Aa
Do I tell?
Basic information
I was just diagnosed with Herpes type 2 in June of 2009. I have put myself in an awful situation. I have fallen in love with a man and not told him of my diagnosis. I think this happen because I am so scared of loosing him. I should have told him but I knew he would run. He constantly makes jokes about "herpes" and how he would NEVER date a women with any disease such as Herpes. We have been out and he has made comments like "Just shoot me and give me Herpes" as if it he would rather die than get this. He works with this disease on almost a daily basis and still holds the stigma that everyone else has~~~. I thought we were fine bc we had used condoms and I was on a antiviral suggested medication. Well ..............we have had unprotected sex many times in the last month. Before we had sex he asked me if I had anything. I lied and said no, as I had just been tested and on paper and everything was negative [because they do not routinely test for Herpes type 2]. What I did not tell him is mo earlier I tested + to a culture d/t a severe breakout.I feel like a terrible person and I am sure I am one bc I should tell him but he is the most loving, giving person I have ever met. I know without a doubt he WILL leave me if I tell him. He said once having a life long sexually disease is unacceptable.
Questions:
1. Am I in the minority for not wanting to tell? 80% of people who have Herpes type 2 don't even know they have it so although not moral why can't I pretend I am one of them. I know I can get sued; I know this is REALLY bad but I am scared. I love this man and don't want to loose him. I know I will from his past comments he has extreme fear.
2. Before I had herpes I was ALWAYS was irritated in the vagina area after sex and shaving. Now I ALWAYS have irritation and itching~ So how the heck do I know when to avoid sex!!!!! I currently am red and itching with read bumps. No blisters or sores. HELP
I was just diagnosed with Herpes type 2 in June of 2009. I have put myself in an awful situation. I have fallen in love with a man and not told him of my diagnosis. I think this happen because I am so scared of loosing him. I should have told him but I knew he would run. He constantly makes jokes about "herpes" and how he would NEVER date a women with any disease such as Herpes. We have been out and he has made comments like "Just shoot me and give me Herpes" as if it he would rather die than get this. He works with this disease on almost a daily basis and still holds the stigma that everyone else has~~~. I thought we were fine bc we had used condoms and I was on a antiviral suggested medication. Well ..............we have had unprotected sex many times in the last month. Before we had sex he asked me if I had anything. I lied and said no, as I had just been tested and on paper and everything was negative [because they do not routinely test for Herpes type 2]. What I did not tell him is mo earlier I tested + to a culture d/t a severe breakout.I feel like a terrible person and I am sure I am one bc I should tell him but he is the most loving, giving person I have ever met. I know without a doubt he WILL leave me if I tell him. He said once having a life long sexually disease is unacceptable.
Questions:
1. Am I in the minority for not wanting to tell? 80% of people who have Herpes type 2 don't even know they have it so although not moral why can't I pretend I am one of them. I know I can get sued; I know this is REALLY bad but I am scared. I love this man and don't want to loose him. I know I will from his past comments he has extreme fear.
2. Before I had herpes I was ALWAYS was irritated in the vagina area after sex and shaving. Now I ALWAYS have irritation and itching~ So how the heck do I know when to avoid sex!!!!! I currently am red and itching with read bumps. No blisters or sores. HELP
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I think you should tell before you have any kind of intercourse since condoms only reduce transmission by 1/3 and daily therapy reduces transmission by 1/2 - none of that indicates complete protection though they are certainly helpful things to do.
As for passing it to previous partners: since 90% of those infected with HSV 2 don't know it, I would say that unless people are actually tested, there is no way to know if they are infected or not. Now, maybe your partners actually have been tested, but if your impression about their lack infection is based on symptoms alone, there is just no way to know that for certain.
You definitely did the right thing, maybe just in the wrong order.
I wonder if not telling before you had sex made you feel more like a leper rather than less because you were keeping a secret from someone important to you, doing something you know would better be handled in a different way, and those things might have made you feel less good about yourself. Feeling like a leper may have more components than just the herpes in your situation, I think.
I get it that you are feeling sorry for yourself right now, you've had a loss and you are hurt. Its OK. Pour yourself another glass of wine and take a while to feel better.
Terri
As for passing it to previous partners: since 90% of those infected with HSV 2 don't know it, I would say that unless people are actually tested, there is no way to know if they are infected or not. Now, maybe your partners actually have been tested, but if your impression about their lack infection is based on symptoms alone, there is just no way to know that for certain.
You definitely did the right thing, maybe just in the wrong order.
I wonder if not telling before you had sex made you feel more like a leper rather than less because you were keeping a secret from someone important to you, doing something you know would better be handled in a different way, and those things might have made you feel less good about yourself. Feeling like a leper may have more components than just the herpes in your situation, I think.
I get it that you are feeling sorry for yourself right now, you've had a loss and you are hurt. Its OK. Pour yourself another glass of wine and take a while to feel better.
Terri
A related discussion, To tell or not to tell - Genital Herpes aka Scarlet H was started.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
As a person with severe symptoms (pain) it must be hard for you to not understand how people could not either recognize symptoms or experience them. But that's the way it is, particularly in people who have HSV 1 first. I have seen literally hundreds of patients who try and try to recognize symptoms that cannot. it is not true that herpes hurts for everyone nor is it true that people always have sores.
