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psychosis or spiritual awakening??? help

edit- I know ive written a lot but please please could u read it n help me I cant talk to anyone else... xx
where do I start..i constantly feel that people are getting brainwashed by watching tv ,going to school. all the celebrity's aren't even real theyre a clone or a puppet who have been made to brain wash us, I completely believe in the 5g theory n that the radiation levels are to make it easier to control us. social media is dumbing us down as well as schools , they make us do the same thing throughout our life's ,if you don't you get arrested. lifes an illusion , is life a simulation? are we in a video game n the hierarchy are laughing at us. what's real n whats not. cameras are watching us everywhere meaning the government. I watch conspiracy's all the time and I fully believe them. people call that delusional. all of this is so-called psychosis, believing stuff that's not real, well not all of it this just personal experience. but I speak to my mum about it and she convinces me its a spiritual awakening and that I've been enlightened , she says some of the stuff I think is silly though. im 16 years old. and scared. mum says I shouldn't tell people about It because id probly get sectioned because the workers like therapists ect doctors are apart of it n have been moulded into what the hierarchy want them to be so obviously if everything I'm saying is true they wouldn't want that to be out in the open so they will section me for 'mental health' . I spoke to my mate about it and she goes through exactly what I go through we think the exact same the stuff we cut each other off when talking about it, if this was a mental health disorder then how can we think the exact same stuff? depression is a mental health disorder but its different for each individual just like any other mental health. I also think drugs make u see the real world that's why theyre illegal me and my mate have both done drugs and I dunno came out with the same outcome I guess.i think everything I think makes complete sense obviously I haven't really explained it properly here . but it started like a year ago maybe ,when I was in care n I used to write everything down but it never helped it made it worse used to freak me out, I had a therapist at the time but I spoke about different stuff because this is too 'crazy' . then I just stopped thinking about it in depth but if something happened like that made me think about it id become really anxious when im out with my friends , I would just switch off n stop socializing n stop talking. obviously ive wrote a lot here I didn't mean to but I hope someone will answer me because I would really like some help it is getting worse n worse. one more thing who remembers when Jim Carrey got classed as being 'crazy' because he was talking about life n the illuminati ect, everything he says before I heard him I thought all of that stuff , it makes complete sense. he's not crazy at all that's what they want you to believe. all of this is a theory ,people put 'conspiracy' infront of theory to make it seem untrue but it is just and idea that isn't rtrue or false . so is the big bang THEORY just an idea.
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Avatar universal
Well, that's a lot of stuff you packed into a small space, so you've proven so far that you're a very thoughtful person.  But there is a difference between conspiracy theories, which aren't in fact true, and speculation about things we have no answers for yet.  The fact you believe in something doesn't make it true or even possibly true.  So some intellectual rigor would be a good thing for you to look into -- a healthy skepticism works both ways, in that it allows you to test the expressed thoughts of others but also of yourself.  The 5g thing is just wrong.  It is a genuine conspiracy theory.  People trying to brainwash you isn't a conspiracy theory, that's true in the sense people are constantly trying to get others to believe what they want them to believe or what they themselves believe because humans are insecure and like company.  You're trying to persuade us with your post that your theories are correct just as you perceive correctly that others are trying to get you to think like them.  Now, this is a lot for someone your age, you're too young at this point to have accumulated enough learning to know about the evolution of human thought.  In the western world we had a period called the Enlightenment that totally changed how most of us think about our world.  People started questioning superstition and authority, and that remains today.  Others have never accepted the Enlightenment, and you can see this most clearly in orthodox religious thinkers who hold on to beliefs about how things happen that science has proven to be false.  At some point, you have to proceed from belief to proof if you want to try to settle some of the things you think about.  So it's great to think about things, that's what makes scholars and writers and truly creative people.  It's not great to just believe stuff because you saw it somewhere.  So I agree with Mom above that you might want to consult a therapist again due to the anxiety part of what you're saying, but therapy won't help you if you aren't honest with your therapist.  You have to open up.  As to being sectioned, can't speak to that, but if you're not a danger to yourself or others that isn't likely to happen.  So let's look at some of your stuff.  You're very young and use drugs.  Your brain isn't fully developed yet, so best to wait for that kind of thing until it is.  But you can't generalize so much -- sometimes you do see things more clearly on drugs and mostly you don't see things as they actually are at all on them.  But there's another question you are struggling with at a younger age than most of us do, which is, what is real?  It's not a bad question.  Life doesn't actually make a whole lot of sense, which is why living things are programmed not to think about such things a whole lot.  I say this just to reassure you, thinking about things isn't a bad thing.  Making yourself nuts thinking about things is.  And conspiracy theories are always bad ideas to get involved with, as they are always by definition wrong.  If they were right, they wouldn't be conspiracy theories.  It's hard being 16 and having these kinds of thoughts, but it's who you are.  So use it to learn.  If you're unsure about 5g, see how it actually works, how the radiation isn't what you think it is, and you've been living with 4g all this time anyway.  It's faster but not as different as you're convincing yourself it is.  This is the difference between thinking and reasoning, and just accepting.  It's really hard to be a thinking and reasoning person.  It's easier to just accept.  But not better.  In short, chill.
Helpful - 1
Thank you so much for this I'll have a deep thought on what you just said n then I'll write a reply thanks again! x
973741 tn?1342342773
I'm not a conspiracy thinking person.  I think stress and anxiety makes us more susceptible to such thoughts.   I won't debunk all of your theories, I don't have to.  Time usually does that.  :>)  To me, you sound like you have a tremendous amount of anxiety.  You are young and I think some racing thoughts and our mind going in different directions and a lot of curiosity, questioning and wondering about things goes with your age.  But if it stems from anxiety, it might be beneficial to find a professional to talk to.  My son is 16 and sees a counselor.  It's helpful.  He can keep things in perspective and helps him strategize to keep his anxiety in check.  I think it helps to have a good friend to run our theories and mind's wanderings by and chat with.  Someone with like thinking can be helpful.  Any friends interested in talking about this stuff with you on the phone or something if you can't get together with friends right now?  
Helpful - 0
Yeah I get you, I had a therapist before and I think that's what has made me think more about myself I am such a worried and after seeing a therapist I was like omg this is wrong with and this do you know what I mean but before I didn't have one there was absolutely nothing wrong with me and now I think u have every mental health there is ,struggling so much x
Also thanks for replying:)
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