Here is my story... can you relate?

[nicolak]

Hi Im new to this site.  Im 29 and married 5 years my husband and I have been TTC the entire time.  Im currently on my 4th month of clomid.  I find the whole process quite painful to be honest.  Every time it doesnt work it tears a hole in my heart to see his face disappointed.  I come from a family who adores children and my 2 sisters have no fertility probs and have children.  Believe me they can be so insensitive. Not actually meaning to.  Sometimes I get so envious and I know I shouldnt be.  All my friends have children and I feel I have nowhere to turn. If any of you wish to share your stories with me please do so.  I know the world is vast but it can be lonely.  I just want to meet like minded people to share this experience with. Good luck to you all out there, Love Nikki

[tkdkitten]

I can relate.  I'm currently doing clomid cycles with iui's.  I just got my negative again yesterday.  It seems like everyone I know is having kids.  We have so many people at work getting pregnant that the joke in my department is to call them the 'belly brigade' because it just comes in waves.  5 or 6 at a time, every 4-5 months.  My little sister has a daughter, and she just loves to rub it in, that she can have kids and I can't.  My dad teases me about my husband is going to have a bunch of little ones with .  My friends all have kids (one has 8!) and their idea of good advice is to tell me that it's a blessing because kids are a pain and i don't really want one anyway.  I even had a family member tell me that I should host the family party for May because it was to celebrate all may birthdays and mother's day, and I was the only girl in the family who wasn't a mother so the party wasn't for me anyway (I refused)

And my doctor's office is one floor above the obstretician's office too!  I don't understand why they would do that, but it is really annoying to have to listen to these pregnant ladies griping about their condition when I would give anything to have morning sickness and backaches to complain about.  One positive though - I have already promised that I will NEVER issue one pregnancy related complaint unless I am only in the company of women who are pregnant or done with having kids!

[kamil119]

I don't know if I can exactly relate, we've been blessed with a beautiful daughter almost 4 years ago, now trying ttc baby #2. But I have some positive stories to share. A friend at work could not have kids, they were trying for over 5 years, finally adopted. Now I see her after the summer vacation and she is 5 months pregnant! It may happen when you least expect it, a simillar story happened in my family also. So don't give up hope, once you finally get pregnant, you will forget how hard it was in the first place and once you have that baby in your arms, it will all be worth it, you'll see.

[truebeliever]

Im also hoping for a baby in July 2011!! SSBD!! I work in a clinic so allllll daaaayyyyy loooonnnggg all I see is pregnant women not to mention my office is right outside of the Ultra sound office so I see women running pass happily throwing there ultra sound pics in the air for their loved ones to see!. I had a lady come in here today with 3 kids and pregnant now and she says" i dont know what I was thinking when I didnt tie my tubes after the first one" so of course Im thinking I wish I had your ovaries lady!!! We will all get there and be on the other side telling other women about our sucess hang in there!

[brooklyns_mom]

Hi! YES I can also relate to your story. It has also been 5 years for us. Each month my husband is let down when AF comes..and for me, she comes with ALL her luggage AND the kitchen sink pipes! I, too am (sadly) jealous of pregnant women. It seems like EVERYONE at my job,neighborhood,family AND my DH family & job are expecting. And we feel terribly left out. I have a younger brother who is 20 & in college and on a family vacation, my aunts mentioned that my parents will have to wait until he gets out of medical school before they can become grandparents. I'm sitting there like HELLO!! Remember ME? The 31 year old MARRIED female child of my PARENTS??!! It was emabarrassing..like they had no hope for me giving birth.. Its going to happen. We have to remain faithful. I started a new thing last week-fertilaid. And i also began doing aerobics every morning about 3 weeks ago. Im hoping for a healthy baby boy in July of 2011-WHO's WITH ME??! :-)

[gillianl]

Going private would mean me having to pay up to £10000 which at the moment i don't have and as i'm already more or less paying for my treatment through my national insurance i get it free on the NHS but have to wait 3 years as the government are penny pinching and won't give the NHS the funds they need to shorten the waiting list which is why i have to wait 3 years.  

It does bother me a little i have to wait so long for IVF but it means i have the chance to get married and i have a holiday booked for next year to look forward to so i'm not going to get to upset about it, i'm more scared of how painful the IVF is going to be as i'm petrified of needles.

