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Embarrasing Thoughts Make Me Blurt Out Things
When I think of an embarrassing moment (whether it be real or imaginary) I will blurt out a swear, or perhaps a sentence like, "I love you (insert name)". I believe I do that as a means to "snap me out of" the moment so as not to re-experience the feelings the embarrassment caused, or causes, or to just end the momentary thought before it completes.
I would say that 50% of the time I blurt out some kind of swears or a sentence with a swear in it. The other 50% I have this habit of saying "I love you (insert ex gf's name)" or some other name. I must interject at this point that I am happily married and have no interest in any past gf's. But for some reason, the one name I usually insert is an ex-gf who I was overly in love with and who did end up dumping me. Which is fine by me now because I have an awesome wife and a wonderful family. And I am not supressing any deep down desires for my ex....believe me on that. When I do this most is when I am by myself and therefore, dealing with the gazillion thoughts that race thru my mind every minute. Sometimes my mind is like a runaway train. And eventually, the thoughts come back to an embarrassing moment, or a situation I make up in my mind that would embarass me, and I blurt something out, I thought out of habit to snap me out of the moment. Sometimes I blurt something out and one of my kids or my wifes hears me and will ask me what I was saying. Most times I can cover up what I said with some kind of excuse about what I was talking about. One time I was in the bathroom and, in the middle of an embarrasing thought, I blurted out, "I hate you!". My wife happened to be walking by the bathroom at that second and heard me and she thought I was referring to her which I wasn't. So we had a big to-do about that. Of course I"m scared to death that I will blurt out my ex-gf's name and she will hear me and she'll freak. It does seem to be worse when I am really stressed. I am not nearly as stressed as I used to be probably because I have learned how to deal with it in many ways including meditation. Thank God for meditation. Best part of my day.
Anyways I'd like to know if this happens to you and if you have any techniques to control these outbursts? Thank you.
I would say that 50% of the time I blurt out some kind of swears or a sentence with a swear in it. The other 50% I have this habit of saying "I love you (insert ex gf's name)" or some other name. I must interject at this point that I am happily married and have no interest in any past gf's. But for some reason, the one name I usually insert is an ex-gf who I was overly in love with and who did end up dumping me. Which is fine by me now because I have an awesome wife and a wonderful family. And I am not supressing any deep down desires for my ex....believe me on that. When I do this most is when I am by myself and therefore, dealing with the gazillion thoughts that race thru my mind every minute. Sometimes my mind is like a runaway train. And eventually, the thoughts come back to an embarrassing moment, or a situation I make up in my mind that would embarass me, and I blurt something out, I thought out of habit to snap me out of the moment. Sometimes I blurt something out and one of my kids or my wifes hears me and will ask me what I was saying. Most times I can cover up what I said with some kind of excuse about what I was talking about. One time I was in the bathroom and, in the middle of an embarrasing thought, I blurted out, "I hate you!". My wife happened to be walking by the bathroom at that second and heard me and she thought I was referring to her which I wasn't. So we had a big to-do about that. Of course I"m scared to death that I will blurt out my ex-gf's name and she will hear me and she'll freak. It does seem to be worse when I am really stressed. I am not nearly as stressed as I used to be probably because I have learned how to deal with it in many ways including meditation. Thank God for meditation. Best part of my day.
Anyways I'd like to know if this happens to you and if you have any techniques to control these outbursts? Thank you.
I have found the cure. Its the law of attraction. Hands down! It has completely changed my life for the better in the last month and i am cured! #Abrahamhicks . i have suffered horribly for 31 years and now its all over and i am high on life. This is the first time since age 10 that i want to live a long life and i dont fantasize about dieing. One months time of researching and practicing the law of attraction. And meditation.
I think its a symptom of anxiety. A coping mechanism. My dr said it was automatic thoughts. But people with this problem need to come together online and support each other. We should strive to help ourselves and future generations understand and cure this phenomenon. There needs to be a more known term for this. To me it seems like its not a very common symptom. I say there needs to more awareness.
Wow. Finally letsjam ive been waiting. For someone else to post.
I'm happy to find this post with so many that suffer from this also and also saddened by the fact that there doesn't seem to be a solution. Why do we torture ourselves?
I find the similar backgrounds we all share to be absolutely incredible. Let's look at the facts.
1) Almost all of us seem to say the exact same things and do the same hand motions even though we've never met and grew up who knows where.
2) Most here seem to be intelligent, educated and has gotten to a relatively successful point in their lives, at least materially.
3) Creative expression of some type is a common trend for us.
3) Most seem to of had some form of an emotionally distant family.
4) Staying focused on a task prevents the symptoms from happening.
5) Brain "down time" is when our thoughts drift to embarrassing, regretful and typically emotionally painful moments, some thoughts to a larger degree than others.
6) Drinking reduces the symptoms, hangovers bring them back to a larger degree.
7) Link to ADHD, depression, bi-polar, OCD. Tourettes is often mentioned but the trend I noticed is that the consensus is it is not Tourettes from those that have seen medical professionals.
8) Thoughts that provoke the outbursts tend to be from social interactions or exes, specifically emotionally scarring breakups.
I'm 31 now, my symptoms must have started about four-five years ago after an extremely painful breakup but I'm not totally sure. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 21, recently changed last year to bi-polar depression which I take lamotrigine for now that actually seems to be a pretty damn good medication. I also take Adderall for ADHD. Before I took lamotrigine I abused cocaine and Percocet for a few years to cope with my depression. When I stopped using drugs to cope with my depression I became suicidal and ended up in the hospital.
Like most of us, I typically burst out with curse words, racial slurs, and random declarations of love or hate of ex-girlfriends. I had a half black girlfriend for over a year... try containing your n-bombs that you don't mean haha. Somehow I managed to pull it off, but man there were some close calls and amazingly, was not the reason we broke up. The outbursts are always stimulated by a negative or embarrassing thought when my mind is wandering.
