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Avatar universal

Wrong way of masturbating?

I am 20 years old and i have been doing masturbation from a long time.
Ever since i was an early teenager, i realised that i can reach satisfaction just by rubbing my clitoris with the aid of lubricant and hands. To be precise, it never involved any insertion in vagina since the stimulation always led me to an orgasmish feeling.
When i was 19, i had my very first intercourse where i remember that no bleeding occured. And i believe than i was unaware of any feeling of orgasm even when my partner felt that i was suddenly all cooled down. I excreted the vaginal liquid as its supposed to be but personally i never felt any firework type of an experience.
That was the only time i had sex and from then till now, all i can do to myself is masturbate in the same way as mentioned ( no insertion involved by any means).
My questions are , why i didn't bled? my way or masturbation does seem to be one than can break the virginity... or does it?
2. Why i didn't felt an orgasm during my first ever intercourse? Could it be that i never had one? or that i had it without even knowing?
3. Since the time i had the intercourse, i feel arouse very often but i am scared for how frequently i am masturbating.
Since i can get satisfied within 2 - 3 minutes of self stimulation, i have reached a number of upto 7 orgasms (or that feeling of getting relaxed) at a time. I reach an orgasm and within few seconds i am ready for another go. Can i be over doing myself?
I belong to a nation where sex isn't an open topic to talk about.... so guys please help me!
And one last thing, i really feel great doing myself this way.... can it be that i will never be able to reach an orgasm with a man since i am too easy to reach one by myself?
I need advice.. desperately!
8 Responses
Avatar universal
Also, every time i reach orgasm through masturbation, i feel an urge to pee.... does it make it obvious that what i had was an orgasm... i mean i can't really distinguish between an intense orgasm or an mild one.... i hope you guys are getting me...
3 Comments
The older you get the better sex gets. Hang in there. You also need a less selfish partner. You need a lover who is a man, not a little selfish boy. You need a man who is mature enough and caring enough to ALWAYS make sure you have 2 or 3 orgasms before he goes for intercorse and for his very fast orgasm.  A good lover takes you to that awesome point we’re you feel you’re gonna explode or die from pleasure if you have one more orgasm. When you start begging him to stop, that’s when he can go in and give you another orgasm with him inside (which feels totally different than the first ones) that’s the type of lover you need and every woman out there has to educate/train her man to not be a selfish loser.  
What a good old thread
wow, how do you do that?  Ive only experienced a point of insane ectasy right before the orgasm but it goes on and on for hours, not really a continuous one .  I hope this makes snese.  how do you get passed that annoying tingling feeling  to keep going on?
Avatar universal
I'm also 20 and when I was 15 I lost my virginity. I didn't bleed either or have an orgasm the first time. It felt good and all, but now that I know what an orgasm is, I can say that I didn't have one then. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years so we have a better idea of what each other likes. And I always feel like I have to pee after sex.

Hormones have a big factor on your sex drive. I had problems with my birth control, long story, but my hormones were a little crazy and I wanted to have sex everyday. I felt a little out of control.

I'm not sure what you mean when you say your partner said you were "all cooled down" afterwards. And since your masturbation only includes the clitoris, you may not know how else to get an orgasm. You know what you like that's why it's so easy for you to have an orgasm when you masturbate. When I lost my virginity I didn't know what I would like, I hadn't masturbated before. It took awhile, but i figured it out.

I don't know how much sex you've had since your first time but I wouldn't be worried if I were you. Try new things with your partner or whoever you feel comftorable with. Different foreplay, positions, whatever you want. You'll get a better idea of what you like and have more fun.

Regardless, always have safe sex and have regular gyno appointments. If your really stressed, see your doctor.
641819 tn?1240325930
It is very common for women to reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation rather than vaginal penetration. It is not uncommon for women therefore not to orgasm unless the partner is helping stimulate the clitoris. Plus then you had a lot of stresses there - first time etc. I don't know about you, but I can't reach orgasm when I'm stressed out or worrying about something.

