Afraid of relationships of all kind it seems..

[bferguson92]

Hello my name is brandi and I am 18. My anxiety used to be so bad, I was having a panic attack everyday. But now I don't have them anymore. Now, it seems i am realizing that I am so distant from everyone in my life. I think this is a different kind of anxiety i did not see while having the panic attacks. I so scared of getting close to people and i think it is because my mother died when i was 12. we were like bestfriends. She sewed clothes for us, and we always did arts and crafts and cooked together. Now since she is gone, i think i have this fear because i dont want to lose anyone thats close to me again. I have a boyfriend and we have been together and living together for about 8 months now. I am close to him but thats the only person really. It seems i can not even be all the way myself around people like if i hide myself then there will be no real connection. is anyone else experiencing this? I feel like i need to trap myself away from everyone but its not like i have a fear of people. I'm a very talkative person and outspoken.

[bferguson92]

THANK YOU SO MUCH! I thought i was the only one but now I know different. I am also about to seek yet again more psychiatrist help because i fear I am also bipolar because I have been diagnosed with depression, i know i have anxiety, and terrible mood swings. Life it tough but there is hope somewhere. I can't wait to know and experience what it is like to live a normal life!

[bertiebear]

Hi Brandi,
I just want to let you know this is me also, my mum died years ago and i find it very hard to try and build any relationships, the only people i have in my life is my kids. The thought of making friends make me ill, I've had terrible anxiety and bi-polar issues for years (since I was a teenager-i'm 33 now) and like you i am in control of the panic attacks at the moment but the general anxiety is still there, i just want you to know that taking it slowly is the key, i try small tasks and the older i've got i realised that i'm happier this way and accept the way I am now, prozac also help in the long term not short i went down the drugs line and got addicted to several kinds  in the pursuit to rid me of my panic attacks and anxiety but to be honest it made things a million times worse and ruined 10yrs of my life, (then you have to fix the mess you made!) so if your boyfriend helps you thats great but don't depend on him to much as if anything happens it can be devasting as you ned to learn to do things all over again, like i said start with small tasks and don't be to hard on yourself! I really wanted to tell you your not alone!