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1876121 tn?1320470106

my wife wanted to leave me 3 weeks ago and was today told she has hyperthyroidism

my wife has slowly become completely emotionally distanced from me for the last couple months and it the last 3 weeks told me first that she didnt love me any more, then she wanted to work on it, then she just said she just said that so i didnt feel bad and she didnt want to be with me anymore and had no desire to work on it then we had a couple good days that we got along ok but then i noticed she wasnt wearing her wedding ring so i questioned her about it and it came out that she likes someone else she has now been texting back and forth with this guy for a week(she just said likes and that she didnt tell him how she felt).  i insisted that she go see a doctor because i thought there had to be some kind of hormone problem or something because we have a 9mo. old baby and she is still breastfeeding,  they did a blood test and found that she has an overactive thyroid today.  i am prepared to do whatever it takes to make this work i love her more than life its self. ( aside form my children of course).  the thing that concerns me is that she only seems to be detatching from me is that normal for this disease i NEED to know if its the disease or if she really doesnt love me if she is supposed to be emotionally unavailable shouldnt it be with everyone or not this thing about this other guy is killing me and i need to know if this is characteristic of the disease or not.  just at a total loss and dont know what to do or what steps to take to deal with this. please help???    :-(
33 Responses
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Avatar universal
After a thyroidectomy the person requires a full daily replacement dosage of thyroid hormone to feel and act normal.  There is a lot to discuss, but let's start by reviewing a couple of things.  First please tell us about any other symptoms she had, that you know of.  Or if possible ask her about symptoms.  You might start such a conversation by telling her that there is information that somewhere between 50 and 75 % of hypothyroid patients are not satisfied with their treatment.  The reason being that most doctors only medicate a hypo patient as needed to get TSH back within range.  That does not work for most.  Most of the time a hypo patient that is being adequately medicated with thyroid hormone will have TSH that is suppressed below range.   That is because our bodies normally function with a continuous low flow of thyroid hormone.  When taking the daily replacement thyroid med all at once, the equilibrium among TSH, FT4 and FT3 is totally changed.  So we also need to know her thyroid med and daily dosage.  

Next, please post her thyroid related test results and reference ranges shown on the lab report.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am very much in love with my wife. She is and has been my best friend and closest person for many years. Her thyroid situation brought us back together a few years ago when she had 3/4 of her thyroid removed. Since then it seems like she has slowly grown cold and distant at a constant rate. I do not think there is anybody else (god forbid). I just feel like she has lost a lot of her attraction and need for "me" personally and mentally. She doesn't seem to hear much that I say or she cuts me off before I speak assuming that she already knows what I'm gonna say most of the time. I know she loves me deep in her heart. Does this hyperthyroidism take people to this level commonly??? If so, Is there anything I can do to help the situation.  I feel like I communicatever on a positive level, but somehow she's seems offended most of the time I bring it up. Since the removal she has been dealing with a never ending barrage of illnesses. I'm am devoted to her and the future of our family.  Just wish I had my friend back again....any advise?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, just wanted to ask if your wife is better and if the relationship has improved? I'm in a very similar situation and am struggling with dealing with my partners coldness.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
I wish you the very best of luck. I am going through a divorce now. My wife has been getting treatment for a few years now. It comes and goes and you feel there's never an end. I feel as tho I done everything I could to understand and deal with the condition and would have as long as it took. One day she woke up and wanted me gone and it was over. I love her with everything in me and truly think she loves me but the disease was stronger than we could evidently handle. There's a lot of literature on line about it and would describe our life exactly but even tho she read some of it, it didn't make a difference. Try talking to her Dr. together and see if he can explain things, read, TALK, get therapy for both of you, and don't wait to see if it gets better. I wish you and your family the best.
4377725 tn?1353669665
im going throught the hyper thiroid with my wife right now also and she is driving me crazy sometimes but i love her and im sticking through this although i have wanted to end it sometimes i confront her about it and we work it out.i have known her for 27 years but we have only bean together for 1 year ,what i think you should do is confront this guy and let him know what she is going through and how much you love her and your children together ,its easy for a man to tell a woman anything to make her think the grass is greener on ther other side and vise versa what he doesnt realize is the fact that he has to keep up the game once he gets the prize,also let him know hes comitting adultry disrupting your life and family,send him some info on this disease and tell him he needs to see the whole picture before he jumps in your boat.
Helpful - 0
1670226 tn?1334252274
im sorry for your issues that your going through..i have hyperthyroid..its all mental..and it works on every part of your body..once she gets treatment..or at least she knows whats going on..she will be fine..i was a nervous wreck when i found out about my condition..but im in a better place..and she will be too..my fiance was going to leave me too..so i understand..but once i got everything in a better place i.e. i had radiation done..and so far im doing better by the grace of god..just hange in there..and love her ..and be patient with her..everything will work out..believe me..im  proof..so god bless and good luck to u and ur fmily..
Helpful - 0
1876121 tn?1320470106
i think they said 2 months im not positive though.  she seems pretty happy right now since about 3 weeks ago i started to just be extremely nice to her and clean the house and cook supper and give her massages every night and of course that seems to have helped her mood a lot.  but like i said she still seems really hesitant to show any affection back hopefully the meds will help with that. thanks for all the support everyone it has been helpful. i will keep updating.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
All your wife's labs show that she is hyperthyroid.  

