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Vaginal and anal fissures

Last year I randomly started getting anal fissures after a bowel movement and vaginal tearing after sex. At first they were sporadic but fast forward a year and I have vaginal tearing every single time I have sex, no matter how 'into it' I am or how much lube etc.. And I get anal fissures about three times a month. I have seen numerous gynaecologists and doctors and no one has any answers for me. Recently I was told they are sure the two are related and I will have to live with them as there is no cure. Surely this isn't right?! I'm going crazy with the thought of never having a normal sex life again or being able to go to the toilet without being in pain. They have told me to use a hydrocortisone cream inside my vagina and keep using the gtn ointment for my anal fissures.
Does anyone have any advice? I have googled all sorts trying to find people who have suffered both of these things and think they are related but I can't find anything! I already use hydrocortisone for eczema and I just don't see how it's going to help but of course I will try.
Another thing they suggested was a mild anaesthetic to numb the area that tears so I don't feel the pain during sex but I don't really see that being a good long term solution?

Also not sure if this matters but I don't have never have had anal sex.

Thanks in advance
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