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Avatar universal

I hate that I am a virgin

Hello I am 25yrs old and still a virgin and I feel extremely embarrassed about it, I have talked to my friends about it but they all just say "that's good, you should be proud of yourself" blah blah it doesn't help much because they all have had sex.( so they don't know what I am going through at all) And whats worse is my youngest sister has already had sex before me. But I do think I am picky about guys I don't have to be in love with the guy just care about him and like him and trust him that's all I really want. I hate feeling this way but I don't want to go out and do it with just any guy and feel horrible afterward. Also anytime I do start to make those steps toward doing it with a guy they end up being jerks or just give up because I took too long for them to wait for me to be ready. So I am stuck and don't no what to do.
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Avatar universal
Thank You for all of your input it does make me feel better now having reading all of what was said I will try and not see my virginity as a bad thing. My mom and my sisters tell me its not a big deal and why do I care so much but I just felt like I just want to get it over with. But I do care, I have just always said to myself I just haven't found anyone worth doing it with. So anyway Thank you every much!!!
Helpful - 0
188306 tn?1274132622
I was 21 years old when I lost my virginity and it was after I got married. I use to also hear my friends how they had sex when i was in high school. what they did and with whom. Some of my friends would say that they were in love when they did it. Some of the others would say they just did it b/c of peerpressure and wanted to get it over with. My husband was my first and he had 2 others before me. I was embarrassed too and thought I would never have that connection with anyone to give myself entirely. Time will come, you might find a guy that you contect with. Don't think and duel about it. The right guy will come around when you least expected. Sometimes we look very hard to find someone to feel the conection. If your values for yourself are strong that, conection will happend. Remember there is in attraction between 2 people that contects deeper than just sex. Think about what you want in a partner. if you click, if he makes you laugh, does he care about you, does he want you completely just the way you are. If things are just not happening for you. Change your options that you want on your partner. No one is perfect! It will happend when you least expected. Also the first time may be the most memorable for sex. It can be good or bad 2nd, 3rds etc.. will be better. There is still virgins out there. Your doing great hang in there! Don't feel pressure.... Also remember if you are not ready, your just not ready. If you think it might be something else that needs to be discuss other than this forum. Talk to a relationship doctor maybe there something deeper in you than can let go?  I'm just giving options..... hope this helps...good luck.   :o)
Helpful - 0
134578 tn?1693250592
COMMUNITY LEADER
About ten or twelve years ago, one of the girly mags (either Penthouse or Playboy) did their Playmate of the Year, and she was really hot and beautiful and sexy and she made something like $125 thousand bucks that year, and she was a virgin.  Virgin does not mean "unsexy."  

Be particular in your men, it's really about you having pride in yourself.  You certainly don't have to announce your status in a situation where you think it will be embarrassing if you don't want to.  Telling a man that you haven't found the right guy yet can be taken as a pleasant challenge (by him) to be that guy, not a shaming admission that you are too fussy.  

If you a guy is hassling you about sex, look mysterious and smile and say "It's not like I don't get gratification."  Those massagers are available at Walgreens for twenty-five bucks.  Then at least it's not like you've never had an orgasm.  LOL
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i can kind of relate to you now my husband and i have been together for 8 years and he is the only person i have ever been with. i am so proud of my self and its something i can brag about. now i will admit that some people will try to get to you and be like oh hes the only one you have been with you live a shelter life and you need to go out and test the waters you dont know what you are missing. but i look at it this way i love that bond that i have with my husband and i dont care how other guys will be b/c my husband gives me all i need. know even though we did not wait until we was married i did make sure he was the one for me and i had no doubt in my heart before i gave it to him. you will know who that one is b/c i date one guy for a year and another for 2 years off and on and never did anything with them other than kiss them. now my husband i am not his first but he tells me that he wishes that i was. and if someone asked him has he ever been with anyone other than me he will say no. if i was you i will hold on to it just a little long and wait for that guy. believe me you will love to have that special bond with them and it will be a great thing to tell your kids when they get older and thinking about having sex. there has been plenty of times i will go out with a group of my friends and there friends and we will have a girls night out and like always the subject about sex comes up. they all start talking about all the people they have been with and i will come out and say that i have only been with one and its my husband at first they wont believe me then they all start saying they wish they did. just listen to that old saying be a leader not a follower
Helpful - 0
908392 tn?1316522899
Waiting until marriage just isn't popular in our day and age and so you showing that much strength to wait, shows that you have morals and you honor yourself. That's more respectable then those who just have sex for fun or because they think they are in love.

I think you should wait. It'll be really special to do it with someone you love. And love takes time - you just have to wait. People who did it without even thinking regret it after and I'm sure you don't want that feeling.  Just relax the time will come...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, I think that what u have been able to do is great. My advice is to just hang in there.The guy who will love u for u and not just the sex will come around. Not many people men or women can do what u have done. Having sex is not all its cracked up to be. Good luck.
Helpful - 0
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