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5944308 tn?1396478749

Topic week 3

Hello all sorry for fallng so far behind ive been busy.... anyway lets see what kind of topic for this week.....Lets get into emotions

Topic: After getting clean what are your views on your life when you where using... what Made you use...how where you stuck in the  cycle.... ect...
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Avatar universal
LETS See...I hated myself...I had to stop cutting so I tried soma..9 to be exact with a pint of vodka!! I melted into the floor. I wanted to live and I thought that parting was living...Then i enjoyed the numbness...and the NOT having to deal with my past. My mom died and it used harder...my dad got sick and I didnt want to be like that but I was scared of w/d. Going to jail woke me up. i found MH and with support I got clean.....I went through horrible things that I needed to go through to find God and get clean...I am not just off pills but coke crack and molly...I love everyone here and Glad i found this place and stayed!!!
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Avatar universal
I started playing God. I honestly believed the pills were for my family. My bipolar makes my emotions unpredictable, and I had to provide for my kids no matter my mood. I used to retreat before kids, the pills helped my emotions seem more balanced, I could push through no matter what. My back pain progressed as I aged as well. It started off a few here and there, and progressed to 250mgs methadone. A few respiratory arrests and my family giving up on me made me realize my original intention was lost.

The pattern I was in ran deep. I felt like I was in a nightmare, I knew what was going on but had no control over what happened next. I offered to take an alcoholic friend to AA, made an appointment with a sub doctor, and started searching for as much support as I could find. That is when I found medhelp. My emotions are far less stable than on opiates, but my clear moments are letting me deal with my other issues in a real way. This is a never ending progression.
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5944308 tn?1396478749
All right to get this party started ......What got me into drugs was working with my wifes horses and she would give me a pill ever now and then if I got hurt....I then moved to getting my own perscription from a doctor...which led to a long road of going through them running out of pills and living for the refill and if it would come... not fun. what kept me using was the fear of the withdrawal which is what I heard alot of people afraid of..wasnt as bad as you make it in your head. almost loosing my family is what led me to getting off the pills for good..so im just glad for this chance and these people on here I love you all.. Have an awesome day.
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