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Avatar universal

Feeling suicidal

Am seeking any help and advice for my peculiar case – I am really suffering heavy depression because of it, and sometimes feel suicidal.  

I am a male, 32 years old, without any previous health problems or conditions.

In Nov 2014, I had one incidence of giving and receiving oral sex from a street commercial sex worker in Ho Chi Minh city, Vietnam. The receiving (insertive) was protected – the CSW provided the condom. I brushed my teeth maybe 10 minutes prior to the incident, and I do suffer from bleeding gums. Nothing else untoward, except that she playfully bit my nipple during the incident. I felt a sharp pain, but no blood was drawn. No penetrative sex occurred.

One day after the incident, I began to feel lethargic; 2 days after, I had a low-grade fever accompanied by severe (soaking) night sweats and insomnia. The fever / night sweats/ insomnia continued for around 8-10 days, by which time I had returned home (the UK).

Around 15 days after, I developed cervical lymphadenopathy, white exudative tonsillitis and swollen eyelids. Eventually, following several consultations/blood tests/chest x-ray, I was diagnosed with community-acquired pneumonia and acute Epstein-Barr virus infection (mono), with an EBV blood test showing IgM positive and IgG was negative, indicating this was a new infection. Two HIV tests taken in this time (at 7 days and 21 days post infection) were negative, as were tests taken at 21 days for all other STD’s (syph, chlam, gon). All tests for Hep also negative. Blood results were consistent with EBV infection – high lymphocytes, low neutrophils, high AST/ALT’s. So around 3 weeks after the incident, I was satisfied with this diagnosis and expected to recover in due course.

However, within about 6 weeks post exposure, I had developed other symptoms. One was weight loss – I lost 5-6 kg in a short space of time, and because noticeably thinner on the face and around the waist. I developed a dry mouth and furry white tongue – two GP’s thought this was thrush and prescribed nystatin, but an HIV specialist who I consulted and a dentist both said it was not thrush. I developed small petechia (red pinprick blood spots) on my arms and some on my face – these remain with me to this day (11 months later). I also developed loose stools, which also remain with me to this day.

In the following last 11 months, I have suffered:
- 1 skin staph infection – a large boil on my back that required GP consultation and antibiotics
- Athletes foot after a holiday in which I swam regularly. I didn’t treat at first, expecting it would clear, but it spread, and I only managed to clear it with 1 month of applying a cream
- 3 bouts of angular cheilitis.
- Mild seborrheic dermatitis on face / nasal folds
- A nasty viral stomach bug


Fast forward to today, end October 2015. It has been 12 months since the incident. I have tested negative for HIV 11 times – including at 13 weeks, 3 months, 4.5 months, 6 months and finally 11 months post exposure. Tests were all venous blood-drawn tests, with the majority being HIV 4th gen AB/AG tests. The 6 month and 11 month tests were both 4th gen.

I have taken regular CBC’s during the entire period, as I have never felt truly well. Total WBC’s, platelet count, RBC’s, Liver AST/ALT’s always been normal, the only abnormalities have been:
1. Elevated lymphocytes. In most counts (3-4 tests, spread over 10 months), these have been raised above neutrophils, meaning persistent relative lymphocytosis. Absolute number has been within ref range.
2. Mild iron deficiency – serum ferritin counts of between 30-40 (normal ref range is 30-340).

I still stuffer from dry mouth / white tongue,  loose stools, slight insomnia and mild seb derm .I have gained weight back, but I seemed to have aged a great deal in the last 12 months (grey hairs appearing in beard, bags under eyes). I live in fear that I will pick up another infection due to my seemingly lowered immunity, so I am very careful with hygiene.  

Where do I turn ?? I am a total mess. I am definitely a changed man in the last 12 months, my body has changed majorly, but I don’t have any diagnosis. Symptoms point to HIV but tests say negative.  Help!
11 Responses
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Avatar universal
I know its hard, myself in all of this neuropathy oral thrush i still have all of this but what can i do, i can't go creazy every day. If i die i will die what can i do, what im sayng is just try to stay calm as much as you can and try to not build theories woth all of this. Let's all of us tey to eat heallthy take a lot of vitamines, going to doctors time after time, in this way we will solve this. Most important thin is try very hard to stay strees free.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I was like you guys, why u care so much if is herpes ore hhv6, all of you have hiv negative results after so many months i was one of them driving my self creazy i have 9 hiv negative tests after 2 years im done with that, all i do now i take some ani depresants and a lot of vitamins, no stres try to forget about hiv and boost youre immune system. All of us are driving our self creazy because of symptoms. Just try to stay calm and lot of suplements the future will be better for all of us. I think with all of this stress we are lossing so much time in our life...
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
problem is some of are losing more than just time.vision gets worse daily .i have also lost 40 % of my hearing . my body will not retain muscle and i cannot build muscle .i find it very difificult to do physical activities at times sometimes walking can become difficult for me.
Avatar universal
I have very similar symptoms too. I feel like I've been aging rapidly the past 6 months and it could definitely be partly stress related. I'm losing my hair rapidly and prior to this I was very healthy and had thick hair. Now they are thinning out and falling in large numbers every day.
Also, like you mentioned, I do have real symptoms that needs to be treated. Currently my doctor has only done a few blood sample tests.
Do I have to ask my doc to specifically test for the Epstein-Barr virus and Pneumonia? So far she has done a few full panel tests on me and nothing is very out of place except for these:
Slightly elevated bilirubin and tiny elevation in Sedimentation Rate,Erythrocyte(ESR), which is an inflammatory marker. Doc said "usually significantly high when pathologic", and so doesn't think I have anything major.

