Very frustrated, still have not gotten any answers

[DeeMarieee]

Hi again. Im not going to explain my whole story again, if you would like to read it, I've posted it not too long ago.

I still am having weird sensations and they're scaring the crap out of me! I find myself constantly worrying about my health and Im afraid to do anything because I dont want something to trigger whatever is wrong with me and end up dying. Yeah, I've already convinced myself Im dying and Im only 20 years old. i cant even enjoy my life anymore because I think that I either have MS, ALS, or some other disease..


Im gonna list some things  I'm feeling right now and other ones that just wont go away..

- left toe muscle has been twitching ALL DAY

- an out of no where tight feeling in calve muscles, lasts for a second

- sore knees and hamstring area, feels like i walked 10 miles today when I didnt really move much at all

- eyes have been red/glassy/irritated (looks like Im high when Im not) and kind of have a grey tint to them also with slight blurred vision

- a 'tearing' feeling in left fingers when i open up my hand/very weak/throbbing feeling in fingers/tingling. Noticed a change in my skin texture on my left hand. My right hand has been pretty normal.

-random burning sensations that happen everywhere, from my nose to toes.

- constant headaches

- stomach cramps, fullness/heaviness feeling, gurgling

- my hearing has gone a little bit and I experience high and low pitch ringing in them, the low pitch makes me so dizzy to the point where I almost black out

- pressure in sinuses

- dizzy spells, vertigo

- fluttering feeling in chest that comes and goes, mostly when i breathe in

- paralesthia (prob not spelled correctly) in upper thighs, buttox, lower and upper back. Happens mostly when im sitting up or laying down.

Doctors cant find anything wrong with me. Had complete blood test and only thing they said was that one of my thyroids is a little low but its nothing to worry about? ,  x rays of chest and stomach, countless normal ekgs, CT scan of head, mri of brain, neck, and spine, Lyme disease test came back normal, eyes checked, hooked up to a heart monitor, and everythings 'normal'!

Im so so SO frustrated and this is the 5th month I've been dealing with this bs. I just cant seem to agree with the "its just anxiety" statement. Thats what everybody is saying. I know my body and there is something wrong! They are just not finding what is causing me to feel like this. Does it sound like anxiety to you guys ?

Also, I did gain a lot of weight from being pregnant for 5 months but I unfortunately lost the baby.. I was around 130 before then and am currently 170, I gained the weight so fast. I was always skinny before I got pregnant and this is the most I've weighed in my life. Could that have anything to do with this? Am i just freakin lazy and need to start exercising?

I just cant get out of my head that I have a horrible disease and that Im going to die from it if I dont find out whats wrong in time. Thinking like this has ruined my life these past 5 months. It has been complete hell. I hate going out anymore because Im afraid im just going to drop dead. My poor mother is stressing out because she is trying to do everything she can to help me through this, and i feel bad because she doesn't deserve this stress im putting her through. My relationship with my boyfriend is going down the tubes because Im getting to be 'too mich to handle' ugh. I feel so hopeless and afraid for my life every single day. I used to love life and I was so out going up until 5 months ago.

Please help :/

[AndRynne]

You do not have any horrible and as yet undiagnosed disease and you are not about to die anytime soon. You may have some Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for the loss of your baby and you seriously need to take yourself in hand and exercise and loose weight. A few sessions with a Psychotherapist would help as would yoga, relaxation, music and meditation. But you must DO something to get you out of the mess you are in right now.

[jemma116]

I am sorry to hear about the sad loss of your baby.

You have recently lost your baby and you need time for grieving.  Everyone's "grieving time" is different.  

As well as the bereaving you are also probably going through what is called the "Baby Blues".  

Because you have had a number of tests and these have all come back normal, does not mean that you did not have a sinus, ear, or catarrhal infection.  Congestion in the sinuses and Eustachian tube will make you feel unwell and dizzy.  If you do experience those symptoms, make an appointment to see your doctor to check you ears, and throat.
Doing steam inhalations will help to loosen up any congestion in the sinuses and will also help to clear blocked Eustachian tubes.

