Answers

[LittleGirl18]

Im 18 years old with a beautiful home with my boyfriend, we been trying to get pregnant for almost 6 months now i been to a doctors but they said wait a little longer then come back, well i have really irregular periods they are all over the place they last for 5 to 6 days and 3 to 4 days and sometimes they are a full regular period that lasts up to 7 days and the time apart are like 22 days 24 days and 27 days to 33 days i have no idea when im suppose to ovulate please help.. thank you.

[remar]

Oliversmommy. Can I please ask what myself or my daughter said that was hypocritical? My daughter is 35, no children, extremely well educated, takes care of herself and has a job on top of her volunteer work.
I married her father, we are still married. We worked  very hard to take care of our child without any kind of help. So, I do not see where we could have been hypocritical in any way.

[LittleGirl18]

Thanks :)

[oliversmommy2013]

Im eighteen as of right now with a beautiful baby boy on the way. (: Me and my fiancee have been together for 3 years now an didnt mean to get pregnant. But we have our own place and are doing great. Im young but so ready. And you will be too. My advice if you really want a baby now get an ovulation kit and talk abt your future with your boyfriend. You dont have to get married but.in my opinion its.better. Good luck and dont listen to all those hypocrites! Oh im 24 weeks.and just quit smokin tonight. Its very hard!!!

[remar]

I understand that the UK is different as far as health care. That's great. Everyone can get medical care. It is different here in the states though. Medicaid is taken out of our taxes.
I really don't want to upset anyone on this forum. That is not my intention. I would just like to see very young girls think hard and long about having a baby. I've seen too many young girls get pregnant, the guy leaves, they live off the government, resent the baby. I care very much about children. My daughter does too. She does a lot of volunteer work for children of unwed mothers. We truly only want what's best for you girls. To have a happy and fulfilling life.  

[AmyUK89]

Remar.... Not every teen ends up with post-natal depression... plus many 'adult' women get it too..

And for me, school finishes at the age of 15/16.... unless you stay on at sixthform - if so thats untill 18... and even then, thats optional...

I also know ALOT of teen mums who have gone on to have multiples and are still with the father and work etc...

Also here in the UK, medical care is free!

[remar]

If you come to a public forum asking for advise you're going to get it. My daughter and I have every right to be here and give advice. This forum is not meant to give teen girls advice on how to get pregnant by the way. We do not have old fashioned ideas. Every child deserves a good home and a stable environment. Honestly, please tell me how many of you teen moms are still with the fathers. have finished school,are not depending on your family for support, or the government for help. I pay taxes and so does my daughter. People in my family go without medical care sometimes because we can not afford it. You teen girls decide it would be fun to have a baby and you know you and that baby will not go without food or medical care. All because of us tax payers. I honestly do care about all of you girls here and the babies too. I just do not understand the need to have kids in your teens when you are not ready. Do your research girls, please. See if the father stays, see how hard it's going to be on you and that baby, see how many teen moms have depression and resentment towards their babies. If you truly want to have a baby as a teen and take care of it all on your own with no help then go for it. If you do, then get back to me in a few years to let me know how things are going. It is the hardest job you will ever have. A baby is not a doll. It is a living little human being who needs and deserves all of your time. I will come to this forum because I have the right to, just like all of you do. I would like to ask where your parents are? Why as a teen are you being allowed to go out and have sex and sometimes end up pregnant? Why are you not in school working on a good future?

[AmyUK89]

I agree with what you said.. who asked them... shes a young woman who asked for help... Not to get moan at and brain washed by people that have 'old fashioned' views... if she can provide love and support to a child then who cares about money etc... my parents wernt exactly rich... they got by etc.. and me and my brother turned out alright... :)

And thanks hun :) xx

[9char_maine4]

You tell em !  Lol  I know I am not very experienced but I agree with you and its her life. They said they were sick of trying to convince girls not to get pregnant but who asked them? She wanted help not.judgment or to be told what to do. And I am sorry about what happened to you.

[AmyUK89]

I think Iboogie and remar need to shut the hell up... Its up to her if she wants a child at the age of 18... I fell pregnant at 17, but was forced to terminate it because my boyfriend at the time was abussive, trying to give me a m/c etc.. and even to this day...6/7 years on I regret it... I took a life when i was adamant that i would be the best mum ever but i let other people rule me!! and now im with a new partner and its taking us a while to concieve..

