i feel as though i'm constantly lying to myself

[hellofriendz]

earlier, i was looking for information on when derealization gets better and when i found out it may not i got upset but then i got mad at myself because i don't want to have derealization. and i'd become depressed but tell myself there are people who actually have depression and i don't (i've been diagnosed) and i'm being inconsiderate. i constantly feel like i'm drowning in gravy and existentialism and i want to be happy. i keep doubting myself and it isn't making things better. help

[specialmom]

Since you've officially been diagnosed, what does your treatment consist of?