Aa
what is wrong with me?
why do I always mess things up?, I always aim for goals that are almost impossible. I am just the wrong girl in the family, I am not a nice person. Well I thought I was a really good person but I am not. Heck, I cant even take care of myself, I wouldn't survive if there was a zombie apocalypse like the video game THE LAST OF US. I am soo talkative and gullible. I really want to study in Johannesburg next year but I don't even know if I am responsible enough to live on my own. I can barely cook. Since I am such a weirdo I doubt I will have any friends. Recently I realised I hate my body so I eat twice a day. its actually really helping. Is it healthy?. This afternoon, I really thought of suicide, but I will go to hell. I really need help. I have never expressed my pain like this.
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I am sorry to hear about your medical problems. Please consult your school/college counselor urgently. Kudos to you for reaching out to us! Similarly talk to your parents or a school counselor or a therapist. Your feels come from low self-confidence, insecurities and partly from depression and anxiety. Sometimes counseling alone helps. They will help you set realistic goals which you can achieve, help you realize your self-worth (which believe me is a lot!), and show you ways to remain happy. Everyone is good in something. The trick is to realize that and pursue it. Please talk to someone responsible whom you can trust (best would be to talk to your parents and a counselor). Take care!
The medical advice given should not be considered a substitute for medical care provided by a doctor who can examine you. The advice may not be completely correct for you as the doctor cannot examine you and does not know your complete medical history. Hence this reply to your post should only be considered as a guiding line and you must consult your doctor at the earliest for your medical problem.