With regard to the pain in your calf, if this does not settle, make an appointment to see the doctor for him to examine the leg and order a Doppler test to make sure that there are no clots.

Make an urgent appointment to see your doctor and discuss with him how you feel.  Take your partner or your mum with you so that also explain to the doctor how you are.   I would hope that doctor will ask you questions to establish whether you are in fact suffering from depression triggered off by your sad loss and with your hormones being out of balance, have the Baby Blues.  

You will need the support of your loved ones and it may be hard for them to understand exactly how you are feeling.  All these feelings although very unpleasant, are very normal with what you have been through.

You need the support of your doctor.  Ask your doctor to refer you for bereavement counselling and suggest to him whether in fact you are also suffering from the Baby Blues.  

You may have muscular skeletal problems.  But the main thing to tackle is how you feel.  Any stress, anxiety, depression will make any physical problems much worse or manifest themselves as physical problems.

Take things easy, learn relaxation skills, go for short walks in the fresh air.  It is surprising how going out for a walk can uplift your spirit.  
Take each day at a time.  

There are specialist counselling techniques that could help you to process your sad loss, ask your doctor if there are any he can refer you to.
You are no doubt batting with lots of questions and may even be blaming yourself about losing your baby.  

The thoughts that you have about a horrible disease could be because you are blaming yourself for the death of our baby.

Do remember that your mum and your boyfriend are hurting and they will be very worried about your health too.

I lost a baby at 6 weeks and it took me over a year to come to terms with that.  You, no doubt, had to go through delivery at 5 months gestation, and have gone through an extremely traumatic time.  And this has had a devastating toll on your mind and body.

Although you say that you are overweight right now.  With your thyroid levels being low, this may make it more difficult for you to lose weigh.  But try and eat a healthy and well balanced diet with lots of fresh fruit and veg.  Cut out or cut down on all sugar foods and drinks, processed and junk foods.    

When you say you had blood work done - were you checked for low iron levels?  

You are NOT lazy - you are still bereaving the sad loss of your baby.
With the right help, you will start to slowly feel well again, but this will take time.

Best wishes.

[DeeMarieee]

Thank you very much for your response and your kind words, i greatly appreciate it!

My pregnancy was not planned, but I was going to keep it. I was a wreck when I lost my baby, especially because I was so far along. I think about it every single day and I do believe it has a lot to do with all of these physical feelings Im experiencing. I lost my baby in February so it's been about 7 months since then.. but these symptoms didnt occur until the beginning of may? and it has been 7 months since I lost my baby so is it normal to still be feeling like this? Wouldn't it have gone away by now?

These feelings really have taken a toll on my life. If i do have a muscular skeletal problem, how do i find that out? My body feels like jello and I feel completely weightless all of the time. My bones crack even when I make the slightest moves. My doctor is aware of everything and knows about my baby, but she does not seem concerned at all. She says to me "your going to be fine" and thats it..

Im not sure if my iron levels were checked. Wouldnt that be included in the complete blood count ? And i am making an appointment to see an ENT.

I just am hoping I do not have MS or ALS. My neurologist also is aware of what im going through but she hasnt never brought those two diseases up before, even though I have a lot of the symptoms of both..

Another question I have that maybe you could answer is would there have ben any signs of MS or ALS in my mris or xrays? How do I rule those out?


Thank you again for taking the time and reading my post. Hope to hear back from you!

- Deena

[jemma116]

Your question "... it has been 7 months since I lost my baby so is it normal to still be feeling like this? Wouldn't it have gone away by now?

My answer:  Bereavement has no time line or limit.  There is no specific time limit that you suddenly stop bereaving.  Bereavement is a very individual feeling of loss.   It does not matter that you did not feel much until May.  It is highly likely that you were numbed and in a state of shock.  

People react to loss and bereavement in different ways - there is no right or wrong way in which to bereave.  

What matters is that YOU are still hurting and bereaving the sad loss of your baby - It is not important that you did not want the pregnancy to begin with.   You have also lost your health, and that too can make you feel bereaved.

