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Loud Noises when I swallow that don't sound nornal

Hi, I am having real trouble with my partner's loud swallowing noises. It does not only happen VERY loudly when he is drinking (specially) but even with his own saliva and I sometimes get really frustrated. Basically we need to have the radio or TV on when we eat so I don't hear him. It is getting annoying and I was wondering if it is related to something else and if it can be remedied. PLEASE HELP!! :(
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Avatar universal
I love how everyone says you should feel ashamed for being disgusted by other's loud swallowing noises because they can't help it. Personally I can't help getting severe anxiety attacks when hearing loud mouth sounds due to a neurological disorder that I can't help. This creates a paradox as the loud swallowers shouldn't be offended as I can't help it and I'm 100% sure the solution to this is just blowing up the universe in a **** show of triggered whinyness.
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
It's NOT being an elitist or being arrogant. It's called MISOPHONIA and it's a psychological disorder. That horrible gulping sounds that (luckily very FEW) people make when they swallow immediately gives me the worst, most intense feelings of disgust, anger, and rage. And I don't mean the normal sounds that a throat makes when someone swallow... I mean true LOUD gulping. Thank God it's rare. I've heard only a handful of people in my entire life who gulp like that. And most of them were children who probably (hopefully) outgrew it as adults.

Here's a legit question for the gulpers... Everyone subconsciously swallows their spit every couple of minutes. Most people do it without even being aware of it. Do you gulp when you're just swallowing your spit? If not, then why is swallowing water or other liquids any different?

You say that you can't control how loud you swallow. Well.... I can't control the horrible feelings that instantly rage inside of me when I hear it. That said... I would never in a million years ask someone to be quiet, stop doing it, or even get annoyed at them. I may not be able to stop the feelings I get when I hear it, but I can control how I react and respond to it. I just quietly remove myself from the situation or put headphones in. The gulper would never know that it bugs me because I would never say anything. Venting our frustrations online is a healthy way to express our feelings. If you don't like those feelings, then you don't have like them. But you are wrong when you accuse someone of acting like elitist, being rude, condescending, or arrogant because they have a disorder that you clearly don't understand or can sympathize with. I hate having Misophonia and would love to be able to sit next to someone who's gulping and not feel instant rage and hatred. It is what it is though.
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Avatar universal
I have this swallowing problem as well and it annoys my partner too (although he's compassionate about it because he knows that no matter how hard I try, I can't control it). Honestly, I think something is wrong with my throat physiologically. From my preliminary research, I echo what other folks have said here in that it seems like this can be related to a variety of medical conditions or simply his anatomy. Right now I'm exploring thyroid issues because both my best friend and my mother are loud/'problem' swallowers too and have recently been diagnosed with thyroid problems. Apparently this can be one (of several potential) thing(s) associated with loud/forceful swallowing.
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Avatar universal
have his Primary Doctor (PCP) refer him to a specialist called (ENT) its an ear, nose , Throat specialist where theyll go in depth as to if there is any underlining issues going on.
also if he has a medical condition that affects his swallowing theyll be able to see that and get it addressed.

in my case it was due to enlarged tonsils that should of been removed.
also have him take smaller sips, rather than big gulps.
hope that helps :)
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Avatar universal
I am a speech pathologist and have worked with thousands of patients with a variety of swallowing disorders.   If someone has had a loud swallow since childhood, I believe it is likely because of their anatomy.   Think about the variety of sounds people make when they sneeze and how hard it is to change that sound.  
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Avatar universal
Instead of writing you a whole essay I will give you the answer. Tell him to try to swallow harder. It worked for me.
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Avatar universal
My grandma does the same thing, its very loud, but she isn't doing it on purpose. When the noise happens its involuntary. You can control it if you take slow sips, but general drinking of liquids is just uncontrollable. Not everyone has this problem.
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Avatar universal
For the people saying that swallowing loudly is annoying or poor etiquette, for the love of God get over yourselves! Some people cannot help it and are just as conscious of it as you. I find it ridiculous that people like you make others feel uncomfortable to do a natural thing like eating or drinking so as not to disturb/annoy others. Utterly shameful!!
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2 Comments
Bravo! I have the same problem and made to feel bad about it with dirty looks and etc.
Grow up and quit whining. Sometimes people can help it, but don't because people like you tread on egg shells around them.
Avatar universal
maybe my mom has this-- ugh so annoying
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Avatar universal
SHUT UP
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Avatar universal
misophonia
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Avatar universal
Have him try this:  
Take a swallow (of a drink or a bite of food)
Exhale first
Then swallow

And see if that helps.