It is also not unusual for women to not bleed. Many women tear the hymen (the thin membrane that blocks or partially blocks the vagina) when they are young by normal activity or by inserting tampons. So again - that's totally normal and ok. You were a virgin. Stimulating your clitoris through mastrubation didn't do anything as far as that goes.

Mastrubating is a totally normal and healthy activity so long as you are taking care not to injure yourself (simply by chaffing it or what not). Don't feel guilty about it.

Men often need a bit of a helping hand in learning what you like. Don't be scared to speak up in a gentle guiding fashion to show him what works for you. They like to please you.

And as said, above all, make sure that you are having safe sex ;).
Avatar universal
That pee sensation could also be squirting. (Google it) and its perfectly normal.
2 Comments
Back in the '60's, my girlfriend called that her "waterfall." It's also called "micturition." Once upon a time, before Christianization demonized sexual intercourse, there were cultures in which a woman was not felt to have had an orgasm, unless she also had a waterfall. In another, now-extinct culture, after a girl menstruated the first time, she was sent to her father's oldest sister's husband to be taught about sex. After a boy had his first nocturnal emission, he was sent to his mother's oldest brother's wife to be taught about sex. Of course, Christian missionaries found this custom to be the most disgusting, accursed form of sin, after blasphemy and murder.
Now... he said taught about sex. Assuming he meant that in this culture they begin sexual education after those milestones, then it's actually a good idea. If he meant having sex with children then everything Haleyscomet99 said is spot on
Avatar universal
Hey girly I too am. A clitoris masturbator I don’t need insertion nor do I like it. Did u feel pain during sex the first time. I’d be amazed if u orgasmed the first time through sex me personally I don’t orgasm through sex often don’t worry it’s perfectly normal as for the not bleeding part I hear some women don’t bleed the first time. I bled like two drops so technically I didn’t really bleed either. We’re all different but if your worried about it you can talk to your ongyn as someone who is a lot like u might I suggest having your guy stroke your clit as u guys have sex your much more likely to achieve organ best of luck
Avatar universal
When I lost my virginity I didn’t find no bleeding either and it wasn’t as much enjoyable but when I masturbate I seem to rub my clitoroise a lot and when I’m on verge of have an orgasm insert a few fingers and I always *** and it is really enjoyable I love playing with myself but when I have intercourse no one can make me moan or orgasm the way I make myself do, it’s pretty weird isn’t it how you know how to make yourself orgasm but you will find someone in the mean time to give you great pleasure
2 Comments
So many men are ignorant when it comes to satisfying women. If you want to experience with a man the intensity that you experience alone, it's important that you teach him what makes you feel good. If you're intimate enough to be having sex with someone, you should be able to talk about it with him.
Hi hillary2551, good advice.  Communication is key in a relationship, isn't it?
Avatar universal
6/18/19  (Im an RN, BS) Millee,  you really need to go to the library or go on Amazon & read books about the COMPLEX female anatomy &  THE COMPLEX WAY IN WHICH WE ORGASM.  Men have inly "1 button" to push & 1 way to *** ... & they're done. They are rather simple creatures, kind of like amoebas.  Bleeding has NOTHING to do with orgasms.  90% of all women NEVER experience an orgasm with penile penetration.  The penis is no where near the 4 areas where a woman can initiate an orgasm.  Penetration feels great ... but for 90%  it wont give them  the big "O."    The clitoris is a LARGE ORGAN -about 4" long" -  that is located in our entire crotch or "saddle" area.  Its  very close to the skin & it is bifurcated & is on both sides of the vagina.  FIRST PLACE & MOST COMMON FOR A WOMAN TO  GET AN ORGASM/S:  It takes a woman at least 20 minutes of EXTERNAL clitoral stimulation (the tiny, visible nub of that large organ) before she orgasms.  Some "have just one & are done" - other lucky ones can have up to 20.  A man SHOULD KNOW THIS, if he doesnt ...TELL HIM &  also refer him to websites & the books YOU are reading (or  dump him!).  A man should orally & manually stimulate her ENTIRE crotch, not just the  nub of the clitoris, to get her fully aroused.  Once that happens & she cums (& possibly cums  & cums again) & she's possibly finished .... then & only them should he dare try penile penetration.  By that time, she will be VERY receptive to this & he can *** & then everybody should be happy.  SECOND PLACE A WOMAN CAN ORGASM:  The  "G spot."  Some experts say this is merely the back side of the clitoris. Others insist it's a separate organ. It can only truly be stimulated with fingers ... the penis just passes right on by.  The G spot is
