Should I keep it?

[tataliss]

Hi...
I'm 22 and I live in a great country in south America, I have a boyfriend who is my age and we love each other. I was taking the pill and we used condoms on ovulation days but somehow I got pregnant. My period was supposed to come last 16th and it didn't I knew something was wrong because I'm never late.
So I went to take a blood pregnancy test yesterday and it came out positive. I wanted to die, I cried my eyes out. My boyfriend was with me the entire time and he wants to keep it. But we are both 22 we are university students and we have nothing to offer to a baby now he has to quit school and focus on work to make money. But that's not the worst part...
I was supposed to go to USA to study on may 3th, my dad already paid for everything and took care of all the paperwork. It's not refundable... He is going to kill me and I'll be an embarrassment to the family, things are expected of me and I don't know what to do, I'm so scared. Please help

[Tasha215]

Do what is best for you! You definitely dont want to hate  yourself for keeping something you know you cant handle right now you will give the baby a better life if you were set up for it and your not and thats ok! I had an abortion the first time I got pregnant and don't regret it at all I just learned from it and took better precautions now I have a 2 year old pregnant with my second child and would not change my decision

[madibrook03]

I am 21 years old. I am 8 months pregnant and work over 40 hours every week.. me and my husband who happens to only be 20 also take care of his 16 year old cousin. Just because you are pregnant does not mean you can't finish school or do what you had planned.. it will be extremely difficult but all things are possible. wouldnt it be a cool story to tell your child that mom made her dream come true even with a few curve balls? Your child will grow up knowing dreams can come true with hard work and dedication.

[sadgurl420]

YES!!!

[Ana60656]

Perhaps you think your family will disown you and you'll lose their support, but the second they see your baby's face, that'll all go away.  I'm not saying it'll be easy...they'll be mad at you, scream, kick,  but it's understandable. The dreams and plans that they had for you were shattered, it's a selfish thing us parents do. Their love for you is bigger than that and they won't turn their back on you. And if they do...you'll have the biggest motor and motivation to keep going and succeed. You will no longer do it for you, you'll do it for your child.  I wish someone gave me this advice 13 years ago; I had an abortion. My boyfriend and I were young and scared. We regretted it immediately after it was over, we cried for hours. I ended up getting married shortly after and I still can't get over it. I now have a 4 yr old son who is my world. Whatever you decide, you'll never be ready for, go with your conscious and your heart. Good luck.

[susymarie]

I know this is tough. But please think about it more. Family will always be there. What is more important to you? How do you see your future? Do you really think your going be happy? Do you really think you are going to continue on with life like nothing happened? I really not trying to make you feel bad. I just woukd like you to see it from a point of view if you had already had the abortion. Yeah you go and it's done. But the damage is there and the scar doesn't go away . I wish I had someone to tell me not to do it. And now I'm here telling you not to. I can't force you obviously, just like you to reconsider. Here is a link you can read about for questions on abortion.
http://pregnancy-helpline.net/pregnancy-options/considering-abortion/

Best wishes

[tataliss]

It's not an option for me. If I could go through the pregnancy I could take care of it and I can't. I will lose my family support and my place in USA. I'd still end up with nothing and the thought of a baby i had and let go. Also, my boyfriend, the father, will never let his child go and live with someone else. So no, adoption is not an option.

[susymarie]

Take my advice/opinion. I have been there, I was 21 and got pregnant. I made up a whole bunch of excuses which were ligit, like career finances and other things an got the abortion. 5 years later I still regret it an hurt so much that I did it. I could have had a 5 year old running around. I hate it so much, it's a pain that won't go away. I was so selfish, I put my life first. Instead of the one growing inside of me. If I could do it all over again, I would not do the abortion. I'd rather be poor, struggling anD happy. Than to feel guilt, pain and whole in my heart forever. I have toddler now and another on the way. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[maw4389]

You could always go with adoption?

[tataliss]

I thought about it, I still am an I feel terrible for it but I think is my best option. It's just not legal in my country so I don't know where to get one or how to do it myself, plus my boyfriend won't support me on that so I'm on my own. What is the safest way to do it?

[maw4389]

Then you'll have to find somewhere else to have it done. There is no "safe" way for you to do it yourself.