I hope things work out for you, keep me updated and hopefully next time you'll be telling me you have a BFP :)

[nicolak]

Thanks so much for sharing your story. You can message me anytime you need to vent or just chat.  I do feel the same way at times and experience quite a bit of anger too.  I also have some prayers that I use.  If your interested I can send them to you. SSBD, Nic

[truebeliever]

Hi i can also relate to all u ladies. I am 29 years old and have been trying for 6 years. I have pcos. I have tried many failed cycles of clomid and 3 iui's metformin follistim injections and i am currently taking femera. I am on the 3rd cycle of femera and hgc and I am 13 days past the trigger. I did test this past fri and it was negative so now Im just waiting for aunt flo to show. i feel her coming with the cramps and all. This next cycle Im going to try prime rose oil get back on the metformin and try the femera and the hcg trigger again. This last cycle I was so fed up and angry with God that I just kept asking him why does he hate me! I cant help but ? why he would bless so many unworthy people with easy pregnancy. The ones that mistreat and kill thier children or the ones that have an abortion like every other month. then there are women like us that would be great moms and would never even think evil thoughts when it comes to children but we have the hardest time. so many ?'s and every month I think i loose a little more faith. i know God is using me and I just cant wait to be able to say the words that I am pregnant and to be able to let another women know that I am walking testomony that God does answer prayers. when that day comes I will be the happiest women in the world. I do have a website that i go to all the time and it has prayers on there for women who are TTC. It helps me so if anyone is interested let me know and I can send you the link. This is going to happen for us I know it will. God is not evil and if we just keep believing in his promise to provide anyone that truly believes in him with there every heart desire we will get that BFP!! I would love to be cycle buddies with any one!  or if any one wants more details on my journey let me know!n baby dust to all!!

[nicolak]

Hi All, Thanks for your replies.  Its great to know that there are people who know and understand what I'm going through and thanks for sharing your stories with me.  It has really brightened a sad heart! Des_a_rae I will take you up on that offer and message you soon and I really hope your successful in your baby quest. Gillianl I have not tried IVF yet as my Doc wants me to go on Clomid for a few months this one being my last.  Im back in hospital to get results on the last 4 months treatments in two weeks time and he will let me know what steps to take next so I will keep you posted.  I really know how you feel as both my Sisters were pregnant last year and neither of them wanted to be and were complaing all the time! How come the IVF waiting list is so long? Can you not go private? JoJo thanks for your support also.  Please feel free to contact me at any time and Im always here to listen and share. I seriously cant thank you enough for your stories, Love Nikki. X

[gillianl]

i can relate, i've now been ttc for 3 years.  My partner and i have had all our tests done and everything came back fine, i had a laparoscopy in April of this year and discovered i had a twisted right tube, adhesions in both and slight endometriosis, the consultant managed to clear the adhesions but i only have a 5% chance of conceiving on my own so i have now been added to a 3 year waiting list for IVF.

In those 3 years my sister has had another 2 kids now 3 in total and miscarried her 4th 2 weeks ago, my other sister is pregnant with her first, my young cousin has had 2 baby girls another cousin had 2 boys but sadly seh passed away in January to cervical cancer, i've got aunts who have had kids and feel i'm the only one who really wants them but can't have them, i do know what you mean by sometimes people can be insensitive but i also hate the sympathy some give me like they can't talk to me about their pregnancies because i need IVF i hate that.

Have you ever tried or going to try IVF?

[Des_a_rae]

I can completely relate and I am SO sorry!  I've been trying for almost 7 yrs now and my whole family has NO idea what I go through.  I only dream about being as fertile as my aunts. I have 2 aunts that have 4 children, I have a brother and a sister but I'm the oldest (31) and my brother is 23 and sister is 17 so I'm not sure if they even want children.  My other aunts have as least 2 a piece and some have 3. It's a whole big ol family!!  NOW my younger cousins are having kids. It's so depressing. I dread when I see spotting eachmonth knowing its AF.  I get so excited when I'm only 2 days late and I'll test (knowing I shouldn't ) but I do and let myself down. It never fails. I pray one day that I'll see a positive on a pregnancy test for once. Because now all I think about is " why not me?", "am I broke inside?" and I feel awful!   At my last dr.'s visit I told him I wanted to try for 2 more months on my own and after that he said he'd start me on Clomid.  It's comforting to know there's another step but also freightening that if that one doesn't work or the next one and it comes down to IVF, well I can't afford that and it's heartbreaking.  I just try to stay positive and pray that one day! :)   I'm sorry you're going through this as well but just look to the future. That's all we can do.   Take Care. If you ever want to talk, please feel free to message me. :)  

[JoJo629]

My heart breaks for you.  Although i am currently also trying to concieve, i cannot relate to your situation.  My sister though, has been trying for 7 years.  =(