what do i do?

[madie731]

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hi my name is Maddie, i am 18 years old i turn 19 in December. i am about to finish my first semester at tangaza college (in Nairobi Kenya). I start my exams next week. i am a doing a certificate program me. meaning i will finish next year may. To be honest, i hate this college. I am doing youth studies which includes psychology and addictive behavior.  I am thinking about discontinuing my studies when my finish these exams. My mental issues have really affected my studies, i have learned that psychology and helping the youth isn't my path or in my blood. so even when i Finnish this course i will not use this, because when i am done i wanted to major in fashion full time. That is the only thing in the world where i feel i can be somebody. I cant make it next semester, any way im just an average student. I also checked that i have BPD and my counselor said i worry too much (anxiety). Next semester i have to do a research on qualitative, i wont have enough time and they load us with s many courses. My anxiety and panic attacks got worse because of this.  besides the course on qualitative data i did this semester i just got an F on the test and a C on the assignments that count i don't know about the propsoal though, but it wont matter these hard things don't go with me as a person. Im tired, stressed. and i get nauseous so much, its hard to eat. the headaches are bad as well. I self harm alot. So i just need help on my decision, should my discontinue and move to something where i think i may be happy?. Thank you.

[madie731]

thank you so much for the help :) it seems that i cant drop out because the school wont allow that. Technically because im doing the 1 year certificate. if i was doing a degree they would have allowed. i think i will drop some courses next year to make it lighter. I will tell them because of my mental and physical health. I really hope i make it by May. Thank you so much :) i really appreciate it :). Madeleine.