1449758 tn?1292505600

All I Want For Christmas is a BFP!

With my due date quickly approaching (2/2/11).... it's getting harder to accept my loss in August this year.

My periods appeared to have gone back to normal... so I thought UNTIL this current cycle! I thought I was on a 29 day cycle and thought I was a week late for AF, even thought maybe I could be..... UNTIL AF reared her ugly red head @ 35 DPO. && OMG the cramps and backache that accompanied her!!!! Like I didn't have enough evidence already! Seriously, I would compare the pain to post D&C. I took a Vicodin that didn't even touch it = (

So, I'm trying to stay positive. Originally, hubby didn't want to try again. He was ok w/letting whatever will be will be which meant "not preventing". I know he was protecting me. He was afraid I'd suffer another loss b/c I was so sad that I was literally crying in my sleep. I'm sure he didn't want me to suffer disappointment if/when it didn't happen for us too. More recently, I started using FF to chart and I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating so that's a good thing... it means it's possible anyway.  Hubby has even decided that he wouldn't mind trying, as long as I was ready. I just don't know how long I'm willing to try. It was ok at first. I was fine w/ giving it to God. I wasn't obsessing or anything BUT now I'm a self-admitted POAS-addict. I used 10 HPT test strips over the past week or so. My first couple of cycles, I was just happy to know my body was getting back to normal which meant it was preparing for baby-making mode!

Now, after one month of charting and cycle #3, I'm starting to worry. I mean, I'm no spring chicken! And w/my EDD nearing, I'm finding it more difficult to stay positive. I would love to hear some advice from those of you who are in the same boat as I am or maybe encouraging success stories would give me hope???
All I want for Christmas is a BFP!!!!!

Sorry that this post is closer to a journal entry than a forum question but I just needed to vent today.
4 Responses
1456473 tn?1365827455
Good luck :)
1449758 tn?1292505600
1449758 tn?1292505600
So here I am experiencing symptoms again & not just of the PMS kind this time. I have only gagged while brushing my teeth during my last pregnancy & now 3 out of 4 Xs this week! Also, I'm super thirsty and craving stuff like veggies and nuts which are not typical PMS symptoms for me.

Now, FF changed my O-date and has me @ 11 DPO today but according to me and medhelp, I'm @ 16 DPO (5 day difference) so I wasn't sure if I'd be testing too early.

Well, I took an I-Net cheapie @ 5 (FF) or 10 (MH) DPO and swore I saw a line! I thought, "Why did I even take it this early cuz I'm doubting my eyes and thinking maybe it's just wishful thinking!" so I waited 3 days to retest. Yes, I am a POAS addict & buy them in bulk on ebay!!! && sure enough, I still see the very very faintest of a line & still feeling doubtful.

Of course, with a huge supply of cheapies.... I continued testing everyday until I saw a definite 'pretty in pink' line & today was the day. I was pretty certain yesterday but confident in saying "I GOT MY BFP" today so I'm sharing w/all of you hopefuls who are ttc following a m/c.

You are the 1st to know. I haven't decided if/when I will tell any family friends b/c of my last pregnancy but I am debating purchasing a digital that reads 'pregnant' to give hubby for Christmas (even though I must have 20 sticks left).

If anyone wants to peep my chart & help guess what my O-date was, that would be greatly appreciated as I have only been temping/charting for 2 1/2 cycles. Thanks!
1227784 tn?1293498993
Congrats!! this one will be the one that sticks!
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