Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

What would you do..? No ignorance plz!

I just had my daughter 8 months ago by c section. And I found out about 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant again. 10 weeks. I am usually responsible, but My insurance expired and wouldn't pay for my birth control anymore. On top of that, my clinic is an hour away and I've been so busy with the new baby and working full time. Anyways..
Now I'm torn between keeping my baby, and having an abortion.
My reasons I am considering abortion is... For one, im not ready physically, financially, or mentally. Two, I just had a baby and She already consumes my life. Third, My baby daddy and I have a very unhealthy relationship. We constantly fight, And he brings our daughter into it. I know him and I are never going to be a happy family, and i cant stand the thought of having 2 kids by him. Fourth, I have no support. I have no family or friends to help me if I needed it. Like to baby sit. And he is no support either!

I have no doubt that if I were to have the baby, I would love it just as much as my daughter, but I also have no doubt that it'd be an everyday struggle and I'd suffer from depression.
So.. I just want to know, if you were in MY position, what would you do?

15 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
I also agree that we need to leave our own personal religious beliefs out of a discussion because not everyone believes the same.  There are times that a pregnant woman keeps the baby and it is not ideal and that child suffers greatly.  Which is very sad.  There are other times it works out fine.  So, we really can't say emphatically it will be okay.  

Now, in asking what I would do.  I don't know.  I'm not in your exact situation.  So, it might not apply to what I would do.  So, you really have to make a list of pros and cons and look at what is best for your own life hon.  good luck
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
COMMUNITY LEADER
Sweetie, there is no judgment for considering termination.  That can be the right choice for some women.  It makes the problem go away and you go on about your life.  So, if this is your choice, there is no shame.  There are clinics that perform this I'm sure near you.  You can call and find pricing.

Or you can keep the baby and see if it can be worked out.  

But the choice is yours and yours alone.  No one here walks in your shoes or lives your life.  They have their own reasons for why they feel as they do but that really doesn't apply to you. It's about YOU.  And sometimes it is just not ideal to have a second baby like this.  Only YOU can decide.  I'm here to talk if you need to,   hugs
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Personally I lost a baby before my current pregnancy and I would never get an abortion but everyone is diffrent and I really think you need to talk to a professional about this. This is not the kind of decision you make based on the opinion of others on this site.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If you don't think you are suited to have another baby yet then I would say abortion. Pregnancy is stressful enough without being in the situation that you are in. Adoption is good but you still have to be ready for the pregnancy which in your case I would say it would be best for both of you to terminate. Financially speaking of you cant afford insurance st the moment then its going to cost you more to keep it then To terminate it. What people don't reaslise about abortions is it's harder or the woman than it is on the fetus. It's a big commitment and it's you that has to live with the concerquenses. That fetus will feel no pain it won't remember anything and it won't know that it's happening .( for anyone that wants to say fetuses do feel pain Google it there is no where near sufficient evidence to say they do and will say that even  if they did feel pain it won't be till halfway through the second trimester) I've had an abortion . At the time it was the right thing to do I wasn't financially stable or emotionally. I don't regret my decision and never have regretted it but it was a hard one to make. And it was painful ( mentally not physically)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It's up to you. Adoption is always an option plus when you are in an adoption program they hell you put with money and provide you with many things... Good luck hon.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am kinda in same boat as you. I just had a baby 16 weeks and I am 6 weeks pregnant . Planb failed to work for me. When I found out I cried n considered my options. But there is no way I could do anythin . I love my daughter too much n I know this baby will be the same. There part of u. I do have help n a stable relationship n financialy OK . But people do it that has noting and manage. So do tink hard about it. I tink ur way too long for termination. Your baby is able to move and it's heart is beatin. Tink of adoption if u really can't manage another baby.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Just remember nothing is forever, whatever your feeling or going threw will one day pass and you will see a brighter day and at the end you will have the 2 most beautiful creatures in your life that will never make you feel sad but joy and happiness...my mom had 4 kids between age 18-23 and she didnt have a life my dad was a acholic who beat her in front of us everyday. Now she's the most happiest successful women i know who seems to always go on vacations without me :( lol and after she left my dad 13 years ago every man she meet treated her like a queen becausw she knew what she and her kids are worth
Helpful - 0
12184553 tn?1443895085
Honestly that choice is completely up to u. We make mistakes and grow from them. Me myself wouldn't abort only BC my mother gave me a chance when she was in a bad situation. Adoption isn't always a bad idea but I get nervous about how society is today. A lot of Americans, if you r one, adopt more kids from different countries then here in the states where its needed just as bad.

In whatever you decide remember its your choice. I'm sure you will come up with the best solution. Good luck!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You as well :)
Helpful - 0
12584065 tn?1436320514
No harm done at all. Happy this conversation stayed at a mature level. Take care :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Please don't think I mean any of this negatively.  It really does make me happy that people are able to find such comfort in god and I think it's a beautiful thing that you would want to spread that joy
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well, regardless of how responsible u usually are...you new you were having unprotected sex that leads to pregnancy while you were already having these problems your explaining. I am not trying to be mean!!! Because I know that sometimes things get hot and we aren't really thinking you know. So I understand. But sometimes you just have to deal with what your actions result in. one way or another you can get through this. I don't believe in abortion I couldn't do it especially if I already had a child. But its your choice. And I just hope u make the right decision for yourself and that's all u can do.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My husband and I lost or first two and are finally having our first child in a couple weeks. I just ask you to think of the other families who can not have children, abortion isn't the only answer. There are so many families looking to adopt, I also grew up in a family where my parents do foster care and they adopted my two youngest sister's.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I personally don't believe in abortion. I say if you cant handle the baby, give them a chance at life and put them up for adoption.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
If you feel you can't handle another baby, there's always adoption!
Helpful - 0

You are reading content posted in the Women's Choice Community

Top Women's Health Answerers
Learn About Top Answerers
Popular Resources
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
Bumps in the genital area might be STDs, but are usually not serious.
Chlamydia, an STI, often has no symptoms, but must be treated.
From skin changes to weight loss to unusual bleeding, here are 15 cancer warning signs that women tend to ignore.