Did I get my period mixed up with excessive masturbation?

[avapen92]

Please help me...I am a muslim and i was talking to my grandmother, who told me that when a woman gets married and goes home with her husband to have sex for the first time, that her virginity must be present and it should be clean or something like that. she said that blood SHOULD come out when they have sex. if theres no blood, and virginity isnt present or something like that, then he will dump me and tell my family, and ill be looked upon as a disgrace, and my mom could possibly kill me of rage.

i am a victim of american teenage lifestyle, and so...i masturbate, i started at about 9 possibly and i used to watch a bunch of porn, and still do. ive been masturbating, and also tried to be like the porn girls, (because before i didnt know bettter- but i knew it was wrong). i stuck things up my vagina, and played with myself excessively trying to get as much pleasure out of it as possible. i used to think i was the only one who did it, until i saw Transformers and found out that what i was doing was called masturbating, and lots of people did it...
one of the things that wasnt masturbating was sticking this up your vagina. im so scared that ive lost my virginity.

Plus, i got my "period" around my 13th birthday. i just turned 15 like a week ago, and i havent had my "period" since summer of 2008. ive never had my period from month to month. its more like every 3-5 months or more now...

plus, sadly, i have made out with one of my friends before but we never really do anything bad. except for the shamee part of it. she's female. she tells me im gay. and im not. but its a possibility i could be bi, because im not afraid to make out with a girl. and i love lesbian videos...

im so scared... i dont know how to stop or how to become less of a victim the peer presure is on.

My questions follow as: is it my period? why arent i getting my period if i already got it? should i go see a doctor? if i should, i dont want to because i dont want anyone to find out...is excessive masturbation bad? i need an explanation of whats going on with me..


HELP PLEASE.....i dont want to be bad, because deep down im not.

[Claire_MHModerator]

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[nicky258]

Hi uhm i am a 13 year old girl i have been masturbating for quite some months before i had my periods.....................and then i had them for maybe 5 days then they stopped i have been expecting them but  they are still not coming.......this was in january when i sarted them

please help if you can i would really appreciate it

[avapen92]

thankyou so much! i will try to go! and i feel a whole lot better and informed :D

[timmysmom2005]

Irregardless of your religious preferences masturbation is a totally normal "Human" need. It is completely normal to feel the way you do and to do the things you do. I think it's possible that you could have broken your hymen if you are putting things up there, but it doesn't mean you're not a virgin. You are a virgin until you have sex the first time, period. I agree that you should look for a planned parenthood in your area. I'm sure to have a pelvic exam will be scary for you, since you obviously haven't been very well informed about a woman's body and the doctors care you need to keep it healthy (not an insult!) But there are good people working in those clinics and it is confidential. You don't need parents to go there and they legally cannot tell anyone that you were there or why. You ARE NOT bad! You are young, uninformed, and scared. Totally normal.

[mosaicofcirclez]

A gynocologist is a doctor for women. They give you a check up (usually once a year) just like your regular doctor, except they are checking your reproductive system. They will examen your vagina inside to make sure you are healthy and dont have any diseases, tumors, infections, or anything like that. They will also teach you how to examen yourself for breast cancer. None of this hurts. Of course it's a little weird having a stranger inspect you, but they are a doctor, they do this every day and they think nothing of it.....i just make sure my gynocologist is a woman, because i am personally not comfortable with a man doing this check up, but either way it needs to be done and its no big deal. They will be able to tell you why your period is abnormal and what if anything needs to be done about it.

Planned Parenthood is a place people can go for a check up, where your parents probably dont have to know. They offer a safe and discreet place for teens to go and get checked up, ask any kinds of questions, get birth control, and a lot of other things (i went there when i didnt want my parents to know). It is not just for parents or pregnant or sexually active people, its just the name of the place. youll have to save up to pay for the visit, since it will not go through your insurance (so your parents dont know). Of course it is always better to talk to your parents before going on your own, because chances are they will bring you to the doctor if you tell them your period is abnormal.....you do not have to tell them anything about masturbation, and if you go to the doctor you can talk to her about anything and she can not tell your parents unless you say its ok. In any case, you should go to PlannedParenthood.com. The website will tell you where the closest Planned Parenthood is to you, so you can call for information, make an appointmment, and it also will tell you anything and everything you want to know about masturbation, sex, your body, diseases.........its a good website.  Just click on "teen talk" on the right side of the screen when you first go on the website, and it will take you to tons of information.

Anal sex is when the penis is inserted into the anus, vaginal sex is when the penis is inserted into the vagina, and oral sex is when the mouth is used to stimulate the penis or vagina. There are risks and benefits to each kind, but the plannedparenthood website call tell you more. Also if you look up Alfred Kinsey, you will get a lot of information.

=-)

[avapen92]

the shame in masturbation for muslims, is the fact that you are touching yourself. apparenty the body shouldnt be messed with until after married or something.
thanks for your reply!

[avapen92]

thankyou for your reply!

what is the diffrence between oral, anal, and vaginal sex?
what is a gynocologist - and when you first went what happend and did your parents have to be there with you or find anything out?

[hannah1505]

i dont see any sham ein mastabation its very natural and i broke my hymen when i was very yound around 9 or 10 as i as a gymnast.maybe you should see your gp you dont have to tell him about masterbation unless he asks which he will if he feels nesersarry plus he carnt tell your family without ur permission
good luck i hope it works out for you x

[mosaicofcirclez]

Masturbation is absolutely fine and not harmful to you at all. I know for a fact, (I have studied human sexuality), that the majority of people young and old masturbate on a regular basis. You have nothing to be ashamed of, despite what you have been taught. Sexuality is a very taboo subject for a lot of people, and so a lot of people are simply ignorant as to what is and isnt healthy or normal because they dont talk about it or learn about it. As long as you are not locked up in your room all day every day, there is no problem. It is especially normal for a teenager to be doing this, I know because I am 21 and have been through similar things. Masturbation is especially healthy because it is an outlet for your natural sex urges instead of having sex with someone, which keeps you from getting diseases, or becoming pregnant. Sex is a part of being human, like feeling the need to eat, sleep, socialize and so on....mostly everyone has a natural sex drive which is perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Also, if you kissed a girl it doesnt make you a lesbian. If you are attracted to girls and would like to have sexual relations with girls, then maybe you are bi or gay, but just experimenting is normal and doesnt make you gay. I kissed a girl once just because i felt like it, but i dont like girls and i am straight.

As for your period being late, masturbating will not make your period late. You should see a gynecologist though, to make sure you do not have any problems. You could simply be irregular but you should see a doctor to make sure. Better safe than sorry, and no one needs to know. I had my first gynocologist appointment when I was 16, every woman needs to go sooner or later.

Typically you are considered to be a virgin until you have oral, anal, or vaginal sex. I would absolutely consider you a virgin, but now we are going into religious/cultural territory. Some very conservative people think that any vaginal penetration, by a tampon, finger, or anything, is losing your virginity. Every woman has a thin layer of skin at the opening of her vagina called the Hymen. When a woman has sex for the first time, it is torn (this is what causes the bleeding your grandmother is talking about). BUT!- it is not always intact until you lose your virginity. I did not know about the hymen at all, and actually broke it when i got my period when i was 12, when i inserted a tampon into my vagina for the first time. Since you have inserted things into your vagina, you no longer have your hymen, and may not bleed at all when you lose your virginity.

please write back with any questions!
-everyone should know about their own bodies and not have to feel scared or ashamed because they were not taught.