Hi, I decided to post on your original thread as I saw you are writing on someone else's thread who was having issues with libido so this is still really a huge issue for you. I'm sorry about that sweetie! Is your boyfriend being upset about it and not understanding? I do know it can feel a little insulting to a man and bruise the ego but wish they could evolve a bit and know it isn't all about them. I had a funny moment with a man while I was pregnant. He is an older man I know well but was a little shocked when he said to me as I was 9 months pregnant "don't forget your husband. A bottle of baby oil and your hand can work just fine for him". Um, wowie! I was in shock. But message received. during the low libido time, just get the job done!
You were having pain during intercourse and had talked about seeing your doctor for it. Still think this is a really important thing to do.
Another question for you, how is the non sexual intimacy with your boyfriend? Meaning, how close are you beyond sex? Do you also hold hands, connect emotionally, etc? Doctors say the other reasons for low libido could be diet, exercise, stress and fatigue. It's rarely one factor. That it is painful though really does make it difficult. and the psychological component with that is huge too. You almost dread it now, I'm sure.
What about planning a date to connect with your boyfriend with no expectation of sex? Do you ever do that?
Also... I am always in pain whilst having sex so it’s probably that that’s putting me off...?
Our hormones can do this. You just had a baby and it is hard to et the sexy back sometimes after that! I've been there. Baby care is tiring and it is hard to switch modes. You just kind of have to try to ease into it. Life changes and arousal is not like it was before we had a lot of responsibility, a partner that we wish would do more dishes and house cleaning to help out, a baby in the next room and we are tired. Ya know? And again, you've had a baby not long ago and that does wreak havoc on hormones. ARe you nursing by the way? My libido didn't really come back until I was through nursing.
On another note, how are things with you and your husband, how are you getting along?
Lube is made for a reason. It says nothing about you and by the time your my age, hardly a woman doesn't have to use it. No joke. As we lose estrogen as we age, we lose vaginal wetness. So, keep in mind that it is not a statement about you or how much you want to be with your partner. good luck