Avatar universal

My Labia Tear Feels Like an Ulcer

I recently had unprotected sex with a new partner. Which in itself is stupid.
During foreplay, he was very rough orally and was placing a lot of pressure on my clitoris. He also has some beard scruff.
I was sore the next day but just figured it was from the tougher sex, and no lube used.
A day or so later the soreness increased a bit. I noticed a small tear on my clitoral hood and that one of my labia minora was swollen and red. It looked like there was some skin scraped off maybe. so not quite a year but almost like a rug burn, if you will. I applied Neosporin to it.
A day later , still no relief. I began applying hydrocortisone cream. I felt like that actually made it worse. So I stopped at the store.and bought Epsom salt and began soaking in the bath a few times a day. then I would apply coconut oil to the area. This actually felt like it was helping a bit but the skin lesion was still present  
I went and bought Bactine spray with Lidocaine to help with the pinching pain I would feel sometimes. That also helped after the initial burn of the spray would subside.
I wrote my doctor and she advised not to soak in the salt bath, or any bath at all if it's a tear. she advised that I use vaseline to create a barrier and just wash lightly in the shower.
The area is still swollen. But the lesion started looking like they were healing maybe? They resembled more of an ulcer at this point.
The irritation is confined to one area, and not spreading. It is mainly near my Clitoris and right below. I have no issues, pain, ulcers, etc near my vagina.

Now, I am also a symptom researcher, so naturally I am.now petrified that I have herpes. My and the guy did talk.about testing and he said he had just been tested two months prior.

I am freaking out. The fact that is has been a week and it isn't healed is scaring me. But I also was doing everything wrong for the first few days.

Has anyone had anything similar or can offer any insight? I keep trying to convince myself it's just some skin that was scrapped off due to his beard (when I say the oral sex was agressive, I mean to the point it wasn't even enjoyable). There was never any bumps or Fluid filled blisters at all. It basically started as a red cut-like appearance and is now turning white. When I think of a canker sore healing that's sort of the same idea  

I have an appointment in the morning to get tested and have the doctor look at it. I'm just freaking out and looking for any advice.
8 Responses
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134578 tn?1614729226
I don't think it is herpes, I think it's an abrasion. You expected it to heal in a week? That seems pretty fast.
Helpful - 0
That’s what I am praying that it is. Anytime I’ve had any sort of irritation before it heals pretty quickly. So the fact that this basically got worse over a few days worried me the most, but again, I was doing things wrong as well.
When I tried to research, naturally herpes kept popping up as an option so it has been scaring the daylights out of me, since it was unprotected sex.
But I do not have anything around my vagina or mouth, which his penis touched that night as well.
Thank you for your reply.! I’m hoping the doctor confirms that it is an abrasion this morning as well.
Avatar universal
He possibly could have scraped you with his teeth since you mentioned he was rough. If you were to get a herpes test, you should have done it within 48 hrs of seeing the lesion. The doctor could have swabbed it and sent it off for testing. If the lesion is almost healed, it would not be enough dna for the doctor to test for herpes. You can get a blood test, but it will test for antibodies for herpes 1&2 but if you ever had a cold sore ever, it will show antibodies for herpes 1. So if you don’t have any more lesions or bumps that itch, more than likely you don’t have herpes. You can take blood test after 4 weeks or more after unprotected exposure but the swab of the lesion before 48 hrs would have been a more accurate test.
Helpful - 0
Thanks for your reply. The lesions were not healed, which is why being a week out I was getting very nervous. But again, I think I was applying things and doing treatment incorrectly which may have made it worse.

I did go in today. She actually took pictures of it to monitor any changes because she herself said that it was sort of odd. She did mention that it did not traditionally look like herpes, but prescribed Valtrex to be safe. Along with Lidocaine cream to help with the pain.