I think what loud swallowers do is
Inhale
Swallow
Then Exhale (causing gasping or loud gulping sounds)
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13804268 tn?1431544250
I have always had decent table manners. About 3 years ago my family started to comment on my loud swallowing, even though (as far as I could tell) it was just the same as how I'd always done it. I have a relatively small volume of mouth capacity, with a narrow space between my teeth and a high-arched palate. I also have very large tonsils.

I am no expert on the art of swallowing, but I assume that the internal structure of one's mouth and upper throat has a huge effect on the acoustics involved. Keeping in mind that the head is essentially a gigantic resonating chamber, as any classically trained singer will attest to, there will always be a connection between the internal bone structure of one's head and how loudly they swallow.

For those of us who are sure about our swallowing being blatant rudeness, let me say this: I've tried every single possible permutation and combination of tongue shape, head angle and throat tension I could think of that wouldn't result in me drowning, and I still haven't figured out how to swallow quietly. What I have found is that I'm slightly quieter when I'm more sufficiently hydrated.

For those of us who, like me, swallow loudly and are insecure about it, remember that it sounds louder to you than it does to someone else! It's your head that the sound is buzzing through, so the vibrations travelling through your bones will reach your ears more efficiently than through the air around you. If you can achieve what sounds like 'relatively' quiet swallowing to what you're used to hearing from yourself, then you've managed to reduce your external volume by a lot.

Drink a lot of water to keep your throat moist, so that your body is less likely to register a gulping action when you drink something (which it will do if it thinks it won't get liquid again for a long time). Try to use your tongue to contain the liquid between either side of your teeth, so that it doesn't squelch past the back of your molars when you swallow. After swallowing, relax and open your throat slowly, instead of snapping it open to be able to breathe again. But more importantly than anything else: if it hurts, it's wrong! Avoid doing anything when you swallow that makes your throat ache. If you damage something used for swallowing, it gets very easy to get an infection.
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Avatar universal
I just found this because I looked up loud swallowing because I am fed up with my husband looking disgusted making a face or leaving the room whenever I have a drink. He has even said it annoys him. I found that most upsetting. To all who said its bad manners or laziness it is not the person cannot help it and your attitude to it is upsetting to them. How would you like it if every time you wanted to eat or drink you felt someone was glaring at you it is becoming very upsetting. I even go thirsty rather than drink in front of him would you like your relative to do that? I am glad there appears to be some cause now off to my doctor when can get an appointment!
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11798210 tn?1421170745
I seem to be doing the exact same thing but it is so not due to laziness or lack of etiquette! I think that it is a physical thing, besides everybody is different you must have something annoying about you, and it isn't like he does it on purpose.
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Avatar universal
I am 27yr male .I have the same gulp sound even with saliva and frustrates others . I feel ashamed of myself.

If there is a professional guy reading , please assist.

