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1106767 tn?1315050974

when obsession becomes too much

When you are faced with infertility its difficult,and at times can be so unbearable to deal with.You really would not even begin to understand unless you have experienced it.I became obsessed with everything and googled everything to the point where i could not breathe with it all.Thats why i have stopped it so now i am trying to get on with my life and be as normal as i possibly can.I just listen to my body now and thats how its going to be from now on.....X
19 Responses
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689528 tn?1364135841
Hi hun! I didn't even have to deal with infertility and felt like I was becoming obsessed when TTC!!
I think it's great to just sit back, relax and let your body do it's own work and start just living and having fun!
TTC can consume the best of us!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm in the middle of a melt down right now.  Been ttc for almost a year post vas reversal. There will be four ladies on maternity leave at work next fall. People keep announcing pregnancies these last three weeks. Feel like I'm going out of my mind. Depressed...angry...jealous. I am what you described yourself as. I don't know how to get myself back. Thanks for the place to vent. Nice to know I am not alone in this.
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1106767 tn?1315050974
Hi honey,you are not alone and anytime you want to vent anything then thats good with me.Sometimes i cdnt even bear to look at new babies as it made me feel so angry and very upset.But you just have to take a back seat and be strong.Sending you my best wishes Bev xxx
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1106767 tn?1315050974
Hi hun yeh its such an emotional turnmoil trying to get pregnant,but i believe in karma so now im chilling and relaxing as much as possible Bev xxx
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Avatar universal
Thanks so much. I have been trying to do nice things for myself to get over this depression. I spent lots of time with my girlfriends and ate all kinds of sweets! I'm feeling better. Dh and I decided we wil talk to our doctor so I feel better about having a plan.
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1625007 tn?1318506075
two of my closest friends have both announced that they are having December babies...they both have children already and i have NONE. i am so upset, depressed, angry that they get pregnant and we are still struggling.

my two sisters in law both have babies and are trying for number two now. NOT FAIR. i'm exhausted from people asking constantly when we are going to have a baby....i'm trying not to obsess but it's becoming more difficult with every pregnancy that is announced!
Helpful - 0
1106767 tn?1315050974
Hi Ladies,yes we all know how tough it can be especially when friends and family all around you are having babies.I have 2 friends who are both due any time now.But i wont allow myself to be bitter,jealous,angry or upset.I have accepted for me it will probably not happen but i cant bring myself to be horrible or nasty to others just because i cant have children.Its not their fault just as much as its not mine.I am now more chilled out about life and for the first time in a long while i am so happy.I am not saying its been easy because its been far from it,but acceptance has been the key for me and to take time out to chill and have the least amount of stress possible.I hope i am being helpful to you ladies as i have found med help to be extremely helpful and such a support form all the ladies.SSBD to you all Bev xxx
Helpful - 0
1473300 tn?1397588529
I am on my 13th cycle of ttc. I have an 18 year old, but my husband has no kids. I was really obsessed the first 6 months. Now I am trying fertility treatments so that has brought on new hope. When I find myself getting depressed about the thought that this just might not happen for me, I calm myself down by thinking of other things I can do with my future if I find that I just can't get pregnant. I want to start a family with my new husband more than anything, but it helps to know that if it doesn't happen there are still many wonderful things we can do, like travel or maybe I can go back to school, or possibly even become foster parents. I think it really helps to have the chill attitude bevfly is feeling now. Being stressed out just makes it worse. Good luck to all of you!
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Avatar universal
I am in the same boat as you. I just found out today another (this is four now) friend is due in the fall. My sister in law called today to let us know we may have to take my niece tonight as she thinks she is in labour. I had a good week this week up until today because no one told me they were pregnant. Dh tells me to be patient and that things don't always happen instantly. How much can a person take though really??? 4!!!!! Everyone says oh wait ...it will happen. I am tired of hearing that from people who have no clue what this feels like. No more cliches from well meaning ppl!
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1625007 tn?1318506075
How do you keep going? I am not hurtful, mean or cruel to anyone who has announced that they are expecting...i instead bottle it all up and then cry myself to sleep many nights, without my husband even knowing. the tears just fall and i don't know what else to do. how does one not obsess about something when a simple thing like a trip to Target turns into another reminder of what i don't have. i know i do have a husband, a job, two adorable dogs and a house...but something just feels incomplete to me and i know my husband doesn't feel that way and is totally not on the same emotional level when it comes to not having a baby yet....