Because we are all different, we all react to loss in different ways.  Some people may come to terms with their loss within a short space of time for other people it may take years - some people never get over their sad loss of a loved one.  

It took me 5 years, yes 5 years, to come to terms when my granny died.  She was more to me than my own mother, and I loved my granny dearly.  She looked after me when I was young, and I helped to look after her for a few years before she died -  I felt very sad but at the same time I felt anger and guilt when she died.   When I parked up at a supermarket one day, an elderly couple suddenly came over and started to talk to me and told me that all those emotions were very normal.    I was amazed that complete strangers came over to talk to me and could see my sorrow.   They helped me to come to terms with my loss, albeit it did take 5 years before I felt able to "let go" and move on.

You will never forget, but there will come a time that your loss won't feel so great as it does right now.  If you believe in God, then do pray to God to give you the strength to get through your sad time and to look after your little angel, you, you mum and your boyfriend.

It would help you greatly to be referred to a bereavement counsellor.

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Some women also go through what is called the "Baby Blues" and this is where the hormones are all over the place.   So the emotional turmoil that you are experiencing may be a combination of bereavement coupled with a hormone imbalance.  

Any stress and anxiety and depression can make any physical symptoms much worse.

Ask your doctor if she/he can refer you for specialist counselling to help you.  The doctor may prescribe an antidepressant to help.  If you are prescribed with any antidepressant, do remember that it can take about a month or more to start to feel better.    Although medication may help you to relax, it will not change what has happened.   Any type of counselling is not there to make you forget what you have been through, but to help you to deal with your emotions.

I don't think your doctor understands the emotional turmoil you are going through.  Yes, you will be fine in time, but right now you would benefit from talking about your physical and emotional pains and that usually is in the form of counselling.

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As far as I know multiple sclerosis is confirmed by a brain scan.  
I do not know what ALS stands for.

There are many things that can cause neurological issues and not just MS and your neurologist will no doubt do nerve conduction tests and other tests to find out what is causing your symptoms.  You could always suggest  MS to him and see what he says.

Muscle cramps, can sometimes be caused by lack of magnesium in the diet.  Sensations of pins and needles can also be caused by a lack of the Vitamin B complex, but an overdose could also cause symptoms.

Feeling like "jello" could be caused by your emotional state and you may have depression.   And it is not surprising that you could be suffering from depression with what you have been through.  

Constant hronic pain will also make you feel down and depressed.  

A complete blood count would have checked for iron deficiency and probably low B12 levels, you can always ask your doctor.

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It is a good idea for you getting checked out at the ENT department.  They will check for any blockages and will probably do an auditory test.

To help to ease the congestion in your sinuses and any blockage in the Eustachian tube that could be causing the pressure in your ears, do steam inhalations.  To do a steam inhalation, boil up a kettleful of water and pour this into a bowl, taking care not to get scalded.   Put some Vick or Olbas oil into the hot water.  Bend your head over the bowl and cover your head and the bowl with a towel.  Breathe in the steam through your nose and out through your mouth.  Do this for a duration of 10 minutes and try to do this 4 times a day.  My doctor told me to do this when I had blocked sinuses and Eustachian tubes as I cannot take any decongestant medications.

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Even though your bones crack (crepitus), you should try and do some gentle exercises to keep muscle tone.  If the xrays show any problems with your spine or other bones, I do hope that you will be referred to a physiotherapist to give you specific exercises to do for your problems.

If you can muster up any energy to go the to the pool, that is a good way to do some gentle exercises in water.  

Try and go for a very short walk in the fresh air every day.  I know you won't feel like it, but going out in the fresh air, will make you feel much better.  You can slowly build up the time you are out and the length of your walks as you start to feel stronger.

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Do talk to your boyfriend about how you feel and tell him that you love him.  Thank him and tell him that you appreciate his supportive.  Do remember that it was his baby too and he will feel very sad not only for the loss of his baby, but also for what you have been through and going through with your ill health.

Take each day at a time.

Let me know how you get on.

Best wishes.