im fighting.

[dyingxonxthexinside]

Have you ever experienced a pain that seemed to reach deep within your soul?
So deep that no one can touch it?
That no medication can cure it?
It feels like there's a void in your life that can't be filled.
And with each passing day your soul cries out in misery,
As it slowly dies in a dark pool of inner demons,
That are gradually coming out as the victors to this cruel game,
Known as life.
I'm fighting.
But I don't know how long I can keep pushing away my demons,
As my desire to be completely consumed by them - To end it all -
Grows with each day I keep to myself.
The pain,
The misery,
The depression,
Haunts me,
Greeting me at every turn.
I've been hurt,
Lied to,
Betrayed,
Taken advantage of;
And no matter how I try,
I can't fully forgive anyone that has done so.
I have many friends,
Yet none.
I am supposedly loved,
But I am numb of feeling.
There are people who are willing to listen,
But can never fully comprehend my tortured cries.
I push away those who care,
As I'm afraid to let anyone pass my fortress that has taken years to build.
Years of free-falling tears,
Memories better off left under the obscure covers,
Angry and bitter words that can slice through anything, (especially me)
Suppressed feelings that no one should ever have to know and feel.
There are times when I believe that if I die,
No one would care.
I'll just be another tombstone in the overflowing cemetery.
I'll just be another statistic.
But I will be another less mouth to feed.
I will be freeing space for a worthier person.
I will be freeing the world of such a burden.
You could give my clothes to the Salvation Army.
Donate my organs to those in need.
Sell my things for money or give them away.
Burn my drawings and photography for warmth.
I am a ******* that will surely burn in hell.
I am sorry to those who I've wronged,
I am too cowardly to say it in person.
To those that I love,
don't worry,
it's not like you could have done anything.
You know me.

[dyingxonxthexinside]

(:

[Arsia]

I don't think so. It makes me feel less alone, and like someone else understands what I feel.

[dyingxonxthexinside]

I know but this could make someone else feel sad and suicidal.

[Arsia]

No, you shouldn't. I'm glad you posted this. This is the internet - you can do whatever you want and no one can tell you any different. Your parents don't affect you here. Post what you want to post, feel what you want to feel. Here you are free.

[dyingxonxthexinside]

i should stop. sorry

[Arsia]

I love your writing. It's so powerful.