 2 pm). Usually there will be something on TV in the evening. Survivor starts this Thursday night. It all helps just a little. This is why I need therapy so badly. Currently I am using the internet and TV to distract myself and to help me cope. I can't see my GP doing anything tomorrow.
Once you do it you will likely feel a sense of achievement. I have quite bad ocd. When I manage to do something that breaks that behavior even a little I feel a sense of accomplishment.
Less depression more feeling has got to be good, right? I'm not convinced because feeling is painful but it sounds as though it is likely to be healthier.
I hope it goes well at with your doctor today, hope you can get some answers.
I went to my partners aunts today it was a stressful today its far away i drove up and panicked so many times so my partner drove back.
The depression is on its way back i can feel it even today my partner says he can see me going away again in my mind i am quiet and irritable when spoken too. So the more feeling bit didn't last long, the police are calling tomorrow to speak about the incident i reported to them so maybe thats why i am shutting down again. I also have respite tomorrow evening and home for a while on Thursday then back on Thursday night i am anxious i panicked last time which still scares me.
You mentioned ocd i also have ocd i have had it for about 14yrs and when i am really anxious i have alot more rituals and it drives me mad it holds me back alot getting out of the house and going to bed is a nightmare i have so much i have to do.
Hugging my children is so relaxing, not adults though i feel safe with my children.
I hope it goes well with you at the doctors, take care.
I went to my partners aunts today it was a stressful today its far away i drove up and panicked so many times so my partner drove back.
The depression is on its way back i can feel it even today my partner says he can see me going away again in my mind i am quiet and irritable when spoken too. So the more feeling bit didn't last long, the police are calling tomorrow to speak about the incident i reported to them so maybe thats why i am shutting down again. I also have respite tomorrow evening and home for a while on Thursday then back on Thursday night i am anxious i panicked last time which still scares me.
You mentioned ocd i also have ocd i have had it for about 14yrs and when i am really anxious i have alot more rituals and it drives me mad it holds me back alot getting out of the house and going to bed is a nightmare i have so much i have to do.
Hugging my children is so relaxing, not adults though i feel safe with my children.
I hope it goes well with you at the doctors, take care.
It didn't go so well with my doctor. I was feeling a bit frustrated. In the end nothing has changed except I am less likely to see my GP as regularly. He did give me antibiotics, etc for an infected finger. Fantastic! Not!
I like doing things. Going from a to b but I hate spending too long at a destination. I'm not a smell the roses sort of person. I find it creates way too much anxiety.
Withdrawing is a good way to protect oneself. Creating distance can feel helpful. Not very adaptive though. I'm probably a bit like that at the moment. I'm definitely moody and irritable but I then retreat to a quiet place and don't want to communicate.
The last time you went to respite is in the past. This is a new time and a new opportunity.
My ocd is worse at the moment. Have become more stressed and more anxious. I don't have a truck load of things I do just have stupid number or word patterns and need somethings to feel a particular way. It's all time consuming.
80 minutes is probably the longest I'm willing to admit to taking to do something. Usually it isn't quite that long but can be repeated heaps throughout the day.
I hope you have a good day and enjoy respite.
I like doing things. Going from a to b but I hate spending too long at a destination. I'm not a smell the roses sort of person. I find it creates way too much anxiety.
Withdrawing is a good way to protect oneself. Creating distance can feel helpful. Not very adaptive though. I'm probably a bit like that at the moment. I'm definitely moody and irritable but I then retreat to a quiet place and don't want to communicate.
The last time you went to respite is in the past. This is a new time and a new opportunity.
My ocd is worse at the moment. Have become more stressed and more anxious. I don't have a truck load of things I do just have stupid number or word patterns and need somethings to feel a particular way. It's all time consuming.
80 minutes is probably the longest I'm willing to admit to taking to do something. Usually it isn't quite that long but can be repeated heaps throughout the day.
I hope you have a good day and enjoy respite.
I'm sorry it didn't go so well at the doctors i find i get frustrated with doctors too they don't listen because i have anxiety i feel they don't take me seriously and i leave feeling not listened too, sometimes i feel like that with everyone.
I went for a drive today because the weather was nice we live near a forest park and we are able to drive over the mountain it was lovely i get anxious but i needed to get out, i am going to respite at 8 or 9pm i rang them and told them i wanted to spend the day with my children she said thats fine then i will stay until about 2pm tomorrow and then back tomorrow night i would feel as if i let my social worker down if i didn't go as she went to the bother of getting me the place.
With my ocd its all about things feeling right too if it doesn't feel right its not safe its frustrating as well and when i am away from home it gets worse as well.