I love creative expression. I have been playing guitar for 13 years and always liked to write and draw as a kid. I come from an emotionally distant family, never say I love you or are particularly warm in an emotional sense. The one theory that our perfectionism comes from trying to impress our parents enough to love us makes a lot of sense to me. I am a good guitar player, golfer, graduated from a good college, work in a good field, etc.
I'm going to start writing my thoughts down as they happen. I appreciate the suggestion and I hope this will let me cope better and somehow make these moments go away, I am desperate to make this stop. Maybe we can bring this to a university or psychiatrist or neurologist? Throughout this post I have noticed that those that have sought professional treatment have been unsuccessful. I don't believe we even fully understand the issue or it isn't recognized so doctors have no idea what we are talking about and give us a generic answer.
It may be a good idea if we can open a discussion group of some kind or share any kind of success stories we have in beating this. I am going to check this thread a few times a week moving forward if anyone has any suggestions or just wants to talk about it.
In the half hour I spent writing this post though, I didn't have ONE outburst ;)
Good luck to all of us, I wish you the best.
I find the similar backgrounds we all share to be absolutely incredible. Let's look at the facts.
1) Almost all of us seem to say the exact same things and do the same hand motions even though we've never met and grew up who knows where.
2) Most here seem to be intelligent, educated and has gotten to a relatively successful point in their lives, at least materially.
3) Creative expression of some type is a common trend for us.
3) Most seem to of had some form of an emotionally distant family.
4) Staying focused on a task prevents the symptoms from happening.
5) Brain "down time" is when our thoughts drift to embarrassing, regretful and typically emotionally painful moments, some thoughts to a larger degree than others.
6) Drinking reduces the symptoms, hangovers bring them back to a larger degree.
7) Link to ADHD, depression, bi-polar, OCD. Tourettes is often mentioned but the trend I noticed is that the consensus is it is not Tourettes from those that have seen medical professionals.
8) Thoughts that provoke the outbursts tend to be from social interactions or exes, specifically emotionally scarring breakups.
I'm 31 now, my symptoms must have started about four-five years ago after an extremely painful breakup but I'm not totally sure. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 21, recently changed last year to bi-polar depression which I take lamotrigine for now that actually seems to be a pretty damn good medication. I also take Adderall for ADHD. Before I took lamotrigine I abused cocaine and Percocet for a few years to cope with my depression. When I stopped using drugs to cope with my depression I became suicidal and ended up in the hospital.
Like most of us, I typically burst out with curse words, racial slurs, and random declarations of love or hate of ex-girlfriends. I had a half black girlfriend for over a year... try containing your n-bombs that you don't mean haha. Somehow I managed to pull it off, but man there were some close calls and amazingly, was not the reason we broke up. The outbursts are always stimulated by a negative or embarrassing thought when my mind is wandering.
I love creative expression. I have been playing guitar for 13 years and always liked to write and draw as a kid. I come from an emotionally distant family, never say I love you or are particularly warm in an emotional sense. The one theory that our perfectionism comes from trying to impress our parents enough to love us makes a lot of sense to me. I am a good guitar player, golfer, graduated from a good college, work in a good field, etc.
I'm going to start writing my thoughts down as they happen. I appreciate the suggestion and I hope this will let me cope better and somehow make these moments go away, I am desperate to make this stop. Maybe we can bring this to a university or psychiatrist or neurologist? Throughout this post I have noticed that those that have sought professional treatment have been unsuccessful. I don't believe we even fully understand the issue or it isn't recognized so doctors have no idea what we are talking about and give us a generic answer.
It may be a good idea if we can open a discussion group of some kind or share any kind of success stories we have in beating this. I am going to check this thread a few times a week moving forward if anyone has any suggestions or just wants to talk about it.
In the half hour I spent writing this post though, I didn't have ONE outburst ;)
Good luck to all of us, I wish you the best.
3 Comments
Another silver lining to this whole thing... it seems like this disorder is not even recognized medically anywhere.
You know what this means right?
We can name our own disorder!!! ;)
You know what this means right?
We can name our own disorder!!! ;)
Let's name it the "I love you syndrome" lol
so funny many of us have the "I love you _____" lines :D
I'm a 31 year old women. And when I was 14 I became distressed over a juvenile relationship. That's when I started blurting. At first I would just shake my head violently close my eyes And say no! Sometimes this happened to me in class, but it was usually when I was alone and I felt like I really couldn't control it. It never stopped and it escalated from there. I quit college because of this. I started seeing a psychiatrist and they eventually diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder and panic attack disorder, even though I told them I thought I had Tourette's syndrome they assured me that I did not. When im deep in thought and have a bad memory or feel embarrassed, ashamed, or regretful is when it happens. Ill say things like... No! **** you! I hate you! Please! I try! Godammit! Your okay! And much of the time i am litterally agruing begging and pleading with myself i guess in an attempt to control it. Nothing like talking back to yourself to make you feel completly mad. And i will make voilent gestures like flipping off the air or making a gun with my hand and pretending to shoot myself! Well i thought i was alone in the world. I feel your pain.
Wow.. Ive been having this for a while and its gotten worse over time.. hints why Im looking into it to see if somethings wrong and what I can do to change this.. you are on point and I never put it together about hangovers intensifying this.. but it definetly does.. almost every thought that comes in mind is at a time of being drunk. Also I dnt know if it makes a difference but I rarely blurt actual words its mostly noise/mumbled jibberish but sometimes can come out loud enough someone heres it and asks me what I said which I have to cover with a lie because I cant say the thought and I dnt want them to think Im crazy.. time for an appointment I believe
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