If i knew then what i know now.. there would be a 6 year old child I would be taking care of!!

so all i can say is go ahead with having a baby hun, if im honest, younger parents do better jobs as they are understanding etc..

[lboogie7735]

Ask for advice in a public forum and you are not always going to get the answer you want. Because this is a public forum my mom and I are tired of having this same conversation over and over with 13-19 year olds because our tax dollars end up paying for these babies, but girls are convinced they're 'ready'. When you can afford to take care of yourself you can do anything you want. Education will take you places, typically not to message boards like this asking for advice on how to get pregnant. Sorry we aren't the cheering squad you hoped for.

[LittleGirl18]

I have patience im just sicks of hearing what you guys have to say.. im done with it.. like i said  i wont have a kid. alright. bye..

[lboogie7735]

You are this aggravated with a conversation about the responsibility of having kids? I question whether you think you have the patience for a screaming, crying baby right now? Read the comments my mom and I made again. We don't tell people not to have kids. We just suggest that your slow you roll for all of the reasons stated and think long and hard before you make THE biggest decision, one that will affect 3 lives.

[LittleGirl18]

FINE I WONT HAVE A FREAKKING BABY THEN! DAMN OK is that what you wanna hear?

[lboogie7735]

That's exactly what I was thinking mom. I wonder what they will think at age 21 or 25 or 30, or even 35 like ME! So old! :) I never said don't have a kid. I said from what I have witnessed, and lived through, it is a wise choice to wait until later in life to bring a baby into this world.

[remar]

My daughter lboogie is just trying to give you advice, and it is extremely good advice. She is trying to tell you how very hard it is to raise a child. It is expensive, it is very time consuming. If just some of the young girls here would read what we've written and think, maybe I should wait, maybe I should get and education, get married, have a home, a car, insurance, money in the bank. It would be great. My daughter is right. ALL of the teen girls we know that are pregnant or have children are on assistance and that comes out of the taxes we pay. So, we feel like we have a right to say something because our money is being used to raise these children. It really boils down to us caring about these children and what kind of life they're going to have. I won't because you are set on having a baby. I would love to see you print these comments out though and in a year or so, when ever you do have a baby, take them out and read them.

[LittleGirl18]

Ummm Ok? come on i was looking for some answers and your telling me not to get pregnant. TF? im 18 years old my boyfriend is 20 i am ready to be a mother.. no doubt about that... nobody can change my mind this is what i want i know what im getting into... sooo dont try to talk me out of it.

[lboogie7735]

With age comes life experience, and responsibility. Age is a huge factor if you are not even grown enough to be out on your own which the one girl says she is not. Both still smoke. A 17 or 18 year old that cannot even give up smoking, (which I did after smoking for 20 years, on my own) is a perfect indication that they have work to do on themselves, first. Like I said, you got your own place, a solid career, money in the bank, a place with your name on it, be my guest, have at it. Still living at home, smoking, not able to commit to a relationship for life? You are kidding yourself if you think this will be easy. Age IS a factor. I was a pretty smart cookie at 18, but I am like freaking Yoda at 35 with all I have lived through, dealt with and witnessed. Ask my mom. At 18, she had a 2 year old (me), a husband (celebrating 36 years of marriage next month), a house, a car, help in the form of a 'safe' babysitter' with my grandma and aunt, and life was STILL a struggle! That's probably because we took no help from the government. Any of you ladies on here can say that? That you are, or plan, to do this without any assistance? Than, again, AGE IS RELEVANT!
I don't understand this fascination with making babies. Do you all have nothing else to do with your lives? I mean that very sincerely. What else to you plan to do with your life and what kind of person do you expect your child to be? I can see why my mom gets so infuriated being on these boards feeling like she is talking to a brick wall. She lived it, and I am the walking talking proof! Just because YOU want it, don't think the kid is going to be happy that you drug it into this world before the right time. Just because you BELIEVE something, it does not make it so. Okay? My beliefs have changed radically over the years, but then again I am a very introspective, insightful person who is always trying to learn and be a better person. I am just ashamed at the generation that is so representative of mediocrity. Kids that aren't very bright, having kids that likewise will not be very bright more than likely. I see it as the dumbing down of the world really, not just America. Read some statistics. The more educated you are, the less likely you are to have a child at a young age which almost always results in a follow up kid right behind that one. You are more likely to live in poverty and need government assistance if you have a child at a young age. Educated people all over the world are holding off on having kids till later in life because they are in the 'REAL' world where they have to pay for everything themselves and they see how unaffordable it is to feed another mouth. They are choosing to have only one child, or like me, none at all. I just think it is the most selfish thing to put your own wants and needs (those of an 18 year old no less!) ahead of that of a human being that could have a better life if you all could just relax and find something productive to do with your time until nature takes it's course. What if you don't have a baby? Then what? Is that the end of the world? Is that all you have to offer? You girls seem bent on limiting yourselves and your children's futures, but you just don't see it that way. Do you know how many woman die in childbirth across the world? Watch a documentary called "Half the Sky", see how it is all over the planet and then tell me about your first world problems of not being able to conceive at 18 freaking years old. I shake my head because Americans are so into themselves. LittleGirl18, you said your boyfriend wants to talk about getting married? There you have it. Someone in the situation sees that you don't just 'make' babies, you 'raise families'. Sorry to sound so hostile but I've been on birth control for 20 years and I'll never stop advocating for those of us who had it rough because our parents were too d*mn young!