I feel the same way about staying in the one place too i get restless which is why respite is hard but i feel i need to do this as i am not prepared to try the medication.
I need to go and pack for respite but i am anxious but anyway i will go.
I hope you have a good day.
I went for a drive today because the weather was nice we live near a forest park and we are able to drive over the mountain it was lovely i get anxious but i needed to get out, i am going to respite at 8 or 9pm i rang them and told them i wanted to spend the day with my children she said thats fine then i will stay until about 2pm tomorrow and then back tomorrow night i would feel as if i let my social worker down if i didn't go as she went to the bother of getting me the place.
With my ocd its all about things feeling right too if it doesn't feel right its not safe its frustrating as well and when i am away from home it gets worse as well.
I feel the same way about staying in the one place too i get restless which is why respite is hard but i feel i need to do this as i am not prepared to try the medication.
I need to go and pack for respite but i am anxious but anyway i will go.
I hope you have a good day.
Me too. I had one T who got it though and that felt really good. You know when you don't have to explain everything and educate the professionals.
My GP is usually very good. I've just been struggling for such a long time that he becomes an easy target. He is about the only one, besides my last T, who has supported me. I've been feeling bad so I guess it just translated into my interactions with him.
If you truly feel well and not in need of the respite then I'm sure it's no bother. Your social worker will understand.
That drive did sound lovely. We also live not too far away from a forest park. Sounds slightly different though. Ours is more walking trails and mountain bike tracks. I guess it has no mountain either. =) There are some of those not too far from as well.
I kind of live in a lakes district so there are quite a few lakes around.
Is it school holidays there as well?
I'm sure it only gets worse because we get more anxious.
It's quite a nice day today. The sun's shining even though it is a little cool.
Respite should help you to maintain a sense of stability. Enjoy it.
My GP is usually very good. I've just been struggling for such a long time that he becomes an easy target. He is about the only one, besides my last T, who has supported me. I've been feeling bad so I guess it just translated into my interactions with him.
If you truly feel well and not in need of the respite then I'm sure it's no bother. Your social worker will understand.
That drive did sound lovely. We also live not too far away from a forest park. Sounds slightly different though. Ours is more walking trails and mountain bike tracks. I guess it has no mountain either. =) There are some of those not too far from as well.
I kind of live in a lakes district so there are quite a few lakes around.
Is it school holidays there as well?
I'm sure it only gets worse because we get more anxious.
It's quite a nice day today. The sun's shining even though it is a little cool.
Respite should help you to maintain a sense of stability. Enjoy it.
I never went to respite i was so anxious it was easier when the social worker takes me, now i am anxious and panicky i know its because i didn't go, i rang them though and explained i was too anxious, i have to call back in the morning to let them know how i am because i am supposed to be there they still need to know how i am and if i will stay tomorrow night, if i go tomorrow night i might not feel so bad for missing tonight. I feel so lonely there, i know maybe it helps but not today.
Yeah it is school holidays they go back on Monday though.
It was nice today but still cool too.
I think i am feeling a bit better because i have calmed things down with my partner i hope it stays that way, i still feel the tension underneath i wish it would go away.
I hope by not going to respite that i am setting myself back again, anyway i suppose tomorrow is another day and i will call them in the morning maybe they will talk me into going tomorrow night, its the boredom there my mind does not need time to think my mind needs to be going all the time.
Have a good day, enjoy the sun.
Yeah it is school holidays they go back on Monday though.
It was nice today but still cool too.
I think i am feeling a bit better because i have calmed things down with my partner i hope it stays that way, i still feel the tension underneath i wish it would go away.
I hope by not going to respite that i am setting myself back again, anyway i suppose tomorrow is another day and i will call them in the morning maybe they will talk me into going tomorrow night, its the boredom there my mind does not need time to think my mind needs to be going all the time.
Have a good day, enjoy the sun.
Oh! I think maybe your social worker gave you a sense of security and confidence.
Maybe the police stuff isn't helping either.
I would strongly encourage you to go tomorrow though. Would having your partner drop you off help?
Loneliness is a subject which has come up recently on the emotional eating expert forum. Is it really lonely or just too much time to think? To feel unfulfilled, etc. ??
No, your mind does need time to think and to process things. That is why I like writing here because it helps me process my own stuff (which I have to do because I have no T to help with insights, etc).
If you want to read how messed up and out of control I am you can read some of my posts on the emotional eating forum. It's pretty ugly. I feel I have a good rapport with the doctor and while he is only ever able to answer the initial question I feel he keeps up to date with all the additional comments. He gives good advice.
If you ever want to ask about emotional eating or mental health he is the one to ask. He doesn't seem to force meds either which means I respect him even more.
