Drugged & Raped, what more can I do?

[ziggy1984]

Somebody please help me! I was raped a month ago and I have been suicidal about it ever since. An older brother of a very close friend of mine did this and I don't have the strength to go through with prosecuting him, because I remember very little. When I came to I felt like my abdomen was torn inside. I can't eat, sleep, or function correctly- I always fade off into sadness. No matter what I do to take my mind away from the situation, I am becoming a person who doesn't care about life. I have been to see a doctor and a counselor since then, but have not told my friends, family, or boyfriend. All the feelings that are coming up are even harder because I was molested as a teen and never told anyone. Now it seems like it's happening again, but worse. I'll be 24 soon, have an 11-month old daughter, and I don't want to neglect her in any way. I just want to be back like I use to be; I just don't feel clean anymore. I'm afraid of everything- from sleeping to having sex. I have very vivid dreams of this attack, but just flashes and very clear sounds. How long will this happen? What else can I do, besides seeing a therapist and journaling? I know I will be criticized for not going to the police if I ever tell those close to me. I'm a very private person and it's truly devastating me, mainly because I can still feel the affects in my pelvic area, despite being seen by a doctor and being given medicine.

[ziggy1984]

Thank you for this bit of advice- I really wish there was a "quick-fix" to calm my nerves; nothing really eases my mind about this. I guess I will simply have a long healing battle.

[ziggy1984]

Thank you for this bit of advice- I really wish there was a "quick-fix" to calm my nerves; nothing really eases my mind about this. I guess I will simply have a long healing battle.

[untold]

i think you really need to reconsider reporting him and facing your attacker. you may find you come out stronger for it.  and you may be stopping him from doing this to someone else.  if it were your daughter you'd want her to report it.

so sorry that this happened to you but the best thing is probably seeing a therapist that specializes in rape trauma.  there are rape crisis centers just about everywhere. they can help. you need to find something to gain your confidence and control back. if it isnt reporting him then maybe with therapy you may volunteer to help others who have been in your position.

[evthing4reason]

I'm so sorry you went through this. I think the only thing i can reccomend is seeing a therapist. I understand why you didn't go to the police. I wwas date raped on new years eve 9 yers ago.