Thanks in advance.
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1 Comments
im sad i have to deal with this 4ever
Avatar universal
You, my friend, are being quite unreasonable I believe. I swallow loudly and I have been trying to stop and it's not something that comes easily especially when there's people like you that post unhelpful comments on otherwise helpful threads. I detest your reference to the analogy of feet on the table. It isn't like that at all. Besides the fact that people shouldn't actually be drinking during a meal I don't believe that your 'analogy' was correct. I have been raised to be polite during meals. I don't put my elbows on the table and I certainly don't put my feet on there :P However people have commented on my loud drinking and my heavy breathing. It's not something I can just be like 'Oh hey, maybe I should stop' and I stop. If you had it then you would understand but you don't sooo :)
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1 Comments
To Love is Real> You are conscientious and considerate. The analogy had a different intent. That is, most folks are not annoyed by eating noises, but a minority is. It's difficult for many to grasp why this is annoying, and often they dismiss as the fault of those who are being annoyed, as though it's their own hearing sensitivity problem.
Thus to find some kind of more general equivalence so others can understand more completely, smelly feet annoy just about everyone, except for the person with the smelly feet. (I don't know why.)
That being said, the person with the smelly feet puts his feet on the dinner table and is not bothered at all by the smell. Then when others complain, he says the others must have smell sensitivity problems, as though it's their problem, since he himself is not bothered by his own smelly feet. He can't grasp how his actions might affect others.
Obviously everybody sees the absurdity of this individual's viewpoint, since smelly feet are universally accepted as disgusting, whereas when it comes to eating noises, those who are truly annoyed are a minority.  And it is difficult for others to grasp this. The most often cited response I hear is that those who are annoyed should learn to live with their "hearing sensitivity issues."
I am sure you can think of other analogies besides smelly feet, it;s just that this example can be more readily understood by society at large as I see it.
Avatar universal
My Dad used to do it. Far easier to tell you father than a partner - he was doing as the daughter of the person above said - incredibly deliberate, over-thought and amazingly loud GULP action. I am very sensitive to such things, quite manic and tend to be annoyed, so I can add to the conversation in one respect: only a few people do this, I know because I notice ALL of them, and from the perspective of someone who has had to deal with it, it's not elitism, it's not some kind of smug poshness - thinking the other rude - it is genuinely like torture to listen to. Obviously its stupid psychological effect and I wish I could stop being so annoyed by it, but I really can't and it's like you are being violated when you listen to it. A colleague who sits near a chap who makes the same noise and who also happens to gulp A LOT due to some kind of wierd prediliciton to drink 4 or 5 litres of water every day, my colleague is driven mad by it. Sometimes I'll hear a gulp come accross the office and it sends a shiver down my spine but then the colleague who cant cope with it appears and leaves - he actually has to leave the office its so aweful. At least I'm not alone.

I have various theories about why it is so annoying, none really on what causes it, appart from perhaps a lack of coordination or in the case of my father just a crazy over-thinking that he managed to get over (aged 55!) and stop doing it. It might be an overly tied-tongue that can cause snoring and things or perhaps an odly over/under sealing soft pallet. As for the annoyance-causing, apologies in advance to any dislikers of evolution, but I think it might be an evolved repulsion to members of a tribe/group which demonstrate illness / weakness. You know how everyone is almost driven to bully / drive our weak members of a peer group, how young people and stupid people succumb to that drive and become overt bullies? I think that as an adult that compulsion can be presented as a raging annoyance and when someone does something annoying it might be that we are discerning some weakness - certainly an uncoordinated swallow action must surely be considered a physiological weakness, or perhaps we are programmed to recognize it as a sure sign of someone uncoordinated, and hence we are repulsed by it. Just a (probably rubbish) theory, but that's how it feels - the repulsion and annoyance 'feels' programmed its such a strong drive.

Another example: my bosses son has had a cold seemingly his whole life, he is 6 and still cant breath through his nose, and so he eats amazingly loudly with an open mouth - said boss cannot actually eat at the table with is son, he tries almost every day to get over it and eat with him, but he just cannot do it so repulsive is the noise.

I wonder if that might cause uncoordinated gulping - perhaps if one is a sickly child and cannot learn the very complex action as a young child due to a blocked nose, one never quite gets the hang of it.
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Avatar universal
Doctors don't know! It's 4S Syndrome, cause unknown and no cure. Could be some hear really well, and are perhaps something like pyscholically tortured from sleep deprivation with those noises when young.  The best comparison is a hangover and how easily annoying sounds are, but without the drinking. An analogy might be putting your dirty feet (in socks) on the dinner table for all others to smell and observe. Some may say bad etiquette, but you counter they have a smelling sensitivity problem.
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Avatar universal
Doctors don't know! It's 4S Syndrome, cause unknown and no cure. Could be some hear really well, and are perhaps something like pyscholically tortured from sleep deprivation with those noises when young.  The best comparison is a hangover and how easily annoying sounds are, but without the drinking. An analogy might be putting your dirty feet (in socks) on the dinner table for all others to smell and observe. Some may say bad etiquette, but you counter they have a smelling sensitivity problem.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I was hoping for some medical options to be offered here. I only saw one post that offered something and another post that insulted previous posters. Everyone else is just asking for help. I am not desperate for help. I just noticed a sibling and parent does this gulping while drinking. It is very annoying. the so called advice that states or implies to ignore it or be more tolerant is unreasonable. It's a terribly unpleasant sound and most people would be annoyed listening to it repeatedly. Luckily I no longer have to listen to it regularly but I did feel concerned that it was medical since it affects more than one person in my family. I googled it but all I found was a bunch of opinions ranging from "I'm going to lose my mind if they don't stop" to "They need to slow down" to "oh some people just make that sound, learn to adjust."