When are your appointments next week?
Maybe the police stuff isn't helping either.
I would strongly encourage you to go tomorrow though. Would having your partner drop you off help?
Loneliness is a subject which has come up recently on the emotional eating expert forum. Is it really lonely or just too much time to think? To feel unfulfilled, etc. ??
No, your mind does need time to think and to process things. That is why I like writing here because it helps me process my own stuff (which I have to do because I have no T to help with insights, etc).
If you want to read how messed up and out of control I am you can read some of my posts on the emotional eating forum. It's pretty ugly. I feel I have a good rapport with the doctor and while he is only ever able to answer the initial question I feel he keeps up to date with all the additional comments. He gives good advice.
If you ever want to ask about emotional eating or mental health he is the one to ask. He doesn't seem to force meds either which means I respect him even more.
When are your appointments next week?
I am going to respite this evening as i woke up feeling depressed and i think its partly because i feel i let myself down because i didn't go so i rang them this morning and told them i will come in about 7pm. I rang last night and they were really nice about it but i am feeling stressed today so it would do no harm to go. I have my therapist on Tuesday and my social worker will be in touch on Monday, i think its better when she takes me, my partner will drop me of this evening but it will be so hard to say goodbye to them even if it is only for one night.
Its good you have the support on here and from the doctor, will you get a therapist again?
I think its more i have too much time to think when i am away from home and then i panic i would want to be able to think and allow my mind to process things without panicking but it doesn't work like that i panic at everything.
I went to town today and done some shopping but i was very anxious but i still went so i suppose thats something.
I need to go and try and sort out stuff for going. I hope you have a good day.
Its good you have the support on here and from the doctor, will you get a therapist again?
I think its more i have too much time to think when i am away from home and then i panic i would want to be able to think and allow my mind to process things without panicking but it doesn't work like that i panic at everything.
I went to town today and done some shopping but i was very anxious but i still went so i suppose thats something.
I need to go and try and sort out stuff for going. I hope you have a good day.
That was a good idea.
Monday isn't too far away. When I feel stressed I end up counting the number of days or sleeps till my next appointment. I had a previously booked appointment to see my GP next Tuesday. I am thinking about keeping it. Hopefully it can't be any worse than this weeks one. I usually have a pretty good relationship with my doctor.
I expect so. Just not sure when that would be. I would hope before the end of this year. I just don't know. I'm not sure what the outcome of the review will be.
The doctor and the net has limitations but I've appreciated what little input he has been able to offer. In some respects some of his comments have been more enlightening than some of the things my last T was saying. But then that wasn't much. I thought he, my T, wasn't that good.
The panic is there for a reason. Find out what it masks and then you can look at the underlying issue. Doing that should help reduce the anxiety.
My plan is to go for a short run and to try and get real with myself. Try and leave some of my hurt behind. It's not helping me at this point and is making me feel more pessimistic and depressed. I need to tackle my current mood with my GP. Probably he isn't aware of just how shut down I am.
Will definitely try and get some fresh air. The suns out but it is Autumn and is freezing. I think I must still be cold intolerant from the iron deficiency.
Monday isn't too far away. When I feel stressed I end up counting the number of days or sleeps till my next appointment. I had a previously booked appointment to see my GP next Tuesday. I am thinking about keeping it. Hopefully it can't be any worse than this weeks one. I usually have a pretty good relationship with my doctor.
I expect so. Just not sure when that would be. I would hope before the end of this year. I just don't know. I'm not sure what the outcome of the review will be.
The doctor and the net has limitations but I've appreciated what little input he has been able to offer. In some respects some of his comments have been more enlightening than some of the things my last T was saying. But then that wasn't much. I thought he, my T, wasn't that good.
The panic is there for a reason. Find out what it masks and then you can look at the underlying issue. Doing that should help reduce the anxiety.
My plan is to go for a short run and to try and get real with myself. Try and leave some of my hurt behind. It's not helping me at this point and is making me feel more pessimistic and depressed. I need to tackle my current mood with my GP. Probably he isn't aware of just how shut down I am.
Will definitely try and get some fresh air. The suns out but it is Autumn and is freezing. I think I must still be cold intolerant from the iron deficiency.
I didn't go i am so useless i can't make myself do anything i always back out now i have to live with the feeling of giving in and not going, i just get so anxious and then i get scared i just wanted to be at home with my children, my partner is annoying me, making comments about my weight he knows it hurts me so he uses it against me he has always done this. I think because i didn't go he knows i needed to be here so he thinks he can treat me whatever way he wants, anyway i made the choice its my fault if i feel bad. I will talk it over with the social worker and tell her she has to take me otherwise i won't go.
