Aa
a more serious question
i need help. i am so unsure of myself right now. peek knows but ill repeat for everyone to help me figure this out. i am pg with baby #3. i have had 2 c sections, first was unplanned but necessary. my second was due to my dr not going vbac and my lack un certainty and information. i have been so determined to have a vaginal birth this time around, but i dont know if its the safest choice at this point.
i met with a dr, he is new to me. he has many years of experience and has been talked well of by many drs and people i know. he isnt crazy about me wanting to give birth this way, and im sort of torn. from my reading the risk of rupture is a bit over 1.5%. my dr said "how do you know you wont be that 1%"? he also says from my past history of birth and other surgeries it is possible that it could take longer than the 11-14 min it takes to get a baby out if there is a rupture. i know , i know, you are all thinking how can you even consider this? well from research i have read it seems there are so many women that have given birth safely and some have even had a homebirth experience. there are risks with c sections and epidurals as well.
the one thing i did like is he will let me go into labor and let the baby tell us when it is ready to be born rather than schedule it for the sake of the dr. i really feel i will have this c section, i dont know that i could live with myself should something happen, but how do you let it go? the feeling of being robbed that i couldnt delivery my child the way it was intended? it is a very huge issue for me, i am trying to just let it go but its so hard!!
i dont know what im asking. i guess i want to know if anyone believes i should try to go for the vbac, or if i should give up my dream and do what the medical community feels is best for me and my child.
i met with a dr, he is new to me. he has many years of experience and has been talked well of by many drs and people i know. he isnt crazy about me wanting to give birth this way, and im sort of torn. from my reading the risk of rupture is a bit over 1.5%. my dr said "how do you know you wont be that 1%"? he also says from my past history of birth and other surgeries it is possible that it could take longer than the 11-14 min it takes to get a baby out if there is a rupture. i know , i know, you are all thinking how can you even consider this? well from research i have read it seems there are so many women that have given birth safely and some have even had a homebirth experience. there are risks with c sections and epidurals as well.
the one thing i did like is he will let me go into labor and let the baby tell us when it is ready to be born rather than schedule it for the sake of the dr. i really feel i will have this c section, i dont know that i could live with myself should something happen, but how do you let it go? the feeling of being robbed that i couldnt delivery my child the way it was intended? it is a very huge issue for me, i am trying to just let it go but its so hard!!
i dont know what im asking. i guess i want to know if anyone believes i should try to go for the vbac, or if i should give up my dream and do what the medical community feels is best for me and my child.
I have heard others said the feel they have "failed" if they need c-sections... and I understand that it is a realy feeling for you... but I don't see it that way, and I agree with Annie... I did not go through what she did, but I did have to have both of my kids c-section... my situation was one where my doctor did not even want me to have hard contractions, or any if possible, because the risks of rupture were so high for me... so it wasn't even a question for me... I was just to very happy to have the gift of pregnancy and a child.....
My advise is to just go the c-section route...
My advise is to just go the c-section route...
anniebrook you brought tears to my eyes. i feel horrible that i am having such a hard time with how to give birth to #3, when all you want is to have a chance at #2. i dont feel like my children are any less my children because of my c, and i would love the next however it comes into this world.
i dont know how to explain it. im very hard on myself. when i "fail" at something or cant accomplish it how i want i can be my own worst enemy. i suppose that is a whole other issue lol.
as of today i plan on going into labor on my own and having my c section. the words of the dr "how do you know you wont be the one" sticks and replays over and over.
as silly as it sounds, i cant wait to breastfeed this little baby!! lol you'd think after as long as i nursed addy id be ready to keep my boobs to myself.
i truely appreciate and respect everyone's responses, if i could hug each of you i would!
i dont know how to explain it. im very hard on myself. when i "fail" at something or cant accomplish it how i want i can be my own worst enemy. i suppose that is a whole other issue lol.
as of today i plan on going into labor on my own and having my c section. the words of the dr "how do you know you wont be the one" sticks and replays over and over.
as silly as it sounds, i cant wait to breastfeed this little baby!! lol you'd think after as long as i nursed addy id be ready to keep my boobs to myself.
i truely appreciate and respect everyone's responses, if i could hug each of you i would!