At least I know I am not alone in this whole journey! Seriously...I think no one really knows that it's going to happen but say that to placate the whole situation...
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Avatar universal
Trust me I have my melt downs...see above! I seek support here, among my friends, from DH and I just focus on other things like work. I teach 9th grade math so I keep busy. I have started to exercise which is totally foreign to me. I am trying to take on new things lately to occupy my mind and make my life full. Some days I feel more hopeful than others. I, like you, have lots going for me and I am thankful for that. I know what you mean about the feeling that something is missing. I'm fortunate enough to have 2 step children whom I love dearly. How long have you been trying? We have been trying for about a year now.
Helpful - 0
1106767 tn?1315050974
Hi ladies,i have been TTC for more than 2 years and have been through IUI with injectables and took clomid for 3 month even though i was prescribed 6 as i could not bear the side effect so only lasted 3.I have gave up but at the same time still hoping that it might happen someday.Deep down i know it probably wont though.Thats why i have have accepted it wont and have been occupying my life with other things.Learning to be stress free and chill out have been helpful for me.I wish all you ladies the best in your TTC and send you all special baby dust xxx
Helpful - 0
1630087 tn?1326809638
Although I have not been faced with infertility issues, after my first pregnancy resulting as an ectopic this january I too have become obsessed and depressed in not being able to fall pregnant yet.  I'm only at the starting point of ttc and its become so painful having symptoms so close to pregnancy to later find out my period has arrived.  I feel like a failure not being able to conceive when many ppl take it for granted sometimes. The only thing we can do to stay positive and to focus on our blessing and pray that one day it will include having a child to share them with.  
  
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1625007 tn?1318506075
we have been TTC since October 2010. I am going to do BBT this month and tests just to make sure that I am in fact ovulating. after that, i am giving up on the tracking and leaving it up to God. it's taking over my life and all i can think about.

i am going to focus on the upcoming births for this fall and hope that taking the focus off of myself will make me less stressed out, not just at work and home but in the bedroom as well.....

sending baby dust to all!

Helpful - 0
1647475 tn?1363137097
and whoever else needs to hear this --

My husband and I were TTC for over 3 years after we got married & I went through the whole gammit of having friends that were WAY younger than me get pregnant without even trying, second cousins (13 years younger than me) having TWO babies before I could even get pregnant with ONE, family on my husband's side getting pregnant and always asking me at family get-togethers when we were going to "try," I even lost a friend over the whole issue because I was so depressed that when she complained on Facebook one day about pregnancy symptoms, I wrote something like, "Don't complain, thank God you have your miracle!" and she went crazy on me and told me I'm too negative & she doesn't need me around if I'm going to be like this.  I cried myself to sleep many nights, usually without my husband knowing or supporting me if he did because he just didn't know what to do. I fought w/my younger sister because she doesn't want kids & didn't get it.  I was jealous over everything and yes, EVERYWHERE was brimming with pregnant women so it was impossible not to think about it (such dumb advice).  We tried a lot to get pregnant and finally, after more than 3 years, we are 10 1/2 weeks along and a much stronger couple.  I have to believe that this does make you stronger but not before it knocks you on the ground and takes almost everything out of you.  I've been there ladies & this is a great site to help w/those feelings.  They are valid and you all deserve to be mothers.  I pray that we all are someday & thanks for taking the time to read this, I know it will make some of you feel more normal.  Take care & SSBD on all of you that truly need it!
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1667267 tn?1322003971
I might be late, but i know the feeling. when i see pg women and i see babies i cry right there on the spot.
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1667267 tn?1322003971
I know the feeling.
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Avatar universal
I'm kind of in a mildly angry phase now. I want to tell pg women to f off! Lol I don't think about it 24/7 anymore though. Just waiting to get into a fertility clinic now.
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1625007 tn?1318506075
I am right there with you. I have family asking now. SO depressing. My sister in law is pregnant with number two and I can't even conceive one.

There are 5 women at my church (where I work) that are all pregnant. I am super excited for them but I keep wondering when will be my time?

Trying to remain patient, positive and hopeful!
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