The panic i think is because i have so much to deal with that i don't want to talk about it and it annoys me and thats how it comes out in the from of panic, i panic when i am away from home because i am scared i won't be able to stop panicking i know i will eventually stop but it scares me. I will panic and be anxious all weekend now because i didn't go to respite and i will be really annoyed over it.
Yeah talk with your GP tell him how you feel, a run would also be good.
Its Autumn with you i love Autumn its Spring here strange we had a really bad winter the coldest in years and its taking a while to warm up but the weekend it to be nice, what month does your winter start in? Does it usually be really cold?
I hope you get a therapist soon and are able to start sorting things out
I need to try and distract my mind before i go mad thinking about not going to respite, i also feel like i wasted two days someone else could have had, enough thinking.
Have a good day.
The panic i think is because i have so much to deal with that i don't want to talk about it and it annoys me and thats how it comes out in the from of panic, i panic when i am away from home because i am scared i won't be able to stop panicking i know i will eventually stop but it scares me. I will panic and be anxious all weekend now because i didn't go to respite and i will be really annoyed over it.
Yeah talk with your GP tell him how you feel, a run would also be good.
Its Autumn with you i love Autumn its Spring here strange we had a really bad winter the coldest in years and its taking a while to warm up but the weekend it to be nice, what month does your winter start in? Does it usually be really cold?
I hope you get a therapist soon and are able to start sorting things out
I need to try and distract my mind before i go mad thinking about not going to respite, i also feel like i wasted two days someone else could have had, enough thinking.
Have a good day.
It's OK.
I'm dealing with the same feelings. I gave up on my running and then over ate just so that I could justify not doing it. The event is tomorrow. Registration, from now till 10 pm.
Our behavior helps us learn more about ourselves. Also shows us what we need to work on. And just because we backed out this time, or the time before, doesn't mean that we will next time.
I thought it sounded like a bad idea to have the kids with you. Probably doesn't teach them a lot either. Your partner should have reinforced the need for you to stay. Or you should have had someone pick you up (if that were an option) so that you would then have the strength to follow through.
Whatever we have done or haven't done we can't undo the past, but we can look forward. Don't beat yourself up about the respite, etc -it truly is OK.
Do you want to know how I justify not running. I say that come next week the other entrants will be poorer (entry fee) and we're no different. They may feel as though they achieved something but ... It's like going to respite. Is it really going to matter, other than you berating yourself, that you didn't go. They're just feelings. They'll pass. We'll have new challenges to face. The world goes on.
Maybe he has an issue with you being vulnerable? He only hurts you because he is hurting for some reason. I wouldn't tolerate him making comments like that. I think it is extremely insensitive and disrespectful. Even if you do have a weight problem there is a more acceptable way of addressing the issue. Devaluing you won't motivate you to lose weight, maybe only depress you more and cause you to turn to food and put on more weight. =(
Personally I think your health is your priority. I am just beginning to learn this myself. I think I'm going to have to make some very hard decisions very soon.
Doing what I'm doing at the moment is killing me. I can't even really function anymore. I don't want more of this so I am going to have to make some really big changes. Like leaving home, etc.
You're right, it is your problem you feel bad. You can do stuff to help make yourself feel better though (and don't put up with crap from your partner. Just because you're unwell doesn't mean it is OK for him to treat you badly).
I think it is OK to rely on your social worker but I think you also need to be working towards a place where you can do stuff by yourself independently.
Have you tried journalling? That may help you get stuff out. Could be a good record of how far you've come too.
And I will be very annoyed with you if you continue to feel bad about a decision you made. You made it, let it go. I doubt that you will have missed out on anything.
Doesn't that give you the weekend to get your kids organized for next week? =)
I've been for a short run. I'll keep the appointment with my GP. It will give me an opportunity to repair the relationship too. Just making that decision helped me to feel calmer.
I don't mind any of the seasons. Spring is probably my favorite but Autumn is nice too.
Our last winter was the coldest in about 35 years. Our summer has been the dries in over 40 years. Autumn is expected to be pretty dry too. Dry is OK if you don't depend on the rain.
Winter is in June. Spring is September.
Winter probably isn't too bad. We have frosts which is 0 oC. If you're outside though and it is wet and windy it can be cold.
We're just getting our house finished and the heating probably isn't that flash. A lot of our house is glass and we tend to lose heaps of heat through them. Also we haven't really had any curtains either. None now anyway.
Don't stress. You were booked in. It was up to you to use it as you wished. It was unfortunate how it all turned out and yes it would have been better if you could have gone or they could have filled the room but that time was for you.
