I'm Depressed - I'm diagnosed and everything - but there's no cause. There's no reason, nothing that makes me depressed. I just am. I've read that asthmatics (and I have a severe case of asthma) can suffer Depression as a side effect; almost 20% of asthmatics are Depressed. I suffered in silence for 3 or 4 months before I broke down in front of my mum, who told my doctor, who assigned me to a Therapist. I hate him.
Okay, that's harsh. But I hate him; I hate him for no reason. He insisted there had to be a reason I'm Depressed but there's not. I got better after a few months, and for a few weeks, I was fine. Perfect, even. High on life. But now I'm heading in my downwards spiral. I don't want to do anything, I can't be asked with anything. I don't want to talk or shower, eat, sleep. I'm suffering with insomnia and I can never tell when I'm hungry, which means I'm either under-eating or over-eating. My family think I'm not Depressed anymore, and I wish I wasn't, but I am. I can't drop that bombshell on them. I just.. can't. And now it's gravely affecting my attendance to school. If I miss one day off school, I'll want to miss the next day off, even if I'm perfectly fine. And the next, and the next, and the next.
As I said, there's no reason I was or am Depressed, but my therapist always said it was something to do with school or home life, considering my parent's divorce and the fact I cry whenever I get near my school gates.
But it's nothing - nothing- to do with them.
I either want to cry, listen to music or sleep. But then, I don't want to sleep, either. I'm in such wrecks and I have no idea what to do, little things will make me cry, like if I can't fold my trousers correctly, or solve out one little sum, or fit everything into a draw, or even clean something correctly. My attendance to school is going downhill, no one knows I'm Depressed, and I'm really starting to hate everything about me.
I know this isn't a question, but I just needed to post this somewhere.