What can I do to help my Fiance who has Graves Disease

[7Papi4]

My fiance and I have been together for over 4 yrs. it wasn't until this past year she found out she had Graves Disease. Now like most couples we have had our problems but year and a half it was getting worse. She would snap at me for silly things, the way I loaded dishes, the way I cleaned when I did, etc. When she went to the doctor finally is when she was diagnosed with this horrible disease. Well long story short they used a radiation pill to kill her thyroid but they have not quite got her meds correct to even her levels out. Meanwhile she can have a real nasty attitude and say very hurtful things. This past June she moved out with no warning to me but told her parents that she  had signed  a lease on an apartment. Her parents were not happy at all. Needless to say her and I have been going through a lot we have been seeking couples counseling and though its not easy when we are working on our relationship things will go great for a little while and then its back to yelling, she has told me a few times we were over and didnt want to work things out but I wont give up. Her family has noticed a big change in her since she was diagnosed with this and its sad because she was so loving and caring at first. I sometimes dont even know she is with these anger fits. We had just last week looked into having a house built, we were looking for land, planning out our wedding and talking about kids. everything seemed back to normal. This past weekend was a total 360. she had gotten very angry at me and went off on her brother who currently lives with me until she decides to come back home. when she texted me telling me that she went off on him for something that happened I was being sympathetic and understanding, what I did not know was after going off on him she called her mother and got into with her and her mother just had to hang up. while talking to me she posted on facebook about a board game she was interested in, I happen to see it left work and found the last one they had. I posted on her comment that I had found it. We joked (at least I was joking) saying she had to buy her own but was kidding. next thing I know she is telling me she doesnt want to work this out she is done. I cant tell if she is for real or if in fact its the Graves. She doesnt see her doctor until the 23rd but she already knows her levels are off. Her parents and family have said that she is not the person she was and that we al wish for her to come back. Im looking for advice as to what to do if anyone can help me. Please  

[cmropen]

Graves disease can be really hard on a relationship and it's great you're here and interested in solving things. She's likely going through a lot herself. Reading around in other forums, partners have commented that looking back on things, they wish they found support earlier.

So maybe it's worth looking into a spouse support group for Graves/hyperthyroidism/autoimmune disease, or one who partners of people with chronic illness. Maybe the Graves Disease Foundation can give you info or her doctor or the local hospital. Either way, you dont have to go through this alone.

Sometimes it can help to be around other who "get it" and can understand the struggles you're facing as well as offer advice.

[gimel]

Start with patience and understanding that your fiance has gone through a traumatic time, with the Graves Disease and RAI.  Now it is very likely that her thyroid levels, and others, are not optimal and she is suffering with hypothyroid symptoms.  I say that on the assumption that the RAI was adequate and effective, and that she is no longer hyper.  

When hypothyroid, there is a long list of symptoms that may be related.  From the long list, the following are just those that are related to emotion.

    Tension
    Irritability
    Wanting to be solitary
    Mood swings
    Anxiety
    Personality changes
    Feelings of resentment
    Jumpy
    Easily startled
    Lack of confidence
    Nervousness

So I think a good place to start would be for us to have a look at her thyroid related test results post RAI.  Also, what thyroid med and dosage is she taking?