Same with therapy. You choose how to use your therapy time. You can talk, not talk, not turn up, etc. The decisions you make do have consequences though.
I have learnt the hard way that it is better to try and be skillful than to have to deal with the consequences of bad decisions.
It would be so good if we all had crystal balls and could look ahead. Shame about my behavior (especially when I was unwell) is one thing I have had to learn to deal with.
Take care. Enjoy your weekend. DON'T Stress!! It just makes you old and gray and wrinkled before your time. Plus may leave you susceptible to heart disease, etc.
I'm dealing with the same feelings. I gave up on my running and then over ate just so that I could justify not doing it. The event is tomorrow. Registration, from now till 10 pm.
Our behavior helps us learn more about ourselves. Also shows us what we need to work on. And just because we backed out this time, or the time before, doesn't mean that we will next time.
I thought it sounded like a bad idea to have the kids with you. Probably doesn't teach them a lot either. Your partner should have reinforced the need for you to stay. Or you should have had someone pick you up (if that were an option) so that you would then have the strength to follow through.
Whatever we have done or haven't done we can't undo the past, but we can look forward. Don't beat yourself up about the respite, etc -it truly is OK.
Do you want to know how I justify not running. I say that come next week the other entrants will be poorer (entry fee) and we're no different. They may feel as though they achieved something but ... It's like going to respite. Is it really going to matter, other than you berating yourself, that you didn't go. They're just feelings. They'll pass. We'll have new challenges to face. The world goes on.
Maybe he has an issue with you being vulnerable? He only hurts you because he is hurting for some reason. I wouldn't tolerate him making comments like that. I think it is extremely insensitive and disrespectful. Even if you do have a weight problem there is a more acceptable way of addressing the issue. Devaluing you won't motivate you to lose weight, maybe only depress you more and cause you to turn to food and put on more weight. =(
Personally I think your health is your priority. I am just beginning to learn this myself. I think I'm going to have to make some very hard decisions very soon.
Doing what I'm doing at the moment is killing me. I can't even really function anymore. I don't want more of this so I am going to have to make some really big changes. Like leaving home, etc.
You're right, it is your problem you feel bad. You can do stuff to help make yourself feel better though (and don't put up with crap from your partner. Just because you're unwell doesn't mean it is OK for him to treat you badly).
I think it is OK to rely on your social worker but I think you also need to be working towards a place where you can do stuff by yourself independently.
Have you tried journalling? That may help you get stuff out. Could be a good record of how far you've come too.
And I will be very annoyed with you if you continue to feel bad about a decision you made. You made it, let it go. I doubt that you will have missed out on anything.
Doesn't that give you the weekend to get your kids organized for next week? =)
I've been for a short run. I'll keep the appointment with my GP. It will give me an opportunity to repair the relationship too. Just making that decision helped me to feel calmer.
I don't mind any of the seasons. Spring is probably my favorite but Autumn is nice too.
Our last winter was the coldest in about 35 years. Our summer has been the dries in over 40 years. Autumn is expected to be pretty dry too. Dry is OK if you don't depend on the rain.
Winter is in June. Spring is September.
Winter probably isn't too bad. We have frosts which is 0 oC. If you're outside though and it is wet and windy it can be cold.
We're just getting our house finished and the heating probably isn't that flash. A lot of our house is glass and we tend to lose heaps of heat through them. Also we haven't really had any curtains either. None now anyway.
Don't stress. You were booked in. It was up to you to use it as you wished. It was unfortunate how it all turned out and yes it would have been better if you could have gone or they could have filled the room but that time was for you.
Same with therapy. You choose how to use your therapy time. You can talk, not talk, not turn up, etc. The decisions you make do have consequences though.
I have learnt the hard way that it is better to try and be skillful than to have to deal with the consequences of bad decisions.
It would be so good if we all had crystal balls and could look ahead. Shame about my behavior (especially when I was unwell) is one thing I have had to learn to deal with.
Take care. Enjoy your weekend. DON'T Stress!! It just makes you old and gray and wrinkled before your time. Plus may leave you susceptible to heart disease, etc.
Thanks for that, i am trying not to worry about it, i have an ok day which feels strange i am very hyper inside and outside and i am very restless i can't relax i have been like this before but that was months ago it scares me abit i wonder why i feel this way after feeling so depressed for so long and i know after a while my mood will drop again then its hard to deal with.
I went to the town today the sun was shining and i was warm i bought a new TV for my kitchen. I was sitting on a bench in town playing with my baby and i turned around and my therapist was watching me and i turned away really quickly i was embarassed i told myself i would say hello next time but i always turn away then i feel bad he is so good to me, i hope he understands its not personal its just me, i mentioned it to my social worker last time i saw her and she said not to worry because she said he knows so much about me that its probably like being naked when i see him i am so vulnerable to him, so that helped a bit.