So back to square one. This was the most useful posts and I can't say it was all that useful. I do know that if my sibling does slow down the sound is either much quieter or I can't hear it at all. But we do have a family history of food getting trapped at the esophagus. So I suspect there could be a connection.

And I thought perhaps it was that they were swallowing air but they don't burp any more than anyone else. I have never been told I swallow hard or gulp but I burp more they they do. I know I swallow air. I have to pay attention not to eat or drink to eagerly.

I'm guessing there could be a number of reasons it happens and talking to a doctor may be the best way to find out. But that is just my humble opinion.
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Avatar universal
My daughter 15 yo, also makes a presence at the table. She is a meticulous eater that arranges geometric neatness to her table settings, bedrooms accessaries, pens, pencils, etc. She completes her meals very slowly and is often reminded after most are finish to 'hurry it up.' She drinks small amounts at a time and a loud gulp sound emanate through the air across the table. She has great table manners, however it appears she concentrates on the whole process of the drinking function way too much.

Imagine a video in slow motion. Maintaining eye contact on the target at all times she steadily holds her cup/glass evenly without creating waves inside the cup. In a ready secured state, holding the cup she then slowly lifts and rotates her arm raising her cup to her head without any initial horizontal neck movement to meet the cup then ever so gently putting her lips to the cup rim. She then proceeds to vacuum small amounts of whatever she is drinking into her mouth as if she simultaneously measures, tastes, and analyzes the liquid she is ingesting. The cup is removed, and the swallowing process begins. Without any upper torso body or head movement, with a straigt erect back she begins to allow parts of the mouthful into her throat apparantly attempting to feel the liquid actually pass through her larnax while acuating the tongue to wave pass the throat section in turn raising the larnax (which makes the loud sound) dropping the liquid into her stomach. And that is per each small or large drink.  

Mom thinks this is normal. I think my daughter thinks about the drink too much. It also does not make good table manners. Help.
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Avatar universal
Well, it's not laziness or rudeness by intent it's just the way the person swallows. I've dealt with it myself since I was a child, but only when I drink oddly and it's not super loud, just louder than I think most people actually swallow.I can't control it unless I drink an extremely little amount at a time.
It's kind of funny because I had tried to drink a smaller amount and thought maybe it would be quieter, but it was kind of worse. I either have to drink a full sip if its a straw or very very little.

I've worked in health care, so I do know from experience that it has something to do with the consistency or texture of what one with this problem is drinking/eating. Some of the patients I've worked with have had to take their water or liquids thickened; however, this was as a means to prevent chocking or promote proper digestion. This is kind of a different instance, but by comparison, as I mentioned I only swallow "loudly" or hard I prefer to say, when I'm drinking water or anything that is thin. I

don't know what to suggest as far as regular meals the patients I've worked with were mentally ill etc, so their food was prepared according to their ability. It would be hard I presume to try and take a grown man or woman who is in their right mind to take their food any other way than what is normal to them. Hope this gives you some kind of idea about possible options.
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1 Comments
Not necessarily true. I can control the volume of my gulps from imperceptible to extremely loud. It all depends how much force you exert in order to swallow. It's like closing a door. Most close doors rather quietly with minimal force, whereas others can't seem to shut a door without slamming it. The greater the force, the louder the noise. It really is inconsiderate for those who know their habit is  annoying to not at least try to be quiet.
EVERYBODY has something that can annoy them. For some it's screechy commercials on tv, others it's loud music, others it's airplane noise, you name it. Or it can be visual, like dirty clothes on a countertop, sloppiness,or whatever. We all try to accommodate others out of politeness, except for some reason, many will not accept the fact that loud eating and drinking habits can be annoying to others as well.
Avatar universal
hi, i just looked up 'gulp loudly' on the internet, because i do it!
it's not like it's ever bothered me but yes is bothers my husband of 10 years....
but yes i think he is intolerent.  i think it's terrible that he is making me feel bad over eating of all things! when really i can't help it. when i swallow it's as if food has to get through a block - no i'm not taking giant piggy mouthfuls... although i'm sure he woud say so...

perhaps its a physiological thing... perhaps we are all different and yes there are things that tic me off about him... i'm about to go tell him about them now!

here's to long lasting marriages!
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