[yourstruly21]

I honestly dont see age as a factor if yu truly believe yu are ready....I am only 18 and pregnant with my first and im beyond ready, although I am married I dont see that as being relevant....but like others have said just let it happen...it took me over a year and it happened the one month I sincerely was not trying

Dont give up it will happen in its own time

[lboogie7735]

I just sincerely do not understand the rush. You are still changing as a person yourself. What you want now, in terms of what you do for a living, where you live, who you want to spend you time with, who you are as a person, will probably be different at 18 than it is when you are 25. You haven't lived long enough to have the breadth of experience that an older parent can bring to the situation. My cousin had a baby at 18 and she turned out to be so premature she was 1.6lbs at birth. He and the baby's mom spent the first 4 or 5 months of Kyla's young life at the hospital. They had been together for 3 years at that point, lived together, were engaged, and let me tell you, things changed. Have a kid with someone you are not married to and you are going to have very little say in what goes on when it's their turn to have the kid, if you two are no longer together. My parents are the ONLY teenage parents I know who have stayed together. ALL of the other kids I know born to teenage parents have been on some sort of welfare, WIC, food stamps, whatever. There have been issues with custody. You do not know what the future holds. I think there is this misconception that if you want it bad enough and you're convinced you'll love it so much, than it must be meant to be, NOW! If it's meant to be it will happen. You shouldn't have to force it. My question's are: do you have a solid education, a solid career, money in the bank in terms of savings in case of the unexpected, health insurance for yourself, your name on your place and vehicle? Who is paying for everything when the baby gets here? I am not ok with working my a$$ off to pay for teenage mother's kids when I choose to get educated and NOT have kids. Tax dollars come from people like me. If you can support the kid entirely on your own, go for it, I wish you all the luck in the world. You'll see how hard it is if it ends up that you have a baby like me (like a LOT of babies) who didn't sleep through the night for 10 months! I would just like to hear one person under the age of 20 give me a valid reason for having a kid as young as 17 or 18. There is no good reason. Statistically the odds will be against you and your baby, always. Why do that to yourself and the kid? Notice how none of you that want kids at a young age come from a 2 parent home? Think about that. Why do YOU guys think that is? I've spent many years in counseling and I would have gone into psychology if I wasn't already so burnt out on dealing with people. I see patterns and I find it disturbing that kids aren't bright enough to see them patterns in themselves and address their own issues with self esteem, identity issues, relationship issues, etc. and instead think that things will somehow be better by bringing a baby into the world. That baby might cry or be sick all the time, it may have down syndrome or autism, my point is that it is unlikely that it will be the dreamboat kids seem to think it is. I witness it everyday. Kids at the store, dragging their kids around, and a look of resentment on their face by the time that kid is 2 or 3. The parent(s) is stuck dealing with the responsibility of child rearing while their friends go off to college, get to travel, work and live wherever they want. What is so wonderful about having a baby so young? It's usually a huge sign that there is a void in your life, something is missing. I'm telling you, making another person will make life harder on everyone. Get an education, make the world a better place! Don't be a statistic. Aren't you all capable of more than that? ANYONE can squeeze out a kid, that is no great accomplishment I assure you. If you are really "SET" in life, than you shouldn't need any government handouts to have and raise the babies you all seem to want so badly. Right?!?! You should be grown and responsible enough to do it on your own. So if the dad leaves are you going back home to your parents and get on food stamps, how are you working out day care, and schooling later on? Think! That's all I'm saying, think really hard about the biggest decision you can make in your life. Once it's here there's no taking it back, and it may look at you one day like I used to do to my parents and say "I didn't ask to be here, you fix this!". Good luck ladies. Just my .02, as the voice of 'children of teenage parents', and the witness and relative of many.