I will probably try respite again sometime, i know they are keen for me to go there for the intensive therapy so i will try and work with them.
Its good you went for a run, you must be fit, don't worry about eating too much, i eat when i am stressed its like i am trying to eat the feeling away it doesn't work though. My partner has always been like that it annoys me i am who i am he needs to accept it, i know i need to lose weight but him treating me like that i will eat me, i have put on weight since the birth of my last child and with being depressed i haven't been to the gym i had no energy he needs to understand that.
We are planning to go for a picnic on Sunday the weather is too be nice we were going to see a movie but it would be better to be outside on a nice day.
A house with a lot of glass that sounds really nice.
You mentioned leaving home, would you really or just want too, its a hard decision to make.
I see what you mean about just getting on with the decision i have made and its true like with you too and about the run, just because you didn't do it, its not the end of the world and there is no point stressing about it, easier said than done though.
Decision making can be good, if you don't feel bad about it after that is, but going to your GP thats a good decision.
Maybe the better weather has affected my mood i don't know, or the fact that i go to see a woman who works for womans aid she helps woman who suffer domestic violence, well anyway she was helping me understand my relationship with my partner because at times its not good, its not physically violent but verbally and emotinally, well so they tell me but i refuse to accept it, my partner is the only person i have, i have no friends and my parents don't bother so why would i leave him, he is very good to me at times.
Anyway the talk with her made me realise i won't leave ever i need to be in this relationship i can't be alone and no matter how they try to advise me i won't listen, so that was another decision made because i had been so stressed about the relationship and didn't know what to do but talking with her made me realise i won't do anything so there is no point talking about because i won't change it, do i make sense.
Don't get me wrong my partner is not all bad he has a really good side but he has a bad one as well and i get confused because he can be so good to me but they reckon thats how someone abusive works but anyway i need to be with him so i have to accept it.
Do you ever find that your mood lifts like that, i still feel abit depressed but strange and hyper well i suppose its better than suicidal, i think its anxiety more than anything that is making me hyper.
I hope you have a good day
I went to the town today the sun was shining and i was warm i bought a new TV for my kitchen. I was sitting on a bench in town playing with my baby and i turned around and my therapist was watching me and i turned away really quickly i was embarassed i told myself i would say hello next time but i always turn away then i feel bad he is so good to me, i hope he understands its not personal its just me, i mentioned it to my social worker last time i saw her and she said not to worry because she said he knows so much about me that its probably like being naked when i see him i am so vulnerable to him, so that helped a bit.
I will probably try respite again sometime, i know they are keen for me to go there for the intensive therapy so i will try and work with them.
Its good you went for a run, you must be fit, don't worry about eating too much, i eat when i am stressed its like i am trying to eat the feeling away it doesn't work though. My partner has always been like that it annoys me i am who i am he needs to accept it, i know i need to lose weight but him treating me like that i will eat me, i have put on weight since the birth of my last child and with being depressed i haven't been to the gym i had no energy he needs to understand that.
We are planning to go for a picnic on Sunday the weather is too be nice we were going to see a movie but it would be better to be outside on a nice day.
A house with a lot of glass that sounds really nice.
You mentioned leaving home, would you really or just want too, its a hard decision to make.
I see what you mean about just getting on with the decision i have made and its true like with you too and about the run, just because you didn't do it, its not the end of the world and there is no point stressing about it, easier said than done though.
Decision making can be good, if you don't feel bad about it after that is, but going to your GP thats a good decision.
Maybe the better weather has affected my mood i don't know, or the fact that i go to see a woman who works for womans aid she helps woman who suffer domestic violence, well anyway she was helping me understand my relationship with my partner because at times its not good, its not physically violent but verbally and emotinally, well so they tell me but i refuse to accept it, my partner is the only person i have, i have no friends and my parents don't bother so why would i leave him, he is very good to me at times.
Anyway the talk with her made me realise i won't leave ever i need to be in this relationship i can't be alone and no matter how they try to advise me i won't listen, so that was another decision made because i had been so stressed about the relationship and didn't know what to do but talking with her made me realise i won't do anything so there is no point talking about because i won't change it, do i make sense.
Don't get me wrong my partner is not all bad he has a really good side but he has a bad one as well and i get confused because he can be so good to me but they reckon thats how someone abusive works but anyway i need to be with him so i have to accept it.
Do you ever find that your mood lifts like that, i still feel abit depressed but strange and hyper well i suppose its better than suicidal, i think its anxiety more than anything that is making me hyper.
