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a problem with my hymen
I’m 22 years old and I’m pretty sure I have a microperforate hymen. Ive always had a problem with trying to insert tampons, never been very successful. I get so far and then it begins to hurt badly. I’ve also examined myself and cannot see any hole at all, my hymen covers all of my entrance. Yet I know there is a hole since I have seen where my period comes out of and it is a tiny, tiny hole! I would not consider myself squeamish about this but I am worried because I want to be able to wear tampons and eventually be sexually active but this is causing a lot of problems.
My main problem at the moment is getting a doctor to listen to me. I have been to a private gynaecologist and from the start I could tell she wasn’t listening to my concerns. I told her that it was painful to insert anything and ignored this and she proceeded to use a speculum and other tools to examine me but was obviously unsuccessful. This doctor did not even look whilst trying to insert. The only thing she was able to insert when everything else didn’t was a q-tip which did not hurt at all.
However, the whole examination was extremely painful for me and she did not even stop when I was in distress! it wasn’t handled with sensitivity at all. She then proceeded to tell me I have vaginismus and that I would be referred to physiotherapist. I fail to see how any doctor can pass this off as vaginismus when she hadn’t even listened to my concerns or even visually examined me to see my hymen after unsuccessful insertion. Surely visual examination would be next after unsuccessful physical examination? I was also in a lot of discomfort for a week after this examination, like my skin had been bruised or torn. I feel like it has been such a waste of money!
I later found out many bad reviews from this particular practice and some of the dismissive nature of this particular doctor too. Now I want to get a second opinion from a more reputable doctor with good reviews and want to make sure I get listened to. Ideally I would like to get a hymenectomy in order to make this easier for myself, however I am also open to the idea that it could be vaginismus, as it is apparently more common than a hymen problem. But I am very sure my hymen is causing this problem, i know what I can see when I self examine and it matches a lot of the images online. I could be one of the small percentage of girls with this problem and I want to make sure the doctor listens to me, I don’t want to be fobbed off with something that I feel isn’t the case with me. I have done a lot of research online and so many girls have had successful hymenectomy’s that their doctors have recommended, and I would like to go through the same process but I am worried my next doctor won’t listen either. I am finding this process very frustrating.
Has anyone any advice, and was I treated as poorly as I thought? I have a lot of respect for medical professionals but this appointment just didn’t seem right and I feel my instincts should be listened to. Also how do I get across my concerns and actually get listened to, would it be out of the question for me to suggest to the doctor for me to get a hymenectomy? If i do not get this hymen removed and go ahead with physio therapy surely my hymen still there is going to cause a cycle of pain which would eventually lead to vaginismus anyway? I would appreciate some advice, thank you!
My main problem at the moment is getting a doctor to listen to me. I have been to a private gynaecologist and from the start I could tell she wasn’t listening to my concerns. I told her that it was painful to insert anything and ignored this and she proceeded to use a speculum and other tools to examine me but was obviously unsuccessful. This doctor did not even look whilst trying to insert. The only thing she was able to insert when everything else didn’t was a q-tip which did not hurt at all.
However, the whole examination was extremely painful for me and she did not even stop when I was in distress! it wasn’t handled with sensitivity at all. She then proceeded to tell me I have vaginismus and that I would be referred to physiotherapist. I fail to see how any doctor can pass this off as vaginismus when she hadn’t even listened to my concerns or even visually examined me to see my hymen after unsuccessful insertion. Surely visual examination would be next after unsuccessful physical examination? I was also in a lot of discomfort for a week after this examination, like my skin had been bruised or torn. I feel like it has been such a waste of money!
I later found out many bad reviews from this particular practice and some of the dismissive nature of this particular doctor too. Now I want to get a second opinion from a more reputable doctor with good reviews and want to make sure I get listened to. Ideally I would like to get a hymenectomy in order to make this easier for myself, however I am also open to the idea that it could be vaginismus, as it is apparently more common than a hymen problem. But I am very sure my hymen is causing this problem, i know what I can see when I self examine and it matches a lot of the images online. I could be one of the small percentage of girls with this problem and I want to make sure the doctor listens to me, I don’t want to be fobbed off with something that I feel isn’t the case with me. I have done a lot of research online and so many girls have had successful hymenectomy’s that their doctors have recommended, and I would like to go through the same process but I am worried my next doctor won’t listen either. I am finding this process very frustrating.