I had the blood work done today, but she did inform me that if this is a first exposure issue it won’t show yet. We are basically trying to rule if I do have HSV1 and this was just a random outbreak. I’ve never had a cold sore in my life though, but I guess you never know.

I have an appointment to go back in a week and should have blood test results then. God willing, the lesions should be more heard by then too.

I was put at some ease that she said it doesn’t really look like herpes. It is more of one large lesion, and not a cluster of them. However, she made sure to let me know that she still isn’t sure.

I was also tested for other STDs too, so fingers crossed on those all being negative as well.

Searching online just made my mind race. I can’t tell you how many hours I looked at photos and read articles. I know that its so bad for your psyche but I have been so worried.

Again, thank you for your reply to my message. I’ve been too embarrassed to talk to any friends or family about what is going on, so this place has been a good outlet.
You don’t have anything to worry about and doing researching online might not be good if it’s going to stress you. It sounds like a cut and you never described it as itching so it’s probably not herpes. The doctor can’t eye it and tell you what it is, they can only go by a test. Do keep in mind in the future that a person with herpes can spread it without even having an outbreak. Studies have shown it’s rare for someone to contract it with one encounter, and you mentioned it was a random new partner. Do start using condoms because that can offer some protection, and use Saran Wrap during oral sex. It feels the same and might seem awkward at first but you have to protect yourself. If the person is having an outbreak don’t have sex with them at all. Anyway, you wouldn’t need to take that Valtrex without a test result that you have been diagnosed with herpes. If it did show up as herpes you would need to get a western blot exam as a follow up  which is known to be more accurate. Anyway, I don’t think you have anything to worry about and hopefully you will have a good report on all your tests.
973741 tn?1342342773
If it were me, I'd get checked out.  While herpes may be doubtful, it could also be going on. You just don't know.  You could have had the abrasion AND gotten herpes.  Blisters and sores can be just that.  A doctor often can visually inspect and tell you if they think it looks like it. Then they can test you.  Go get tested.  Let us know.
Helpful - 0
Thank you for your reply. I went yesterday morning. The ulcers were still open so she was able to swab and I also took a blood test to see if maybe I already had the virus in my system, seeing that it wouldn’t show from this encounter so soon.

She did say that it doesn’t traditionally look Like herpes, but did prescribe Valtrex just in case. She said it was a pretty unusual look and actually took pictures of it. It’s sort of in an odd spot, like the inside of my labia minora below my clitoris but above my vagina opening.

I have to stop myself from googling because every Night that I go home I continue to freak myself out even more. She said it can be 3-4 days for the results so I’m trying to be patient and just pray.

I have had no type of fevery feelings until I started actually taking the Valtrex. Which could be psychosomatic, but also seems to be a side effect.

I will keep you all posted. I appreciate this being a safe space to discuss and receive feedback!
207091 tn?1337709493
Do you know what kind of blood test you got? You should have gotten a type specific IgG herpes blood test.

Do you know if she did a type specific culture on it? That's the best she can do - it will tell you if this is herpes, and what type it is.

Getting a herpes sore the next day is too soon. The minimum time from infection to symptoms is 2 days, but this could be an established infection you didn't know you had and something  - the rough sex, maybe - triggered an outbreak. The tricky part will come in if you test positive for hsv1, but didn't get a type specific culture. You could have an oral infection of hsv1, but something else genitally, and the blood test doesn't tell you what you have where.

Can you call her and ask her if she ordered a type-specific culture? She can probably call the lab and ask them to do that if she didn't already.

Don't panic yet. You've put a lot of stuff on it, and your genitals don't like hydrocortisone, especially. Much of what you used wasn't made for the genital area, so it could just be an abrasion made worse by what you put on it, or the mix of what you put on it.

You said your partner had recently been tested. Do you know if herpes was included in that testing? It often isn't.

Hang in there - whatever it is, you're going to be fine. :)
Helpful - 0
Thank you for your response. It was an iGg blood test. She basically said she wanted to rule out of I already had it. I’ve never had a cold sore or any genital sores before, but I know that doesn’t mean I didn’t have the virus already.

