I Hate doing it but i Self harm

[tonibradley123]

within the past 2 years i have been self harming, i really hate doing it but to me its the only way i can take the pain away, my was diganoised with MS a few years back and now he's getting worse, i constantly argue with my mum and i dont see my dad that often, i've tried talk to someone at school for help but i dont think its working. im frightened of dooing PE because of the scars on my arms, no matter how much i love PE i just cant face being asking questions about my arms. Plrase help me, i want to stop, i just need to talk to some people and see how they cope.

[meg613]

i cut my arms too, its hard having the scars/cuts, i have tried switching places -- i cut my leg once but its not the same, deosn't really work.

surely you could wear a tight long sleeved top under your pe tshirt? like one of those sports lycras, all the guys at my school wear them.... just cuz they like them and you would probably be aloud.. i wear thin long sleeved tops under everything. no one has ever commented and i haven't started caring about my arms untill recently, this is my first summer with the scars/cuts and its really hard and it gets hot but for me i could never not cover them.... to toni, if its not working talking to someone at school you should tell whoever you are taking to, they need to know and they might change the way they are working with you or organise a different kind of help.

thanks for the tip with the tape... i'm gunna try it out.
bracelets are good and for guys you can get some really cool leather cuffs that are really fashionable, just build it all up with a watch, sweatband and cuff etc.

it would be good for me too if i could chat to one of you by email, i don'T know anyone else who self harms and havn'T ever talked to someone who does so if your interested just add me and i'll email you.
hope it all goes ok and that you find a way to do ur pe, if you enjoy something it would be a shame not to do it.
megan

[goodgardenpeas28]

The thing about self-injury is that it is addictive. Causing physical harm to your body releases chemicals that make you feel good or numb or just make you relax and forget. The real way to deal with self injury is to focus on the triggers or emotions surrounding the desire to hurt yourself. You start with small steps: instead of "quitting" cold turkey only to end up doing in again in 2 weeks really doesnt help the situation. First you must recognize the circumstances surrounding your desire to numb out/relax. Are you stressed or anxious? Are you upset, sad, overwhelmed with happiness? Once you can pinpoint the various emotions, even if you choose to cut after you have identified the emotion, you are making progress. Once you know how you are feeling you need to know what got you there. Were you watching a sad movie, thinking about what's going wrong in your life, or did you just have a fight? The most important step to ending self injury is learning to "sit with your emotions" Basically you have to just feel them; which can be pretty scary. And being able to sit with the emotion until its gone is not going to happen right away; it takes practice; but every time you wait to cut, the longer you wait to cut, the longer you sit with the emotion and teach yourself that its ok the closer you come to breaking the cycle. As for scars-P.E. you probably cannot wear bracelets which was my godsend in highschool but you probably can wear hair bands/elastics. 4 or 5 on your wrist covers fairly well if the cuts are straight across. anything that is healed can be covered with make up. Sweatbands are an option- they're also somewhat of a fashion statement. When I had large scars on my wrist I used wide fabric athletic tape, made it into a bracelet and drew all over it. It acts like a bandaid if you put cotton or a tissue or something on the inside.  The worst answer i can come up with is switch places for cutting-although it wont make you feel any less guilty for doing it.Good Luck

[elliesmithy]

heys. look i self-harm too. and have scars. i spent alot of the time i had to do pe with my arms bandaged making up excuses as to why i had them on. i know people say so many things but i found. if you use ice cubes. wether thats attempting to cut yourself with them it hurts but it never actually cuts. you can even put die in it to make your brain think its been cut. but it hasnt and the red marks go away easily within a few hours. i wear arm warmers or sweat bands to cover my arms. maybe that may help you?
hope that helps

[thatquietgirl]

The key to not self-harming is distracting yourself.  My therapist once suggested to me taking a piece of ice, holding it in my hand even after it begins burning, and then sitting down before my mind could get off of that and watching a comedy or something completely the opposite of what my mood was before to get my mind off the self-harming.  It did work to an extent.  Then, there was the suggestion to stay around people despite how irritating it can be when you have the urge.  That one was much harder to do, but when I managed it, it did work.

About the pre-existing scars... If they're healed, a green concealer and some foundation can do wonders for the time being.  Wouldn't bother trying on any new cuts.  It just makes them more obvious and itches like heck.  My old scars ended up fading over a couple years, so I can only see them if I am in the sun a lot and thereby get tanned but they weren't that deep.

Also, talking to anyone you can trust about what you're feeling (don't have to mention the cutting, if you feel it will get you stigmatized or whatever) can help, so can keeping a diary to get out your feelings when you're feeling like cutting.  Either can help you figure out a pattern in what drives you to cut so you can try to avoid triggers, especially the latter.  If you feel you don't have anyone you can trust to talk to about your feelings, you can always ask your parents if you can see a therapist.  Just tell them you're feeling some things you don't feel like you can express to them at the moment and need someone to talk to.

Best of luck!