TRab and TPOab are two thyroid antibodies.  Since they're both are elevated, it indicates that your wife has Graves' disease.

FT4 is very high...as you can see, the "normal" range is 0.7-1.8, and your wife's is way up at 3.4.  

Unfortunately, they didn't test FT3 (unless you didn't post it).  T3 is the most biologically active of the thyroid hormones and correlates best with symptoms.  

Uptake is also high.  What this means is that her thyroid is overactive (hyper).

TSH is low, which also indicates hyper.  TSH is counterintuitive...when it's above range, it indicates hypo, and when it's below range it can indicate hyper.

Your wife's labs are pretty far off.  I'm sure she feels terrible.  

It's impossible to tell you if the dose is correct.  We all react differently to meds, which is why they put us on a starting dose, then retest and reevaluate symptoms and make adjustments.  Sometimes, they have to change dose at that point.  Treating thyroid disease is a process.

When is she due for more labs?

Helpful - 0
1876121 tn?1320470106
ok here's the results...
  uptake test:  normal-4 hrs. 10-15% hers- 28%    normal 24hrs. 20-30% her was 45.5%
  TRAB:      11 IU/L         limit 1.75 IU/L
  TPO:        182 UI/mL            <9
  FT4R:       3.4 ng/dL             0.7-1.8
  TSHRF:    0.01 uIU/mL         0.4-5.00
  
10mg Methimazole twice a day.

im not really sure what all that means but maybe someone can explain and tell me whether the dosage is correct or not.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Give her some time...she probably still feels miserable.  Methimazole works pretty quickly, but it still takes time for everything to settle back down.  Also, her initial dose may have to be adjusted once she has labs again.  Be supportive...
Helpful - 0
1876121 tn?1320470106
ok so i have test results and will post them later but she went to see an endo in fargo after being referred there and had some more testing done and was diagnosed with graves and put on 10 mg twice a day of methimazole as of last thurs.  how long will it take for the meds to take effect? we were getting along pretty good for a week or so before the app. but in her eyes we are still not together i guess.  hoping the meds make her a little more emotionally open, right now she seems like theres not much heart or emotion there.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I think you've been given some really good advice so far, and I agree that actual test results with reference ranges are so important at this point.  You'rein a difficult spot because she doesn't actually want your help, and is probably blowing off half of what you tell her -so it's going to be hard for you to actually get your hands on any results.  What about just printing off some information and leaving it for her on the table or in her car?  Print off the tests she should have, symptoms, specifics on post-partum thyroiditis, etc.  Perhaps through that avenue she'll get on the right track?  I also have to say, something from the perspective of someone who just had a baby, your hormones are so out of whack during the first yr, it can make you nuts!  She could easily be suffering from post-partum depression as well, which is no joke. Combining post-partum hormones and being hyperthyroid will make anyone nutso -I can relate. How is she with the baby?  Does she care for him/her and how is she with her friends and at work?  Would she be willing to see a therapist to get some of her "stored frustrations" out in the open?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I realize there are privacy issues involved here, and you're in a tough spot.  "Irregular" isn't much to go on...  You will probably get more detail from the endo when you see him.

Do you think she'd allow you to go to her endo appointment with her?  My husband and I no longer go to ANY doctor's appointment alone...I can't tell you how many times it's been invaluable to have a second pair of ears listening to the doctor.  With her current symptoms, your wife is probably not thinking very clearly. Does she ask you for your advice?  If so, you might mention that you really can't give her much help if you're not informed first hand.