I do not know if there was a specific culture test done, but she did scrape the lesion on my clitoris and the one off to the side. She said they were specifically being tested in a way that would tell us if it was hsv 1 or 2. So I’m hoping that is the culture test you are speaking of?

I didn’t have the sores the next day necessarily but was extremely sore from the over aggressive oral sex. And swollen. It felt and looked like the skin was raw or cut maybe.
It’s just scaring me now that it is looking more like ulcers, but like you mentioned, that could be from all of the things I was putting on it that I shouldn’t have been. That is my hope at least.

It was more than a week later that I went in to see her and was still very swollen and sore, so she did give me lidocaine to help. And told me to use aquafor as a barrier if I needed, especially when urinating. Luckily it is in a spot that I can almost always avoid when I have to use the restroom, but if she stream hits it is very painful.

I don’t know if he was tested for herpes or not. And apparently that isn’t a standard test, which I was unaware of, but know more now that I have been researching. Every time I have had STD testing and asked for “everything” I thought that was included, especially when I do a blood test. It’s very interesting to me that it is not included.

I know this might not mean much, but he has still been communicating with me on a normal basis and acting normal. I don’t want to bring anything up until I get my results back and know for sure. Again, still praying that this is just an abrasion gone wrong.

Thank you so much for your response and advice. I am trying to keep my mind occupied but it is tough to do. I appreciate you taking the time to respond!
It's awesome that she did everything right. Not all doctors do - so many don't.

Lidocaine will help a lot, no matter what is causing the sore. If it does start to hurt while you urinate, and don't want to fuss with the aquafor, you can get a latex glove, and use your hand to cover the area while you pee. You can also get one of those squirty water bottles and squirt water over the area as you pee to help dilute the acid in your urine. (It's the acid that makes it hurt, so make sure you're drinking plenty of water if it starts to hurt.) I realize it's in a spot where urinating won't likely be an issue, but I wanted to tell you this before it does, just in case.

The IgG test is what you want, and it sounds like she did a type specific culture.

Is this someone you've been dating? Is there a reason you wouldn't tell him? At the very least, the rough oral sex caused this, and you don't have to be all accusing, but he should know you're going through this. A simple, "hey just wanted to let you know this, I've seen a doctor for a sore on my clitoris. It may be just from the rough oral sex, or it may be herpes. Have you ever tested for that?" would work. Since you're testing so early and it won't appear on your blood test unless you have an established infection, him getting a blood test may go a long way in figuring out what you have. If he doesn't have either type, then you can probably rule that out as a cause for this. It would also be a good start to open communication in the relationship, if a relationship is your goal.

Unless, of course, you don't know him well enough to trust him yet. Your emotional and physical safety are most important.

Keeping busy is a good idea, but whatever happens, you're going to be fine, I promise. We'll help get you through it.
Thank you so much for your support.

The iGg test came back negative. And another result came through as positive for hsv1. The doctors notes said that the “blood test was positive but the culture test was not returned yet” - however from what I concluded from the notes on the results, I think she mistakenly put the swab culture results up which show the positive result for HSV1 on the sores. Of course I don’t know for sure until my appointment on Wednesday, but I’m pretty sure that’s what happened.

I’m pretty shaken up about it, but I’ve been researching and reading so much that I also feel like I’m at least well informed now.

As far as the guy goes, I don’t think it is something I trust him with yet. I’ve known him for a while but more as an acquaintance than anything. I’m sort of unsure Of how to even bring it up anyway. If it is hsv1, it’s so common that it’s likely he had no idea he even had it. Or knows that he can pass it on. Especially through oral sex.
I’m just confused about the whole scenario and how to go about it.

