Sweetie, it's normal, and not gross. Yes, women's genitals look different than the little vulva they had as girls. And some women who work in porno films have taken to getting surgery to reduce the size of their labia, which makes some young women feel like their natural package is not attractive. But the unfortunate reason women in porn go through genital surgery is that it makes them look like little girls, which is appalling because it means that somewhere, someone has decided there is a market for watching men have sex with little girls. If there really are men out there who prefer little girls, you don't want one of those men, and I'm not sure it's really a preference a lot of men have.
Please trust that the way your body grows is the way it is supposed to grow, and that for millennia men have found women's bodies attractive and erotic. (If they hadn't, there would no longer be a human race, right?) I once told my husband that MedHelp occasionally hears from a teenager who thinks her genitals are ugly, and he said, "Honey, if a guy is fortunate enough to be looking labia in the face, he's not making judgements, he's just thinking he's lucky."
You know, our anatomy just is. We all have our own unique look in the genitals. And the man that loves you for you will be thrilled with the way you look there. So, why do you have to fish out tampons? do the strings not hang down?? It's not supposed to take a lot of work to get them out. :>)