derpession

[wishfullthinker67]

i'm an eighteen year old and have just entered my last year in high school. I have now come to terms with the fact that I am depressed and have been for a while. Depression runs in my family; both my grandmother and my uncle suffer from extreme depression while another uncle is bi-polar. I have a very bad relationship with my mother. she is verbally abusive towards me and makes me feel crap and unworthy. I think its the way she was brought up. She has never once told me she loved me but has made me cry almost every single day of my life. whats worse is that I'm used to it. And now i dont even feel so bad anymore because its so routine. I feel especially bad for my younger brother who is only 7 and is already angry at the world and acts out constantly. its the way my mother treats him. and i have learnt to behave in the same way :(  I have nobody to talked to because a went back a grade and all my friends from my class have left for university. I have not made any friends in my new class. It's been a year. I feel alone. All the time. So alone that I had to resort to writing on this blog. I also have no confidence or self-asteem whatsoever and am painfully shy. i feel ugly and weird and misunderstood. anyways, im depressed and need help. BTW i live in a country where depression is a taboo topic and where there aren't many specialists that i can talk to- so therapy isn't really a viable option. WHAT DO I DOO :(

[meniere135]

I  will be more than happy to talk with you.  Just leave me a message and I'll get back to you.  I spent about 20 minutes typing out a response ro your post and then my computer went down and I lost the post.  FRUSTRATING!  So please contact me and I'll talk with you!  

[puzzledwife82]

dear wishfulthinker,
Don't let others around you make you feel as your not special or important!!  You are a special person and the most important person of all loves you, God.  I do suffer from depression from time to time.  i will go through spells where it seems to linger for quite a while, but then i have to remind myself of all that I should be thankful for.  I have my health, place to live, food to eat, and much much more.  i don't know if you believe in God, but he can help you through this. He is always there for me, sometimes I just don't listen.  God works through you in many ways!! I hope that you make it through this tough time in your life, and I know that if you will seek God, he will walk along side you!!! Good luck to you!!