Good luck...  
Helpful - 0
1876121 tn?1320470106
so the raiu test came back "irregular"?  she now has an appointment in fargo, nd with an endo.  i thought the raiu test would tell if it was graves or whatever else?  otherwise why do the test,  we already knew it wasn't right.  seems like they should have just sent her to fargo in the first place.  idk i guess,  i told her to ask for test info to be mailed to her but she didnt do it.  guess i'll just have to wait and see.
Helpful - 0
1876121 tn?1320470106
the doctor called today and she is going in for a raiu test on the 22nd,  i tried to call and get her results but they wouldnt let me have them so hopefully they will send the results in the mail.  i asked her to tell them that but idk if she will.
she seems fine around everyone but me so it doesnt seem like she is that miserable to me.  she was just talking about me moving out and doesnt believe this could be why she is acting the way she is. i really hope it is why but am a little skeptical myself.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I agree with Barb...it's almost impossible to advise you with nothing concrete to go on.  The very best thing you can do for your wife right now is to find out from her doctor what tests were done and the results and reference ranges.  It sounds like she's feeling absolutely miserable...don't let her sit around "waiting for the doctor to call"...get on the phone and get this show on the road.  Doctors tend to attend to the squeakiest wheel first.  
Helpful - 0
929504 tn?1332585934
Your wife has a condition that millions of people also suffer with. If this condition effects one area of her life, it's gonna effect all. I'm not a counselor but if someone tells me that they no longer want me in their life and is very persistent, they know what they are saying and doing.

You can only be there for your wife if she wants you to. Focus on your child and trying to get her help. That's all you can do at this point.

God Bless.
Helpful - 0
649848 tn?1534633700
COMMUNITY LEADER
I don't mean to be a pain in your butt, but we really need to  know what tests were done to determine that your wife is hyperthyroid and/or has Graves.  

You can't "assume" RAI would be the course, unless that's what they said and you need to ask a lot more questions.... As far as I know, RAI would prevent breast feeding for more than a "few days"....

In order to help you (and your wife), we need to know the tests that were done to determine that she is hyperthyroid (should be a minimum of FT3, FT4 and TSH), along with sample results and reference ranges... Also have to wonder if they did antibody results to confirm Graves..

If you don't have copies of the lab results, your doctor is obligated to provide one upon request......
Helpful - 0
1876121 tn?1320470106
The first doctors app was on last wed and they I believe only tested and found that her thyroid was over active we haven't got anything in the mail yet or anything.  I just did some research on overactive thyroid and came up with hyperthroidism and graves and was completely shocked that it could do anything like this and kinda got freaked out I guess.  Its more the not knowing whats wrong for sure that's bothering me.  She said the nurse that called her on fri said she had an over active thyroid and they would have to do thyroid regulating treatment that she couldn't breastfeed for a few days while doing.  I assume RAI?  Though it seems to me they should do a little more testing first.  The actual doctor is suposed to call her this week she says.  So hopefully I can get some info then.
Helpful - 0
649848 tn?1534633700
COMMUNITY LEADER
I can't help wonder why there has been no treatment started for your wife, if her thyroid levels are really high.......

I understand that your life is on an emotional roller coaster, and while we'd like to help you, it's kind of difficult right now, because we don't have a lot of info regarding your wife's hyperthyroidism, so that would be a good place to start........

It would help immensely if you could post her actual test results, along with reference ranges, which vary from lab to lab, so must come from her own report.  

Was she actually tested for Graves Disease? That would require a TSI test to confirm.  There are other incidences in which people could become hyper - such as Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, in which the person can "swing" from hyper to hypo......

Please provide more information regarding her medical circumstances, so we can help assess the situation.
Helpful - 0
1876121 tn?1320470106
thats the hard part she wants nothing to do with fixing it, and when i try to talk to her she just looks the other way no matter how nice and sincere i am i get no response which makes it totally impossible to solve any problems.  im hoping after treatment she will be open to some kind of counseling.  as for right now she seems to just hate me
Helpful - 0
929504 tn?1332585934
A person who is hyper or hypo can develop mood swings, if this is your concern. Your wife must get treated for her hyper condition. It seems as if you may need marriage counseling as well. There are reasons for her actions and this is what you need to find out.

I pray that all goes well.
Helpful - 0
1876121 tn?1320470106
they havent done anything yet she is waiting on a phone call from the doc.  on the brighter side the guy she said she liked was actually a friend of a mutual friend of the two of us and i convinced her to talk to him and explain the situation and how if he were to really pursue her it would really be taking advantage of her being sick.  he agreed to not pursue her and she said he was definatly not a threat.  that helped my stress level tremendously as you can imagine.  but of course every time i get a little pick me up i get pummeled back down and just about 10 min ago found it no longer says we are married on our facebook pages :-(  im about ready to freak out
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Avatar universal
I sent a private message.  Look in your mailbox on the site.
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Avatar universal
So true......we never know what tomorrow brings.....but there is always hope..if not today then tomorow.....stay strong...What have they done so far for your wife's treatment of her hyperhyroidism?
Helpful - 0
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