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5326543 tn?1367587265

just to say hello

back in feb of this year iwas raped. i felt alot of things and thought it was my fault. but i am the type of person that likes to put things behind me and move on. i know it wasnt my fault and i know that when i said no it made it wrong. i did the proper thing and reported it. i had a boyfriend at the time and because i had ex with him back in march he doubts that i was even raped... is it bad or un normal to wan to do that or am i a freak of nature? the past few days i have been struggling with this and it hurts to think that im not normal... i just dont know what to do?
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1601869 tn?1441310748
i have forgiven him i know i sound nuts but just because i forgave the guy doesn't mean i agree with that he did by any means because i don't BUT i am no longer angry in an unhealthy way towards him, i still have my triggers but that will never go away and im ok with it to a point but i also love not feeling hate all the time i can enjoy my life and my new family. my moms side have basically disowned me because of it but i have my husbands family yes some i dis like there also but i think thats normal lol. but try and move on, if u let him go and he comes back he was ment to be and if not he was never truly yours. if u ever want to talk personally u can message me :)
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5326543 tn?1367587265
thanks! the bf left and now wont talk to me. i dont know why but i felt the need to prove him wrong so i gave him all the info. he wont talk to me. i have tried to tell him before all of this leaving me business. but he said its ok he believed me. just to know now he didnt. he wont talk to me, he has blocked me from his social media.. we go to the same meetrings and i am dirt beneath his feet. its becasue i dont react like someone he knew did when she was raped. i love him but i am sure that my rape was the problem. i know people make it up... but not me... i wouldnt wish this feeling on no one. i am so sorry that happened to you but you seem like a very strong person.
Helpful - 0
1601869 tn?1441310748
i was raped by my brother in law starting when i was 15 and it happened over the course of years, i didn't tell because he worked for the counties sheriffs department. i ended up telling only because i was watching his 3 kids while he and my sister when off on a last weekend before baby #4 was born and i couldn't take it anymore. i went thru hours and hours of telling my story. no one believed me till they brought in a new guy from a different county, he believed me, i had to tell my whole family what had happened, i was even forced to tell my sister what he did and she of course doesn't believe me and i lost my whole family, all of my friends, everyone but my now husband. to this day i still think ok what did i do what happened that night, everything my husband does things that my brother in law did n i scream at him to stop n when he doesn't i start calling him my brother in laws name because it bugs me that much, my mom made me go talk to someone it didn't help me, i lost my dad at age 5 and she tried then but again it didn't help. i have forgiven him because i know i had to for myself and my family, but i still wake up screaming because i "relive" it i still run away when i see him. at night of destruction 2 years ago i saw him and i grabbed my hubbies arm n ran and wen i got behind a building i hugged him n cried n missed a whole event because i don't want to see him last year i saw them but i was pregnant so i couldn't run lol and this year i bet i will see him again but my son will be about 1 and im not going to let the fear of him make me stay inside and never leave, iv learned push it to the back of yr mind and it gets easier, if something trigers u let that person know that it bugs u really bad and ud like them to stop. like for me its a guy chewing on his finger nails, and then pepsi and some kind of alcohol, and chewing tobacco, thank fully my hubby only chews his nails, but i mean it will take years, for awhile i rebelled and i went n did allot of guys because i thought it would help me get over what happened but it just made it worse. so now i try and live a normal life for my hubby and my son, and i do plan on telling him about it when he gets older, but it wasn't yr fault some men are just pigs and if yr bf don't believe u ask him if he wants to hear what happened and tell him honestly every detail, my hubby knows and this was even b4 we dated i told him and he accepted me for me we have now been dating over 4 years and married a little over a year and we just take one day at a time, u will have good days, great days, crappy days, and days u just want to lay in bed n cry but u need to get up and not let that take over u because eventually it will consume u n u wont be able to get out. i hope i helped :)
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