7 years ago when I was 17 years old, I remember masturbating in the bathroom one time and had this brilliant idea to "pull" on my testicles as I ejaculated in the hopes that it would increase my orgasm. Sadly, I don't remember it making that much of a difference. A couple days went by with nothing strange that I could recall. I think I might've had one incident where I was sitting down and thought I felt my testicles sort of shifting around but I didn't think much of it. However... a couple nights after that failed nut pulling attempt, I was lying on my couch downstairs trying to go to sleep but at the same time having sexual fantasies. I remember being VERY turned on (it was honestly just me thinking about this girl at school) but not masturbating. I was just enjoying the sexual energy. Then all of a sudden, something felt really weird. I can't really explain what it was except something in me knew that something wasn't right so I ran to the bathroom to see what was wrong. I pulled down my pants and my left testicle was suddenly hanging like 2 or 3 inches then it normally would. It's like it didn't exist or something. If our testicles are supported in a sack, then the left one clearly was ripped out of it. It's like where the testicle normally would be, is just a hollow lifeless pocket. That's the best way to describe it and how it it still feels today, but anyway... I went to the doctor to see what was wrong and since I was younger and a lot more self-conscious of myself, I sort of didn't really give them the full story. I just said I had an "ache and pain" in my groin area. So they checked it out, did xrays, and the urologist said I had a varicocele and prescribed me some antibiotics. I knew that it was something more serious and til this day am scared to go to the doctor out of fear that they might need to remove the testicle. It doesn't bother me, causes no serious pain although it is quite uncomfortable when my sack is loose and lefty just kind of needs to try hard not to get sat on. I think throughout the years though it has dropped a little more from the lack of support. I don't believe it is anything serious or life threatening, and I can live with it, but can't stop wondering what exactly is the problem after all these years. It has definitely affected my sex drive and made me a self-conscious virgin for 24 years. One thing I noticed immediately is that after I masturbated and ejaculated after I felt it drop, ejaculate and the tickling feeling one gets when ejaculating only comes from my right side now. It also feels as it only the right testicle ejaculates. There is absolutely no feeling that comes from the left side whatsoever. What will happen is that i'll usually ejaculate all the white "sperm" i'm guessing from my right side, then all that will come after that is like clear white liquid which i'm guessing is semen. Like it'll shoot out how I used to with sperm, except it's just semen. Also, when I used to ejaculate into water like a toilet bowl, I can remember it being really thick and goopy looking. Like I could see the actual thickness and consistency of the ejaculate suspended in the water. Now, it's all ropy, thin, and stringy with lots of clear semen floating on the surface. My thoughts are that somehow I accidentally tore the inner sack of the scrotum kind of like how a placenta is for a baby, and also somehow disconnected the sperm tube in the process. Because semen comes out, but no sperm. Also, when my scrotum does tighten up from the cold or whatever, I can tell my right testicle is definitely housed safely in it, but my left one is obviously exposed. Usually the sack "scrunches" up and it will do that, except it's not "around" the testicle. It's like towards the back or front as if it is it's own dismembered entity. The left one retracts up, but you can feel that is isn't inside the same tightened sack as the right one. It's just kind of on it's own. But anyway.. i'm sure this post is long enough as it is and my main concern is just what exactly the problem could be and if there is anything that could be down about it. If necessary... I could possibly post a picture if that will help bring about some conclusions but only if necessary and if it will help. Thank you all to anyone that took the time to read this and hope to hear from someone soon. Thanks!