I hope you have a good day
Mood can be a strange thing -up, down, stable.
He was watching you or he just happened to be passing and saw you? Watching sounds a bit eerie. But then I did go out and watch the start of the triathlon and saw, and watched, my GP. I guess some of us our curious people. It's a bit ?? (?odd) seeing someone you know and relate to in one context in another.
I don't necessarily like health workers seeing me outside of the health service. Sometimes I think people can misinterpret what they see.
One day I was in town shopping for something to wear to my sister's wedding that weekend. I saw one of the psych emergency team members, or he saw me.
Later that day when I spoke to my GP he involved them. I don't think these people can comprehend that life can be so terrible when they've just seen you shopping and seeming functional.
Are you embarrassed because he sees you in unguarded moments? Or like I said before has seen you in a role that you can function in (for a while anyway). Or embarrassed that he sees you in the worse state?
Your social worker sounds about right.
I was just thinking about that the other day regarding the contestants on Survivor. The show must know so much about them: their medical history, ... just lots of stuff.
True. A movie can wait for a rainy day (or evening).
Sounds cold (and like a lot of glass to keep clean). =) I've been enjoying sitting near one of them in the sun. At least it helps to warm me up.
I want too and I need too. I expect it will take time but it's something I need to do. The environment here is just so toxic. For what it's worth I may as well be living in an old people's home, and while I feel old, I am definitely not that old!!
They had a helicopter to shoot the event. It made me feel so sad.
Realistically I know I made the best decision for me at this time. I wrote in my post to Dr Gould how bad things had been several years ago after the run of the same event. I was devastated and things were pretty bad. I actually woke up feeling OK this morning. Probably because I have my period. Yuck! PMT. That's probably why my mood has been so variable.
Today I decided I am going to do the triathlon next year and I am going to win my age group. I have a lot of work to do and a lot of things to work on but if I get everything right I should do OK. One year and counting. One year to work on anxiety, depression, nutrition, weight, etc, etc. Oh and fitness. Whoops! Nearly forgot that one.
I would leave. That would be hard with him at home all the time now then.
People deserve better than to be abused. But then I guess I take a lot of people's crap too (and they mine). I was just saying to Dr Gould that I felt I had to be careful not to batter my father by putting him down so much. It's so easy to do when he can be so stupid and useless and controlling.
It makes sense. If that is your decision. That sounds a bit like me saying I'm going to stay at home for the rest of my life. I can't judge or decide for you because I don't know the true dynamics of your relationship. If he were always abusive and insensitive I would leave. Short-term it would be hard. Long-term, just feel that weight off your shoulders.
You don't need to be with anyone. You are strong enough to be alone (with support to start with, but over time can become more independent). It seems a little strange that you aren't receptive to the possibility of change. I can see it's a raw subject at the moment.
I have periods (very rarely) when I feel more motivated and feel I have more clarity, more purpose and direction. I sometimes get like that when I am unwell and go past being angry. Or turn the anger around. I think I make others out to be bad and so push them away which gives me strength, makes me feel more in control. There is no room for both the good and the bad though which is a big problem. I need balance.
Or too much sugar??
Hey, have a good day.
He was watching you or he just happened to be passing and saw you? Watching sounds a bit eerie. But then I did go out and watch the start of the triathlon and saw, and watched, my GP. I guess some of us our curious people. It's a bit ?? (?odd) seeing someone you know and relate to in one context in another.
I don't necessarily like health workers seeing me outside of the health service. Sometimes I think people can misinterpret what they see.
One day I was in town shopping for something to wear to my sister's wedding that weekend. I saw one of the psych emergency team members, or he saw me.
Later that day when I spoke to my GP he involved them. I don't think these people can comprehend that life can be so terrible when they've just seen you shopping and seeming functional.
Are you embarrassed because he sees you in unguarded moments? Or like I said before has seen you in a role that you can function in (for a while anyway). Or embarrassed that he sees you in the worse state?
Your social worker sounds about right.
I was just thinking about that the other day regarding the contestants on Survivor. The show must know so much about them: their medical history, ... just lots of stuff.
True. A movie can wait for a rainy day (or evening).
Sounds cold (and like a lot of glass to keep clean). =) I've been enjoying sitting near one of them in the sun. At least it helps to warm me up.
I want too and I need too. I expect it will take time but it's something I need to do. The environment here is just so toxic. For what it's worth I may as well be living in an old people's home, and while I feel old, I am definitely not that old!!
They had a helicopter to shoot the event. It made me feel so sad.