[LittleGirl18]

Thanks 9char_maine4

[9char_maine4]

By the sounds of it LittleGirl18 feels that her and her hubby are ready for this. They may not be 25 - 30 years old but they obviously have a stable relationship and feel that they are ready to become parents. It is not like they are 13 - 16 trying to get pregnant shes 18 and most countrys/states thats considered to be an adult. Just because they are not planning on getting married right away doesnt mean that they never will. My mom and biological father are not together he became abusive so she left, she raised two children (at a young age) that were both babies by herself for three years. She met my step dad and they have been together since. they have still not gotten married (yet, my dad wants to when they get a new house) but both me and my brother turned out fine. Your parents dont have to be married and they dont have to be your biological parents. Kids become who they become because of their enviroment and their experiences. just an opnion lol no means to offend anyone :)

[LittleGirl18]

Yeah thanks for commenting..

[remar]

I agree with everything my daughter, lboogie wrote. Can you see now how hard it is to have a child at any age, let alone being a teen? You have your whole life ahead of you and plenty of time to have children. We really are not trying to get on to you because we can not make you change your mind if you don't want to. We come to these forums because we have experience and we care so much. I have 3 nephews and between them they have 10 children. None of them are married. They don't see their children most of the time, if at all. It's really sad. No child deserves that. And yes, we do help out with the children when we can. We really do care and that's why we commented on your post. It would be great to see you go to college, get married, have a career and then have children. Something to really think about. Every child deserves the best life possible.

[lboogie7735]

Hi, I'm remar's daughter Tara. She had me the day after she turned 16, my dad was 19, and they were married. They worked incredibly hard and needed the help of my aunt and grandma to babysit while they both worked so we could have a house, transportation and a private education for me. I am incredibly fortunate in the fact that my parents were extremely mature at young ages due to some pretty serious issues they had already dealt with in their own lives. My mom lost her father, grandmother and cousin in the year leading up to my birth. My dad's father had recently been diagnosed with cancer and was dealing with an amputation that gave him serious medical problems his whole life.
I came and I was their world, they loved me more than anything. You know what? My life was STILL incredibly difficult. Neither of my parents were old enough to have seen their own issues with mental illness and addiction manifest yet. They didn't realize they had created a baby with lots of inherited traits like an anxiety disorder and my father's alcoholism, to name a few. I'm 35 now and I've been sober 2 years and 7 months after drinking for 20 years. Next week I'll celebrate 3 years since I quit smoking, another 20 year habit. I have a college education, that I obtained after dropping out of high school and being a professional partier. My life was an absolute mess from a young age for a long time.
I was raised not to take government assistance, and I never have. My parents were really amazing parents, but they both know how hard it was on me growing up in an environment that wasn't totally stable and wasn't totally solid yet. I don't mean financially. Your relationship will change with your boyfriend, time, and life, will test it. Life is incredibly unpredictable. If you are willing to make a lifetime commitment to a child I would think you would want it to be WITH the person you want in your life as your committed partner. I have a friend who decided to keep her baby from a relationship with someone she wasn't going to stay with. He got cancer, and he died this summer at 4 years old. She was a 36 year old, single mother. No one could have predicted that is what she would be facing by taking on parenthood, but you never know at any age. I think she would have already lost her mind by now if she were younger and dealing with this alone. The odds are much more in your favor raising a child with 2 parents. I know, I am the only child of teenage parents, and yes I am so glad that made the commitment to stay together and look out for 'us' as a 'family'. I don't have kids, never been married, and that's unlikely to change, I chose a different route because I felt the ramifications of the responsibility of young parenthood, and I wanted no part of it for myself.
Life is incredible, there is a big world out there. Try not to limit yourself by taking on too much too soon and thereby burdening a child with that. It limits what is possible for them too. I wish you the best.