AnnieBrooke
Without meaning to, you expressed some of my thoughts and emotions about the subject better than I probably could. I love my children no less because they were born via c-section, I feel no less a mother. Honestly, the time spent holding, loving and caring for them makes me feel more attached and in love with them than any pushing out of my body could. It doesn't matter to me how they were brought into this world, just that they are here and part of my world is enough for me.
PertyKitty
I hope you find peace with your decision and are able to enjoy your pregnancy.
Without meaning to, you expressed some of my thoughts and emotions about the subject better than I probably could. I love my children no less because they were born via c-section, I feel no less a mother. Honestly, the time spent holding, loving and caring for them makes me feel more attached and in love with them than any pushing out of my body could. It doesn't matter to me how they were brought into this world, just that they are here and part of my world is enough for me.
PertyKitty
I hope you find peace with your decision and are able to enjoy your pregnancy.
Perty, I know that you did not ask for someone to tell you not to try for VBAC, but speaking as someone who is seeing her dream of a second child look like it isn't going to work, what is helping me right now a bit when processing this bitter disappointment is to hear stories that suggest my present undesired reality might be better than getting the thing I had been hoping for. So here is my 2 cents worth, please feel free to ignore it.
I am an "older mommy," dealt with infertility issues for years and years and years. When I did finally get pregnant and carry to term, I would not have cared if they cut a hole in my arm and pulled the baby out. I was just so effing happy! I labored for 27 hours and though I was fully dilated and pushed for 6 hours, he just wasn't coming. So we had a c-section. I did not fail, I had a baby! That is a HUGE WIN! Do you know that a million women and babies a year die as a result of childbirth in the world? Having a baby come out of you alive and well and you being alive and well is the win, not pushing it out of your vagina. You are not more or less yourself, not more or less a woman, not more or less a mommy, if you push the baby out of your vagina or have the doctor lift it out of your tummy.
My little sister did all she could to have a VBAC, she had coaches, training, doulas, even a birthing tub in her house. When it didn't go, she said, "Well, I know I tried and did everything I could," and so she felt fine about it. I frankly wondered why she bothered, but having tried made her feel better.
Anyway, please don't let anyone from the natural community make you feel like you are doing less than you should if you have a section. I was happy, in my case, that I began labor naturally because I wanted my son, not me, to decide when he was ready to come out. But I have never felt like I did less for him than I somehow "should" have due to the fact that he was born by Cesarean. Save feeling guilty for if you don't breast feed. LOL
I am an "older mommy," dealt with infertility issues for years and years and years. When I did finally get pregnant and carry to term, I would not have cared if they cut a hole in my arm and pulled the baby out. I was just so effing happy! I labored for 27 hours and though I was fully dilated and pushed for 6 hours, he just wasn't coming. So we had a c-section. I did not fail, I had a baby! That is a HUGE WIN! Do you know that a million women and babies a year die as a result of childbirth in the world? Having a baby come out of you alive and well and you being alive and well is the win, not pushing it out of your vagina. You are not more or less yourself, not more or less a woman, not more or less a mommy, if you push the baby out of your vagina or have the doctor lift it out of your tummy.
My little sister did all she could to have a VBAC, she had coaches, training, doulas, even a birthing tub in her house. When it didn't go, she said, "Well, I know I tried and did everything I could," and so she felt fine about it. I frankly wondered why she bothered, but having tried made her feel better.
Anyway, please don't let anyone from the natural community make you feel like you are doing less than you should if you have a section. I was happy, in my case, that I began labor naturally because I wanted my son, not me, to decide when he was ready to come out. But I have never felt like I did less for him than I somehow "should" have due to the fact that he was born by Cesarean. Save feeling guilty for if you don't breast feed. LOL
"Reading questions like this makes Swampy happy as swampcritters bury their eggs in the mud. "
LOL!
