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Advice as to how to cope with this?

I'm a depressed 16 year old female who has been going through some really bad problems for the past few years.

First of all, I live in a poor family in a small town in the south. Nothing to do, nothing new to see. Just boring. I'm not close with any other family, my more distant family seems to dislike or forget about me. I live with my Father (who I am close to) my Mother and my 21 year old Brother. I am home schooled due to extreme anxiety.

Lately I've just felt no reason to continue. My mother seems to love my brother than me, she babies him, doesn't make him get a job so he just gets to sleep all day and mooch off of us. He is also violent at times, punches holes in the walls. He has cussed me out and my parents say nothing to him. I'm trying to find a job currently since I just turned 16 this month. To make this worse, I'm in love with someone miles and miles away. Thankfully I get to talk to them online everyday but I just wish I could leave and be with them. We well get to meet when I turn old enough to travel but it feels so far away.

I feel like things wont get better till I'm with them since they are the only thing that makes me happy anymore. I'm becoming suicidal again. I don't self-harm, but I often have thoughts of it. I don't do drugs or drink alcohol, in fact I've never gotten into any legal trouble.  I'm actually on the outside straightedge kid. The kind who wont do anything to hurt anyone. I don't know what to do anymore. If things don't change soon I don't know what I'll do. I just need advice
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Avatar universal
Hi "Kitty Dragon."  I have gone through depression, and I know what that's like. Just remember, it doesn't matter where you start, it's where you end up.  Meaning, that you're not very wealthy, you're from a small town with nothing new to see.  Think about the future.  What is your "dream job"?  Aspire to be that.  Work hard towards your dream, research and do the work required to achieve that dream.  If your dream is truly "unreachable" then I suggest you plan another career path that will guarantee financial security in the future.  Go to college, and get the degrees required to fill that career field.

Now, I say all of this because you mentioned that you could "just leave and be with them [meaning your significant other]" (a direct quote from your above statement).  I talk about following your dreams/ensuring your future with a job that offers financial security because it's important to be a woman who is independent financially and in her career as well.

As for your family situation, you should have less frequent interactions with your brother, as this seems to be a potentially abusive relationship—If any relationship starts or feels to be abusive, stop right there and cut the relation, or acknowledge the fact that it is abusive.....get help from a professional (doctor, psychologist, therapist) if this is the case.

Please, don't think of suicide.  Suicide would be throwing away all of your untold potential for a better adult life.  We are all given one life to live, use it wisely; but also live life to the fullest.

You matter, your life matters, you can come through these times.

Best regards, Anonymous 14 year old :)
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