My sores are still pretty bad, even after being on the Valtrex. I did start taking a sitz bath with salt and vinegar added (doc recommendation) which actually feels like it’s soothing it a bit. But I am still having to apply lidocaine multiple times a day. Nothing is “crusting” over or anything tho. So all of my symptoms haven’t really lined up with what I’ve ready. But leave it to me to be atypical.

I’m just upset with myself for being irresponsible. I never realized how easily this virus can be spread though. I am shocked that it isn’t regularly tested for too. I always thought when I was getting STD tests at my appointments that it was including hsv, but it wasn’t. So I would imagine with this partner when he says he was “tested” recently it was for everything but this.

You're saying that the doctor said only the blood test came up positive, but you are sure the doctor made a mistake and it was the swab culture test that came up positive? Why do you think this? I ask because it sounds like if the blood test came up positive, it would be saying you already had this before the sexual activity in question.
Annie- the only reason I am suspecting this is because I read the results on the portal. The iGg results showed both hsv1 and hsv2 were negative.
The other result was from a PCR test, which is from the swab from what I read.

Again, I haven’t spoken to my doctor and have just been reading what is on my portal. So I guess there is a possibility I am reading the results incorrectly. But from what I see, I don’t think so. BUT I’m not a doctor.

My mind is just racing and all over the place at this point. Trying to keep myself from going crazy before my appointment this week.  
Worry is like this.  Like a spiral.  Ugh.  But am I missing something?  I see you writing that the results said negative for hsv 1 and 2.  
@specialmom - it’s a definite spiral! I used to be on anti-anxiety medication but recently came off of it, and boy do I miss it right now!

my appointment is on Wednesday and I’ll be able to talk to the doctor then. I’m going off of what I’m reading in my portal for my results. What I am reading, and the note my doctor sent me contradict each other so I’m still in limbo of knowing the true results.
It might be that you are making a mistake in assuming the swab tested for the one thing and the blood tests tested for the other. In my world, a blood test can cover a lot of things, and so can a swab. Try not to jump to conclusions and scare yourself, there is plenty of time for that if the doctor says something that is worrisome. You're not a doc. Try to stay relaxed.
So you're appointment is tomorrow?

Get a copy of the results - all the results, and post them in the herpes forum - https://www.medhelp.org/forums/Herpes/show/195 - and we'll wade through them.

If your IgG results are negative, and the PCR swab is positive, that means you have a new infection. The IgG blood test looks for established infections (though it can take as little as 2 weeks for your body to develop antibodies). If this is the case, this means you have a true primary outbreak - you don't have either hsv1 or hsv2 outbreaks, and have a brand new infection. This can make your first outbreak more severe. If it is hsv1, your recurrences won't be this bad.

In any case, talk it over with your doctor, and let us know. I can give you tons of info on transmission, etc., too.

Don't worry about telling your partner yet, though he is your source, unless you've had another partner in the past few weeks. Most likely, he doesn't know he has hsv1 - 90% of those with oral hsv1 don't get symptoms and don't know they have it.

You're going to be fine, whatever the results say. :)
134578 tn?1614729226
Do you intend to keep seeing him? In your shoes, I wouldn't want to, the sex being that rough sounds pretty unappealing.
Helpful - 0
She definitely doesn’t need to sleep with him anymore at least.
I honestly haven’t even thought that far. My mind has been so hung up on this, my only thoughts are on my health.

But now that you ask, I think it’s pretty clear that I won’t. He’s a nice enough guy, and I think it had gotten out of hand because we had been drinking (hence my poor decision making). But it definitely wasn’t an experience I would want to repeat.
Avatar universal
You definitely need to find out what test showed the hsv 1, because if it was the blood test that showed it, that would mean you had already possibly acquired it, and your body had enough antibodies to show it in a blood test. Your body wouldn’t have had enough antibodies to have shown it with the new partner because you had the blood test done before 4 weeks. If the swab test showed it, which is a more accurate test if you tested within 48-72 hrs after seeing those lesions, then you possibly got the hsv 1 from your partner during oral sex. You mentioned you had unprotected penetration as well, and the swab of your lesions didn’t show hsv 2, so it was probably from his mouth/oral sex that you contracted it. Just to make sure you don’t have any false positive tests going on, you might want to follow up with the western blot exam. You definitely need to say something to him to let him know. He doesn’t need to infect anyone else if you did contract something from him. If he knew he had it, he shouldn’t have had unprotected sex with you.
Helpful - 0
Thanks for your reply. I will know more on Wednesday and be able to figure it all out then hopefully.