located about 2-3" into the vagina & has a distinct feel to it - rather spongy.  The man (or partner) can easily find this with his fingers & begin to GENTLY stimulate it using 1 or 2 fingers  in a "come here" motion.  This orgasm FEELS TOTALLY DIFFERENT THAN THE EXTERNAL CLITORAL ONE.  Again, it takes about 20 minutes before things start to happen. Most women state they feel like they have to pee after too much stimulation. That is because it is on the urethra - the opening where urine come out.  IF STIMULATING THE G SPOT CAUSES  PAIN ... STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY!  If it is just annoying or scary ... keep going  because  THIS IS THE ONLY AREA IN WHICH FEMALE EJACULATION CAN OCCUR. ("Squirting")  [Whoever said this is called "micturition" is 100% WRONG!  Micturition is the medical term for urination or peeing!   Big difference!]  When a woman is about to have an ejaculatory/squirting ORGASM  her vagina will swell & violently spasm, pushing any object out of it -penis, fingers, sex toy & then ejeculation/SYSTEMIC ORGASM  will happen.  What comes out can be as small as a trickle to maybe up to 1/4 of a cup of fliud.   Again, tests have proven it is NOT urine/pee that is expelled.  G spot orgasms are deep & systemic- felt throughout the entire body, unlike clitoral orgasms, which are only felt regionally - in the crotch area.  G spot "O's" also cause intense shaking.  THE 3rd & 4th PLACES A WOMAN CAN EXPERIENCE ORGASMS:  NOTE:  95% of women DO NOT LIKE THEIR CERVIXES RAMMED JAMMED WITH ANYTHING & DONT LIKE THEM. TOUCHED.  IT IS PAINFUL.  Only  YOU know if you are one of the rare 5% that gets off that way.  However ..... There is a gem of an area  at the very top of the vagina located right UNDER  the cervix.  This area is called  the  Anterior & Posterior Fornices (singular - "fornix").   Again, the average &
even above average penis CANNOT reach this area, let alone  stimulate it  correctly. This can be done with very long fingers or a sex toy.  The orgasms experienced via either fornix, or both, has been reported as earth shattering & women actually make a very different noise when she begins to orgasm.  It has been repeatedly described at gutteral, growling, raspy moaning & animalistic. Not all women have  a fornix area that is sexually responsive, so dont be depressed or think there is something wrong with you if time after time nothing happens.  Thats just how you're wired.  Remember, men only have ONE ... JUST 1 ... way of cuming/orgasming.  We women have 5 KNOWN ways - right now.  (I did not discuss the uterine orgasm - #5 -  as that is actually a post-orgasm orgasm.  It is meant to ensure pregnancy occurs - "propigation of the species")   Im 65 years old & part of the first generation to be taught "sex ed" in school in 1964.  It shocks me that after all these decades girls/women know LESS about their bodies & the complicated sex act than my generation did!  I suggest you read a classic, "Our Bodies, Our Selves," one of the first Feminist books published in the 1970's.   I  personally despise porn,  but if you go to porn hub & watch ONLY "AMATEURS"  OR "REAL COUPLES" (u HAVE to be specific) .... & not, not, not watch  fake, phoney "actors"  .... you  can observe &  learn how normal, common, boring, average, not-so-glamorous couples have amazing, fulfilling & UNselfish sex  which may also include both deep, mutual  respect & monogamous love.  ~~~~
   Fulfilling, awesome, mind blowing sex does not come naturally for probably 90% of all humans.  It is a SKILL that must be learned & it involves both trust & vulnerability.
Avatar universal
The feeling you get to pee while having an orgasm is part of your orgasm. If you don't hold it back and let it flow you will have an even stronger orgasm!
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