pointless?!

[darksky23]

I'm 16 years old girl and I think I'm depressed. I feel like there is no reason for me to live anymore. (I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes, English is not my native language). I don’t enjoy doing anything I used to like, and nothing is important to me anymore. My grades are constantly dropping because I can't concentrate, I stopped hanging out with my friends, and I have troubles sleeping.
Though, the thing that bothers me the most is that I have no feelings. I am not even sad. I wish I was sad because then I would had something to complain about. Even cutting stopped being affective (which is a good thing I guess (:  ).  Everything is just pointless, and it makes me feel like death is the best option, but then again I don’t want to commit a suicide. I have been thinking of that for years but I wouldn't do it.
My parents sent me to therapy at the beginning of the year because they said I became withdraw, as if I was a stranger in their home, but I stopped after 2 sessions because it was too hard for me. I don’t want to be back there, but I don’t know what else to do.
I don’t know if that’s depression. It has been like that for a long time, but not worse. Perhaps dysthymia?      

[hummingbirdT]

It is obvious you meet criteria for depression and need to get medical advice, preferably from a psychiatrist, who knows more about the effects and interactions of the many classifications of anti-depression drugs. One thing you can do on your own is get plenty of sun; if not living in a sunny climate, buy a full spectrum light box that emits 10,000 luxes of light. You can buy these on line. There are a great many people who just have seasonal affective disorder, which puts them in a down mood; however, your depression sounds more serious. Good luck! Get thee to a therapist who is a doctor and take their medical advice. There is no reason to feel this way and you will get better!

[littlebit667]

Sometimes the hard things are worth the pain.  Your parents sending you to therapy is a win.  There are many parents who run from these problems and your parents seem to want to meet it head on.  Hurray for them.  It was probably too hard, because you are afraid and fear is hard to deal with.  Maybe it was the wrong therapist...it often takes 6 times or so before you can get a feel for whether it will work or not with them.  

I have been to good and bad therapists and when it works it is wonderful (for me).  I do not want to dismiss your fears, but if you are unhappy..maybe you need to rethink therapy.  

You can choose to continue to be miserable or you can choose to get help.  It is a choice.  Therapy will help (with the right therapist) but you have to give it time to work.  And it is work.  But, I promise it is worth it.

Dysthmia (here is one site info on it)

Dysthymia is a mild, but chronic, form of depression. Dysthymia (dis-THI-me-uh) symptoms usually last for at least two years, and often for much longer than that.

Although dysthymia symptoms may be less intense than those of depression, dysthymia can actually affect your life more seriously because it lasts for so long. With dysthymia, you may lose interest in normal daily activities, feel hopeless, lack productivity and have a low self-esteem. People with dysthymia are often thought of as being overly critical, constantly complaining and incapable of having fun.


By your description, this may be one way of looking at your concerns and depression.


Please reconsider therapy.  If it was hard, maybe it was working but you were not there long enough to see the other side.  Your English is great, you have a great command of it.  I can tell you are probably very smart!  :)