I do plan to tell him once I have all the facts. I don’t want to bring it up until then though.
Avatar universal
Also, was he the only guy you have been sleeping with recently? Not to ask anything personal but if there are other partners those are some things you need to take into consideration as well. Hope all is well with you and that you get better soon.
Helpful - 0
No, he’s not. There is one other person I have been sleeping with for about 6 months but we never were “official” so I don’t know if he is sleeping with other women.
He’s going to be the one that is toughest to talk to about this, depending on what my results show.

But again, I just have to wait until Wednesday.

Thankfully the sores are starting to heal. There has been NO crusting or scabbing of any kind, which from everything I’ve read is not how these things heal, so that just leaves me even more confused.
There’s a possibility you might have contracted it from the guy you have been sleeping with on a continuous basis. The one night stand guy might not have exposed you to it. You had more of a risk with the man you slept with on a continuous basis. Anyway, you really don’t know until you start asking some questions to both of the partners. Glad you are getting better! Don’t stress out or worry. Everything will be fine!
That is very true. I guess I just assumed it was from this last guy because of the timing. But I could be wrong.
I am hoping the doctor can help clarify tomorrow.

Thank you for your support!
134578 tn?1614729226
I *think* I'm understanding from what you wrote that you got a positive result for HSV1, but you don't know whether it is for oral herpes or genital herpes.  If it turns out that it is the oral type, it's logical that your doctor was trying to rule out whether you had it already, because it is very common, and also common for people to have gotten it in childhood. It doesn't always manifest as cold sores.

When reading your posts, I keep thinking of the psychological phenomenon in which something dramatic happens and another thing happens, and the person to whom both things happen assumes the second thing came from the first thing.  (I.e., the sex was rough and you regret it was unprotected, you subsequently got a positive herpes test, therefore you had to have gotten herpes when you had the rough, unprotected sex that you feel bad about, not from earlier tender, loving sex and not from childhood exposure.) I know you aren't saying that all the time, but you sigh and are anxious and mention your regret. That seems premature. If you got it in childhood from a kiss from grannie, why regret?  And why waste time thinking about what to say to the guy, until you know FOR SURE what you need to say to him? It might be that you have to tell him you had the oral herpes virus well before you met him, not that he gave you anything. Don't sweat it until you know.

Best wishes for the talk with the doctor. :)

Helpful - 0
Thanks Annie.

I am an anxious person in general, so this has just caused a spiral. I’ve been doing lots of research - some of which is encouraging, some not so much. Finding communities like this is really great though.

If the HSV1 is something I already had, honestly that might be a relief, because then I’ve been living with it this whole time anyway!

My appointment is tomorrow morning so I will get answers for sure and can determine my next steps.

And I understand why you’re saying. Every time I feel anything tingle or itch on my part of my body how I start to worry. For instance I’ve been convincing myself I Have Herpetic whitlow on my thumb for the last few days. Not sure if it is or not, but it’s like as soon as I find out what that is I start thinking I have it. I swear I know better than to do this to myself, but I can’t help it sometimes. I’ve been doing what I can to keep a positive attitude though.

I will keep you all posted after my appointment tomorrow. I appreciate the caring, kind people in this forum. You are all amazing! Thank you!
Herpetic whitlow is painful and obvious. Show your doctor. Do you have blisters there?
Would love to hear what your doc had to say. Good news, I hope?
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