Are you taking coconut oil as @TheLightSeeker mentioned? Anything else you doing to help with symptoms?
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
yes you have to request any type of herpes tests drs dont view them as important .protocols tell them not to look for them.they say there is no treatment for them anyway .but its not true the immune system can be helped by acyclovir to knock down herpe's infections when they flair.when they are get into the nerves they can cause hearing loss vision loss neuro problems .in wich case if it gets that bad they are supposed to give acyclovir by iv 2 bags .but there's not a dr alive that will prescribe it now thanks to the new protocols.check for hhv6 as well ebv and hhv6 are both mono .coconut oil is awesome it has been a big help for me it helps my memory it helps my throat my gums .coconut oil has an acid that is deadly to viruses.
Avatar universal
have you checked for hhv6?in adults symptoms can be severe
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
want on joe have you had your vitamind levels checked .this is so important brcause viruses cause vitamin d deficiency due to absorption problems.but vitamin d deficiency causes many problems all of wich you have .i knew of this condition and i had it in my closet but overlooked taking it .recently i had my levels checked and it reminded me so i am taking it again and it seems to be helping some of my symptoms as my levels get better.
remember diet will help you it is your first line of defense .garlic ,tomatoes broccoli,white button mushrooms ,these are all huge immune boosters.coconut oil will help immensely .if you boost your immunity and get your vitamin levels balanced and blood pressure you will feel much better also supplement omega 3 this will lower inflammation reducing some aches and pains .st johns wort will help promote a positive mood this will really help if you put this program together .
also exercise  mild exercise 4 times a week for about an hr will help boost immunity and create positive mood.one more thing glutamine helps elevate cd4 levels in the gut area .hang in there joe you will get through this .
Helpful - 0
1530171 tn?1448129593
WE must distinguish between chronic active and chronic recurring EBV
with periods of inactivity.
The latter would make sense as the severity of your symptoms are more consistent with the recurring type, therefore many of the markers are normal,( indicating absence or inactivity of EBV) and some are high such as your chronic lymphocytosis (which likely do not decline fast enough in periods of inactivity).
The EBV IgM is a tell-tell sign!

None-the-less, the immediate hurdle you may be facing, is the medical system, which you rely on for a proper diagnosis and consequent treatment.
My opinion is to do whatever it takes to optimize the function of your immune system.
Myself, I have experienced the low feeling of not knowing what was wrong with me. Idiopathic, psychosomatic, possible autoimmune disease, were
some of the suggestions.
Eventually it came to the point that I had to take matters in my own hands.
Long story short, I immersed myself in health and wellness education and found out how things really work in our body mind and spirit work.
And gradually got better and today, I'm enjoying great health.

So I urge you to follow up on some of my suggestions and do not be afraid to seek holistic-minded health professionals, to help you regain your health.

Best wishes,
Niko

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
@TheLight Seeker,
Thanks for your insight.
I too have thought about seronegative HIV infection. After doing some reading, it is very rare but can occur , and doesnt cause an antibody or even an antigen response. A PCR test would be one way to rule this out, but I havent taken one as they are very expensive here.
But there are a couple of things that make me think it may not be seronegative HIV:
1. My blood results were monitored regularly in the first few weeks of the acute illness, as I (and doctors) tried to figure out what was going on. Lymphocytes were consistently elevated in this period, which is consistent with acute EBV, whereas in acute HIV, they take a hit in the first few weeks.
2. If my immune system wasnt controlling the virus with antibodies, I think I would be a lot sicker than I am now. But I havent been ill in a few months, and in blood results taken 3 weeks ago, I showed pretty good readings on everything except lymphocytes relatively elevated above neutros, and fairly low iron.
3. I had one CD4:CD8 count taken 4.5 months after my exposure, and it was 1277 CD4, 1080 CD8 - high on both. Total lymphocytes on that reading were 3.8 (also high). The ratio and percentages were not great (34% CD4, and 1.15 : 1) but with HIV, I suspect my CD4 would have been lower
4. 6 months after exposure I consulted a haemotologist and discussed my fear of HIV, she ran a whole host of different tests including immunophenotyping (I think to check whether my lymphocytosis was worrisome for leukemia), and concluded that all my results was normal and that I had a resolved EBV infection.

