1620115 tn?1386431409

Psychological question?

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, but if anyone could relate or talk. I am 16 now i am very troubled by my past around the age of 12 for no reason i was attracted to depression any depressing lyrics feelings i would let them consume me and obsess over it thinking that i was not depressed, i would cut myself but not because i hated myself i loved myself i wanted to show people that i cut myself, im not sure why it was a strange erge i would make up stories and lies about how i have mental disorders and stuff when all doctors say im fine, i never wanted attention so why did i do these things i starved myself because i thought i was fat i was never made fun of my whole life so why did i get those feelings but at the same time i felt like i was beautiful always looked at myself in the mirror i reached for drugs at 13 loving it all i thought where have these feelings been my whole life like i said i would cut myself for fun everyday i only even cut very deep a few times and i had no depression while doing it the depression came after, long after, i dont know what caused this but it slowly went away i am now 16 and scared i might have future issues i now do no drugs or even smoke :) also i always felt like i was smarter than everyone even the teachers like no one could relate like i was a super genious i could read minds by how people acted maybe not so smart in the ways the other kids were learning as in edjucation as you can tell by my spelling but smart in a "different" way if anyone knows anything or heard of anyone who went through the same thing plz post here id love to learn more or maybe why i felt this way, thank you
3 Responses
1620115 tn?1386431409
also i forgot to say i was depressed before the drug use and felt as if the drug use took me out of it slowly but surely (weed)
351246 tn?1379682132
Welcome to the MedHelp forum!
You seem to have a psychological issue, as you rightly said. You need a psychological assessment along with treatment. The symptoms could be due to schizophrenia, or personality disorder along with depression. Please consult a cinical psychologist or a psychiatrist. Take care!
Avatar universal
Streets drugs including marijuana in the long run will more than likely make your thought process worse. Psyche drugs might be able to help you manage your symptoms better but they will not cure you. I believe by seeking psychiatric help you can find the key or steps to your own mental health recovery. The fact you are young and open to seeking answers is a good sign. Cutting is a sign of DID, (Dis-associative Identity Disorder), the confusion with anxiety shows you may have started to experiencing some signs of border-line personality disorder. These disorders both can be managed if you seek treatment early in life...if you wait too long or do not take you medications as prescribed these ailments might possibly manifest themselves into schizo-effective or schizophrenia. Seek consultation with a Psychological Professional and Take Care.
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