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171768 tn?1324230099

Ideas for when I am away from my little ones

I am going in for brain surgery soon. One of the things that devastates me is the thought of being away from my little ones (1 1/2 and 3 1/2) for so long. With no complications, I will be in the hospital for 3-5 days. I suspect I will not want them to visit me there, as I will look pretty bad. Of course, I'll still look gross when I get home, but we will deal with that when that time comes. I got Mommy/Daughter portraits done to remind them of what I will look like again once I am healed.

I have only been away from them for 1 night. I need the creative mommas here to help me come up with ideas to help me and them!

So far, I have bought them a small present for every day I am gone. It is something that can help entertain them for that day (paint sets, dress up, toys, etc.)
I used my webcam to record our nightly prayers together. I am also using my webcam to record me reading stories with them. I will leave the videos for their caregivers to watch with them if they get upset or sad. If they are getting through fine, then there's no need to remind them I'm not there.

Any other thoughts or ideas? I know someone who used a paper chain with links to be removed for each day the parent was gone, but I don't know how long I will be gone.

I know people leave their kids all the time. I just haven't and this is not the best way to start. There are different people coming and going to watch them, and of course everyone I trust to care for my kids is also stressed out about my surgery. I know they will be fine, and I'm probably just transferring my anxieties to this because it's easier to worry about this than think about all the risks of surgery. But i have to plan, I have to do something!!
6 Responses
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121828 tn?1333464491
I think you have some fantastic ideas!  Maybe even a new movie a day, make your own pizza night, pasta necklace crafts? I'm at a loss myself now that I think about it!  New book a day is fun too, this age they love books!  I know things are going to be just fine but I'm the same way I assure you.  Thinking of you and your family, have you set the date?
Helpful - 0
171768 tn?1324230099
April 29. And because it's the same day as the royal wedding, every time I turn the TV on I get a count-down to remind me. The Today Show reminded me as soon as I turned it on that there's only 8 more days.
Helpful - 0
121828 tn?1333464491
Ok, well I'm going to keep you in my prayers every night with the countdown. Maybe you should do a chain in colors.  Put the one color counting the days until your surgery for the kids and then maybe a color for the day you go in. Then, maybe add about 10 ( i know it's a lot) but 10 of another color that they can count down until you come home. I know cross fingers you'll get home earlier but it would put things in perspective as each day comes? just a thought :)
Helpful - 0
689528 tn?1364135841
I think that as long as their days are in the same order as any other day and their routine is the same then they will probably be ok. You do have great ideas and it's great that you videotaped the prayers and stories. I think they'll love it. They may ask where you are and people can say "Mommy is coming home in 4 more sleeps." and that will help them understand and get a hold of how long it will be.
The only thing that would be different would be that you'd be hooked up to things at the hospital right? So maybe if it does get hard for them that they could see you..more near the end than the beginning!
Good luck with your surgery! Everything will be fine! :)
Helpful - 0
171768 tn?1324230099
unfortunately, there is a chance of significant facial and eye swelling and bruising in the beginning. And the incision will stretch from my ear to my widow's peak. I know they'll have to see that at home, but I am afraid if they see that in the hospital and then leave me there, it would be too scary.
Helpful - 0
223237 tn?1302188391
Have you thought of something that they can hold or snuggle with that has a recordable message? Something like a teddy bear from Build a Bear or one of those story books from  Hallmark?
I know you must be feeling so stressed right now, but I really think your girls will take their cues from the grownups in their lives. Try to be calm and matter of fact when explaining your absence to them. Then come here and vent to us if you need to.  Best wishes for a speedy  recovery.
Helpful - 0

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