Webcam Girls???? Help Please!

[AshD409]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now.  I am 21 and he is 25.  Since we have been together, everything has been great! I have never doubted anything by any means and I am sure he hasn't himself.  We have talked about moving in and a future together, etc, etc.  A few weeks ago, he openly told me that he watches girls on those webcam sites while masturbating.  I told him I didn't really like the thought of it, but that was that, and the conversation ended.  Last week I was at his house in the shower, and when I came out he was on the computer and I walked in again to see him on this website watching a girl on her webcam. He immediately shut it down like he was embarassed, but I told him to open it again so I can see exactly what it is (plus I also wanted to put him in his place!!!!). We have a great sex life together, and we have watched porn together before as well. However; I just feel like watching girls on webcams is a much more personal thing, and who knows to what it could lead to next? Am I overreacting? Is this considered "cheating"? Does anyone think it can lead to more?

Any help or advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[AshD409]

Yes I am definitely glad that he told me about what he was doing.  It's a good thing he is open and honest.  From what he has said, he doesn't message/chat with the girls..... but still in my head I'm thinking "WHATS STOPPPPING HIM?!" and I know in the end it all boils down to trust- and I DO trust him.. the whole situation just makes me sick to think about.

[missmandi83]

I think this is a pretty common thing. I know a lot of guys who have admitted to looking at those site. It really depends on your idea of cheating. I think if they are just looking at the girls or their pictures than its ok. I dont think its ok if a bf pays to be on these sites, or if the girls can see them...that takes it too far. also, chatting can be ok but it really depends on what is being said. its one thing to tell a girl she's sexy and its another to go into detail about things they want done...cyber sex is not ok with me. Maybe try to compromise or set some rules..you can even use it as a chance to fool around although you may not get anything out of it but im sure he would enjoy it

[molefreckle]

You know i went through the same thing with my bf.. we are older than you i am 37 he is 41... he did masterbate to those sites himself.. i was not happy about it myself either.. I think it is a male thing in my opinion and I believe if he knows it bothers you then he should try to refrain from it.. at least he did tell you about it.. give him that credit.. now does he chat with these girls on the cams? If so that is a problem.. I know how u feel.. it hurts.. it hurt me when I found out my bf was doing it.. i felt like i was not enough for him and i did not please him.. before me he was single for 5 yrs so i know that is what he did in the past but it still hurt me because i felt like he had me here and didnt need those sites.. he chatted with these girls too and that crushed me.. i think the cam sites are to personal.. i would much rather him watch porn.. the internet is scary to me.. alot of temptation.. so he did stop as he knew it bothered me... it took time tho

[bigsissie]

I think your problem with it stems from the fact that he hid it from you and you are not participating when he does it. If you think about it the only difference between webcam girls and porn is a script and the amount of people. I think you need to ask yourself if you would have a problem if your bf admitted to masturbating to porn. You are wanting to be involved while he is doing his own thing. What could it lead to, everything and nothing, you have to trust your bf that is what it comes down to.  Every ones definition of cheating is different. You need to sit down with your bf and tell him you have a problem with it and work it out with him or not. Trust answers all of your other questions. Best of luck to you.

Sissie