I understand how you feel! I have a child and told my boyfriend (also my child's father) about how many pills I was taking a couple of weeks ago. He too, knew I was on pain meds, but had no idea even close to how many. I think that subconsciously I told him so that I had no choice but to get better. I have been tapering my pills down ever since. If you want to talk about anything, please let me know. I know exactly what you are going through! I know I'm a great mom too! I'm just sick and I am going to put everything I have left in me into getting better!
I am in the same boat, without the spouses support though. I am trying a new taper program. I am adding ten minutes to the time between taking the pills. So far, so good. I was taking one every six hours when I started. I am up to 8 hours and 40 minutes and the withdrawls are almost nothing. Set a schedule and stick to it. We can do it. We deserve a better life.