LOL!
I didn't know you were pregnant again! Congrats!
swampy thank you for putting effort into helping me, i really appreciate that!! i have read numerous articles, but it still leaves you with the question, "what if i am the one that ruptures"
i had been apart of an online group full of women who are hardcore vbac and natural birth advocates. some are doulas, some experienced from their own vbac, and some that have unassisted births. they had me very excited and feeling as though i can do anything!! but what if my body cant? what if my body refuses to let me and something dangerous or fatal happens
i think the more i think about it the more fear i have, and i dont think fear is a key factor in having a succesful vbac. its early still, we will see.
i had been apart of an online group full of women who are hardcore vbac and natural birth advocates. some are doulas, some experienced from their own vbac, and some that have unassisted births. they had me very excited and feeling as though i can do anything!! but what if my body cant? what if my body refuses to let me and something dangerous or fatal happens
i think the more i think about it the more fear i have, and i dont think fear is a key factor in having a succesful vbac. its early still, we will see.
Reading questions like this makes Swampy happy as swampcritters bury their eggs in the mud.
Nevertheless, this article, although technical, may help:
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5144a3.htm
Nevertheless, this article, although technical, may help:
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5144a3.htm
And also, if your doctor does a VBAC you may have to make some other compromises too. For example, they may induce you to ensure you get an epidural AND they are available AND the surgical team is ready to go in case of complications. Im not saying that will happen in your case but I do know that has happened to VBAC'ers before (not sure how common it is).
Im with Peek (and myself) - get as many different opinions as you can.
Im with Peek (and myself) - get as many different opinions as you can.
If you had only had 1 previous C/S, or had at least one vag delivery under your belt, I'd feel better about you VBACing.
I don't know that the 1.5% you are quoting is entirely accurate if you have had 2 prior. I simply do not know. There are not a lot of situations to base the statistics on.
I'm extremely pro VBAC....but your situation is a bit touchier. No previous vaginal deliveries, and 2 prior uterine incisions. I hear you that this is a huge, important issue for you, and I don't know what to tell you. Different people will tell you different things, because we all come from different places in our heads.
Get as many opinions from doctors as you can, I guess. If your doctor DOES Vbacs, and yet is reluctant to do one with you...that says a lot.
I don't know that the 1.5% you are quoting is entirely accurate if you have had 2 prior. I simply do not know. There are not a lot of situations to base the statistics on.
I'm extremely pro VBAC....but your situation is a bit touchier. No previous vaginal deliveries, and 2 prior uterine incisions. I hear you that this is a huge, important issue for you, and I don't know what to tell you. Different people will tell you different things, because we all come from different places in our heads.
Get as many opinions from doctors as you can, I guess. If your doctor DOES Vbacs, and yet is reluctant to do one with you...that says a lot.
Here is my personal opinion, for what its worth.
The risk of rupture is a little over 1.5%, lets say 2%. That means that out of 100 women, 98 of them will NOT rupture. I would meet with a few other doctors and see what their opinion is. Some doctors will offer to do a VBAC but will have a surgical team on stand-by and require that you have an epidural in place should complications result. I believe most doctors wont even think about VBAC due to insurance issues but there are some that will. Talk to a doctor that will do a VBAC and talk through the pros and cons with them - they have a lot of experience and can advise you best.
If I were you, I would definitely do more research and not give up hope just yet. Its a tough one though. Interested to see what others say.
The risk of rupture is a little over 1.5%, lets say 2%. That means that out of 100 women, 98 of them will NOT rupture. I would meet with a few other doctors and see what their opinion is. Some doctors will offer to do a VBAC but will have a surgical team on stand-by and require that you have an epidural in place should complications result. I believe most doctors wont even think about VBAC due to insurance issues but there are some that will. Talk to a doctor that will do a VBAC and talk through the pros and cons with them - they have a lot of experience and can advise you best.
If I were you, I would definitely do more research and not give up hope just yet. Its a tough one though. Interested to see what others say.
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