Realistically I know I made the best decision for me at this time. I wrote in my post to Dr Gould how bad things had been several years ago after the run of the same event. I was devastated and things were pretty bad. I actually woke up feeling OK this morning. Probably because I have my period. Yuck! PMT. That's probably why my mood has been so variable.
Today I decided I am going to do the triathlon next year and I am going to win my age group. I have a lot of work to do and a lot of things to work on but if I get everything right I should do OK. One year and counting. One year to work on anxiety, depression, nutrition, weight, etc, etc. Oh and fitness. Whoops! Nearly forgot that one.
I would leave. That would be hard with him at home all the time now then.
People deserve better than to be abused. But then I guess I take a lot of people's crap too (and they mine). I was just saying to Dr Gould that I felt I had to be careful not to batter my father by putting him down so much. It's so easy to do when he can be so stupid and useless and controlling.
It makes sense. If that is your decision. That sounds a bit like me saying I'm going to stay at home for the rest of my life. I can't judge or decide for you because I don't know the true dynamics of your relationship. If he were always abusive and insensitive I would leave. Short-term it would be hard. Long-term, just feel that weight off your shoulders.
You don't need to be with anyone. You are strong enough to be alone (with support to start with, but over time can become more independent). It seems a little strange that you aren't receptive to the possibility of change. I can see it's a raw subject at the moment.
I have periods (very rarely) when I feel more motivated and feel I have more clarity, more purpose and direction. I sometimes get like that when I am unwell and go past being angry. Or turn the anger around. I think I make others out to be bad and so push them away which gives me strength, makes me feel more in control. There is no room for both the good and the bad though which is a big problem. I need balance.
Or too much sugar??
Hey, have a good day.
I don't think he was watching in a creepy sense lol he was just looking over at us he was waiting in a queue outside a bank, i guess i am embarassed because he only see's one side of me and to see with my child would be a side he never see's. He knows i can function a bit i do it for my children and i try to be normal around them although sometimes that isn't possible.
I am so anxious today its making me really irritable i can't settle or concentrate.
I think if i go down again i will stay there i don't think i will have the energy to climb out of the hole again
I can't leave my partner i would be totally alone and i can't have that i would be too scared and i need him to look after the children, my therapist reckons i can do it alone but i know i can't. I don't want to accept that there is anything wrong with my relationship because that reflects on me as a person, i don't like change as you have guessed and strangely i need to be with him, i just want to feel loved.
It is good that you have made a decision about the run for next year its something to work towards and no point looking backwards, easier said than done.
I don't think today will be as good as yesterday i feel strange and out of control a bit, i am getting feelings of wanting to escape again, i don't actually think that its me who controls how i feel its my mood how i behave all depends on my mood but i don't think i can control my mood., i suppose thats where medication comes in. My partner is stressing me out today because i am on the internet, i hate that.
Yeah balance would be good, its hard to find though.
I agree though that if therapists think you can function at all they think all is well, they need to see beneath it all.
Have a good day.
I am so anxious today its making me really irritable i can't settle or concentrate.
I think if i go down again i will stay there i don't think i will have the energy to climb out of the hole again
I can't leave my partner i would be totally alone and i can't have that i would be too scared and i need him to look after the children, my therapist reckons i can do it alone but i know i can't. I don't want to accept that there is anything wrong with my relationship because that reflects on me as a person, i don't like change as you have guessed and strangely i need to be with him, i just want to feel loved.
It is good that you have made a decision about the run for next year its something to work towards and no point looking backwards, easier said than done.
I don't think today will be as good as yesterday i feel strange and out of control a bit, i am getting feelings of wanting to escape again, i don't actually think that its me who controls how i feel its my mood how i behave all depends on my mood but i don't think i can control my mood., i suppose thats where medication comes in. My partner is stressing me out today because i am on the internet, i hate that.
Yeah balance would be good, its hard to find though.
I agree though that if therapists think you can function at all they think all is well, they need to see beneath it all.
Have a good day.
You will. You're resilient.
Mood usually does come back to how we perceive things.
Sorry this is so short. I have a migraine today and are finding it really hard to see and concentrate.
Mood usually does come back to how we perceive things.
Sorry this is so short. I have a migraine today and are finding it really hard to see and concentrate.
I hope your head gets better soon. I will talk soon i had an argument with my mother so all is not good here or rather she done the talking and i listened, there is so much i could say to her but i won't. I hope you feel better soon.
That doesn't sound good. How can you have an argument with you just listening? Maybe you should talk to her? Lay it all out?
Feeling better but still not 100%. I should be OK tomorrow. Hopefully.
I hope you're doing OK.
Feeling better but still not 100%. I should be OK tomorrow. Hopefully.
I hope you're doing OK.
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A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
