Fitful sleep and extreme irritability

[Jayzandra]

I'm asking this for my boyfriend. He's 39 and we've been together for nearly a year. He's always talked in his sleep; it was the normal jabber you hear from most people that talk in their sleep, but over time it has become gradually worse. He thrashes around in bed so much sometimes that I fear I might end up with a black eye. He speaks clear as day, an entire conversation, as if he were awake. It's like he's awake dreaming or something. If he's dreaming about playing the drums he will be playing air drums in real life. I have recorded him a few times and it freaked him out a little. I can't record him on video because his eyes are open and turning on a light awakens him. Also, if he turns his head and faces me he becomes aware that I'm looking at him mid dream and asks, "what?" as if he hasn't been asleep at all. It's really weird. He has also been extremely irritable lately. It's gotten to the point where I'm afraid to so say anything to him because he might get pissed off. I even broke up with him over it last week. But after talking a bit we decided maybe his sleep problems are causing the irritability.
He's supposed to go to a sleep center for testing, but is there anything we can do till this gets figured out? Our relationship is holding on by a thread.

[Jayzandra]

He's not mean and he would never hurt me intentionally, he's just easily irritated by minor things.

[Jayzandra]

He tried taking melatonin but that only seemed to make it worse.

[LVGirlRN]

Yes you are on the right track. He needs a sleep study done while his brain is hooked up to EEG. It sounds like he is going into deep sleep type rythmn too soon when he is not fully asleep or is ina lucid state. Im just guessing.   ONLY A DOCTOR CAN MAKE A DIAGNOSIS. The irritability can be from lack of sleep. BUT NEVER STAY IN A SITUATION OR RELATIONSHIP THAT PUTS YOU IN DANGER! I would not sleep together until he gets this under control. The sleep study will answer a lot of questions. Until then, just give him your support.

[Ricobord]

It does sound like a sleep disorder.  The sleep study will hopefully be helpful.  In the meantime, could one of you sleep in another room?  It might be worth the money for a good inflatable bed if you don't have a spare bed or a comfy couch.

[NOHARD]

Lavender, is a nice way to get relaxed, you could try him with a nice lavender bath oil just before bed, you acn either put the oil in his pillow, or you could put it on his sheets, you can also put some dryed lavender around the bedroom.
You could also have a look on earthclinic under his symptoms, and do a post to Ted.
Good Luck

[emtfirelady]

Lack of sleep can definitely cause irritability.  If he is dreaming frequently, then he is not getting much good sleep either.  We dream during the REM stage of sleep - not during a deep sleep.  Hopefully the doctor will prescribe him something, but in the meantime he can try taking Tylenol PM or Benadryl, which might help him sleep better.