Has anyone any advice, and was I treated as poorly as I thought? I have a lot of respect for medical professionals but this appointment just didn’t seem right and I feel my instincts should be listened to. Also how do I get across my concerns and actually get listened to, would it be out of the question for me to suggest to the doctor for me to get a hymenectomy? If i do not get this hymen removed and go ahead with physio therapy surely my hymen still there is going to cause a cycle of pain which would eventually lead to vaginismus anyway? I would appreciate some advice, thank you!
Go read the Wikipedia "hymen" page if you already have not. After looking at that, I wonder if a lack of estrogen may have contributed to a non-elastic hymen. Just a thought. Are you using a mirror to inspect the area? It does sound like you are probably on the right track. Do you live in the U.S.? The reason I ask is because of the huge variation in care based on the "for profit" system of medical care. I would absolutely find a reputable gynecologist, that is known for knowledge of hymenal issues if possible. The majority of women do not go to a gynecologist until after they become sexual active so it is entirely possible that a gynecologist would NEVER actually see a hymen with their own eyes. So, do your homework and get a second (competent) opinion. I respect that you are open to other possibilities (ex. Vaginismus) because sometimes we just don't know, but if things don't add up, ASK for evidence and ask why. Hint: when I go to the gynecologist I will get in position and then say "let me show you" without waiting for permission I use my hands to point out whatever the problem may be. You may want to try this and put your finger on the tissue to make sure they look exactly at what you want to know about.
I would love to hear from you after that to know what the result was.
Thank you.
I would love to hear from you after that to know what the result was.
Thank you.
I would like to also add that your healthcare provider's behavior was not appropriate, and borders on unethical medical treatment. I know it can be hard to speak up, but please know you are your own best advocate. You have the right to stop an exam at any point. You have the right to refuse any part of an exam at any point. Panth has addressed your concerns regarding your condition. I just wanted to reiterate that you have autonomy over your body, and if you are not comfortable, please relay this to the provider with the expectation that the exam will stop, and you can seek other opinions. In addition, you have the right to expect that the provider will address your questions and concerns in a reasonable manner, with respect, and in terms that you can understand. I wish you all the best.
1 Comments
thank you so much for understanding, this makes me feel better about my instincts and about going for a second opinion!
Hello, first, that doctor was not respectful and that is not OK.
Second, I would like to know a couple things. 1. Are you able to inset a lubricated finger into your vagina without pain. 2. Where (how many centimetres in from the entrance) do you think your hymen is. 3. Do you have any anxiety (whether yours or induced by parents or culture) about sex and your vagina. 4. Can you link a picture that you have found online that is an accurate representation of your issue?
Second, I would like to know a couple things. 1. Are you able to inset a lubricated finger into your vagina without pain. 2. Where (how many centimetres in from the entrance) do you think your hymen is. 3. Do you have any anxiety (whether yours or induced by parents or culture) about sex and your vagina. 4. Can you link a picture that you have found online that is an accurate representation of your issue?
1 Comments
Thank you for your reply, Im glad you also think that my visit to that doctor was not ok.
To answer your questions:
1. No I have tried several times in the past but it always feels like there is a hard but spongey resistance in the way, and I know I am in the right place where the entrance should be. Usually it won’t hurt until I push further
2. I would say my hymen is not even a centimetre in from the vaginal lips
3. The only anxiety I have is because of my of my inability to insert anything and the pain that I have received recently. I feel that If this hymen was not there I would have no worries about inserting anything. I also have no cultural or religious nor family reason to be anxious.
4. The only photograph I have found that looked vaguely like mine was this: https://www.realself.com/question/colmar-pa-hymen#
Thanks again!
To answer your questions:
1. No I have tried several times in the past but it always feels like there is a hard but spongey resistance in the way, and I know I am in the right place where the entrance should be. Usually it won’t hurt until I push further
2. I would say my hymen is not even a centimetre in from the vaginal lips
3. The only anxiety I have is because of my of my inability to insert anything and the pain that I have received recently. I feel that If this hymen was not there I would have no worries about inserting anything. I also have no cultural or religious nor family reason to be anxious.
4. The only photograph I have found that looked vaguely like mine was this: https://www.realself.com/question/colmar-pa-hymen#
Thanks again!
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