Can't have sex/use tampon

[jp1110]

I first tried to use a tampon when I was eleven, which was a year after I started my period, and I fainted. I tried throughout my life until now, (I'm 19), and still faint every time. I have told myself I'm going to get over this a million times and have gotten a mirror to look at my vagina, but all I see is a little dot. It doesn't look like pictures you see on the internet. It looks like if someone drew a vagina then just stabbed it with their pencil near the bottom. I **** you not. I know that your vagina is supposed to expand but sometimes I try to arouse myself and stick a finger in while holding a mirror but it doesn't look like it gets any bigger. I've attempted to have sex, because I figured it might be easier to just have someone else try, but its failed every time. The guys just can't seem to find it, even if they have sex all the time. Most of the time they say its just too small and ask me why I'm not turned on, but I am, it just doesn't really expand. I've been fingered probably a hundred times, the first time was probably five or six years ago, and it hurts every time. It stings. I bleed every once and awhile from it still, but its the only time anything goes up there. This has been happening for years. I have no reason to be afraid of sex. No one guy has ever forced it upon me; if anything I aggressively go after boys now because I'm so desperate to finally fix it. I don't have enough money for insurance, so I can't go to the gynecologist. I really can't pay to go do something fancy like that, so did anyone else ever have this problem and fixed it for free? If there's no other way to fix it than to pay, then I'm going to have to wait years after I graduate and pay back my student loans, and at that point I might as well become a nun... Thanks...

[AnnieBrooke]

If you are in college, you might have college health insurance available.  It will perhaps not cover what seems like elective surgery, but you don't even know if the problem would be considered elective or a general health issue.  (Especially if your periods are affected, it might be covered.)

Some women's hymens are tougher or stronger than the filmy hymens other women are given by nature.  Those women occasionally do have to get a minor surgery to open the tissue there.  But you don't even know that this is the problem, so you need to see a doctor and get advised.  The initial consultation with the doctor will not put you into the poorhouse or make you have to wait until you are 80.  

Once you do get a job with good income, or even before if you are lucky about the insurance, get a pelvic MRI to be sure there is no issue with the shape of your uterus or vagina.  But seriously, in the meantime, see an ob-gyn.  If the only problem is slightly thicker than average hymen skin, I think that is not a big or costly issue to fix.

[Alwayslovely]

No need to worry your body will expand on its own but you should still see a doctor to see if they have any professional answers