Can you tell me a bit more about what you know about chronic EBV?
Could this explain my chronic lymphocytosis?
Is there any way to get a diagnosis?
I do know that my EBV IGM was positive even 6 months after my initial acute illness.

Thanks again for all your insight and tips re: coconut oil and probiotics, which I am going to take on board.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
@Denise, thanks for your advice on the mental side of things. Certainly a positive outlook, and remembering to be grateful, is a key part of well-being and feeling contented - and I appreciate you remind me about this.

But the fact is these are very real problems I have experienced and been experiencing - and prior to the double diagnosis of pneumonia and acute EBV, I never suffered from things like seb derm / angular cheil / hairy tongue / athletes foot etc.
I was so rarely at the doctor that I only had results from 1 reference blood test, which I took from a rouite health check in 2012, and all results were normal  , with neutros, lymphs etc all in the right proportion.
There is definitely something systemic going on, and it hasnt resolved since my initial illness in Nov 2014- and I dont think i can rest until I get to the bottom of it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey man, shoot me a message if you don't mind. I've had the same symptoms for 2+ years and would like to compare.
Helpful - 0
1530171 tn?1448129593
You could be HIV seronegative , a rare but yet possible scenario.
This would predispose you to lowered resistance to yeast/fungal infections and seb. derm (which may have a fungal origin).
Not to say that a suspected yeast/fungal  infection could not develop in the absence of HIV.
My opinion is that you have post EBV complications or Chronic Active EBV (CAEBV) which unfortunately is largely missed,
ALONG with a yeast/fungal infection.
The wide symptomology of a chronic EBV makes it challenging
to establish an unambiguous pathogenic explanation.
I also understand the reluctance of many conventional doctors to  
pursue such not clearly established  and perhaps controversial
cases, where EBV "persistence" may represent a more likely
etiology.
You may want to consider an anti-fungal diet, avoiding carbs, sugars, alcohol etc High quality Probiotics help replenish your heathy gut flora where about 80% of your immune function lies.
Supplementing with coconut oil (antifungal, antiviral, antiparasitic,
antimicrobial) added to your foods or better, cooking with it, will give you great immune boosting potential.
In therapeutic doses 5-8 tablespoons daily (starting with 2T and building up to 5-8T daily within 4 weeks) it will work better than most prescription meds! It has a much broader action than antifungal meds and when it comes to antiviral drugs, once the
virus replicates the meds are fairly ineffective, but coconut oil works in an entirely different way:
Because the fatty acids in coconut oil are similar to the pathogen's own skin, the fatty acids are attracted to the organism and are easily absorbed right into it. For the pathogen, it's like opening the door to an ax murderer, because they look like its best friend.
Once inside, the pathogen finds that the medium chain fatty acids are actually much smaller than the fatty acids that make up its own outer casing and this begins to break apart the pathogen's casing.
----Ref. Dr Bruce Fife, Coconut Cures.---
You may also use coconut oil topically and also for "Oil Pulling".
Just do search, if you're not familiar with it.
Don't be too surprised with the lack of a diagnosis though.
IDSA protocols, discourage medical doctors from pursuing
the chronic nature of many infectious diseases, which plague
millions of chronic suffers of Chronic fatigue, Fibromyalgia,
Lymes disease etc. and many of them misdiagnosed or undiagnosed ,on maintenance meds, usually for life!
My hope for you is not to become one of them.
Please note that my comments and suggestions are not intended as a replacement for medical advice and they only reflect my own opinion.
Best wishes,
Niko
Helpful - 0
16208097 tn?1446108219
You are driving yourself crazy. You need to stop worrying. You do know stress is the main cause of chronic illness. Stop having sex of any kind,(oral or penetrating- even hand jobs) with hookers, they are disease ridden!!
Getting zits, rash, athletes foot and a hairy tongue are all normal everyday ailments. If you are focusing so much on every little thing that could be a symptom of something else- that's called being a hypochondriac, You probably could use some mental health therapy. If you have had 11 HIV tests in 12 months you are definitely being OCD/ hypochondriac.
I recommend strengthening your immune system with supplements. Look into what Dr. Joel Wallach recommends  90 vitamins and minerals we all need to maintain our health, and some cognitive therapy.
Whenever you start focusing on your possible illness/symptoms instead do some deep breathing exercises, and start a gratitude journal. Everyday upon waking, and before going to sleep think of 5 different things that you can be grateful for.
Please remember we all create our own universes by what we focus on. Focus on the good, and you will feel good. Focus on the negative/ the what if's and soon they become reality.
In closing, by focusing on what could happen tomorrow, you are robbing yourself of today.
I wish you health and happiness!
Sincerely,
Denise
  
Helpful - 0
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