Its like comparing everyone who has hypertension to the person who has strokes. Clearly, that isn't true. Or stating that everyone who has diabetes has incredible thirst. It just isn't so. it is a mistake to think that everyone that has a medical condition has the same symptoms, because they just don't.
Terri
Its like comparing everyone who has hypertension to the person who has strokes. Clearly, that isn't true. Or stating that everyone who has diabetes has incredible thirst. It just isn't so. it is a mistake to think that everyone that has a medical condition has the same symptoms, because they just don't.
Terri
Hi Terri,
I am so confused. Please tell me if the symptoms surface within a short time after contracting the disease or can they fester for 20-30 years? I had one partner before my husband and we have been living in 2 states for the last year. After being intimate with him last week, I thought I had 3rd degree burns vaginally which occurred a few days after intercourse. I was totally shocked when my gyno gave me the news. I am so shocked and upset emotionally, but I also want to know if it is possible for a person to carry the disease for over 20-25 years without a trace. Is there a test to pin point how long a person has been infected. I was so upset at my Dr's. office I just couldn't ask any questions. I guess answers won't change things at this point. I'm only hoping and praying that the test results are in my favor, but I can't stop crying about this and don't know where to turn.
I am so confused. Please tell me if the symptoms surface within a short time after contracting the disease or can they fester for 20-30 years? I had one partner before my husband and we have been living in 2 states for the last year. After being intimate with him last week, I thought I had 3rd degree burns vaginally which occurred a few days after intercourse. I was totally shocked when my gyno gave me the news. I am so shocked and upset emotionally, but I also want to know if it is possible for a person to carry the disease for over 20-25 years without a trace. Is there a test to pin point how long a person has been infected. I was so upset at my Dr's. office I just couldn't ask any questions. I guess answers won't change things at this point. I'm only hoping and praying that the test results are in my favor, but I can't stop crying about this and don't know where to turn.
Hey Terri,
I appreciate your professional opinion. Having lived with this virus though however and knowing many people who have, I don't really understand how people could NOT know. When you get it, it hurts! You can see it, and feel it big time....why is the professional opinion that people do not have to have symptoms? I agree with Yasmin, that it is just people know they have it but don't want to tell, or play dumb when they pass it on?
Plus every individual is different...I dodn't think those statistics are right for ALL people. Would you not agree there is a variance?
I appreciate your professional opinion. Having lived with this virus though however and knowing many people who have, I don't really understand how people could NOT know. When you get it, it hurts! You can see it, and feel it big time....why is the professional opinion that people do not have to have symptoms? I agree with Yasmin, that it is just people know they have it but don't want to tell, or play dumb when they pass it on?
Plus every individual is different...I dodn't think those statistics are right for ALL people. Would you not agree there is a variance?
Hi Terri,
Of course you are right...you should tell before you have unsafe sex, I don't think it is as important when you are safe. The virus shouldn't define you! The issue for me is that we were unsafe twice before I told him, and therefore the trust is broken.
The main reason I did not tell him before we were unsafe is that I am using the supressive therapy every day and in the past have not passed it on to my previous longterm partners. I have had it for 17 years and feel I know my body well enough. However my integrity tells me that it is not my desision alone to make, and he needed to be part of the process.
Plus, he has a medical background, so he knows the drill.
Although he walked away he did just say he needed time to think, he has every right to be angry, and to think about it.
I know I have done the right thing now (albiet eventually), it just sux that it makes me feel like a lepar, when it's just a skin rash with alot of bad stigma. I just wish i was normal, but I guess we all have our cross to bare in some way or another.
Feeling a little sorry for myself today...I guess that's normal.
Of course you are right...you should tell before you have unsafe sex, I don't think it is as important when you are safe. The virus shouldn't define you! The issue for me is that we were unsafe twice before I told him, and therefore the trust is broken.
The main reason I did not tell him before we were unsafe is that I am using the supressive therapy every day and in the past have not passed it on to my previous longterm partners. I have had it for 17 years and feel I know my body well enough. However my integrity tells me that it is not my desision alone to make, and he needed to be part of the process.
Plus, he has a medical background, so he knows the drill.
Although he walked away he did just say he needed time to think, he has every right to be angry, and to think about it.
I know I have done the right thing now (albiet eventually), it just sux that it makes me feel like a lepar, when it's just a skin rash with alot of bad stigma. I just wish i was normal, but I guess we all have our cross to bare in some way or another.
Feeling a little sorry for myself today...I guess that's normal.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I'm so sorry this didn't got well for you. As I recall, you had had sex with him already, is that right? I'm thinking that in your situation, if I am recalling it correctly, that part of his problem may have been that you didn't tell him before you had sex, and that trust is a big problem now. Do you agree?
Terri
Terri
I just told my guy - in the most romantic spot in the city of all places, but it had to e out of the bedroom, and not in a bar!
He got on the next public transport out of there...i sent him a text saying that I was sorry...I have heard nothing. Can I blame him when it was just casual? No. Although the reason I told him wasn't out of obligation...it was because I respect him and thought maye one day in the future we might take things further.
Who knows now...whatever happens, i don't have any demons in my head. Just the ones in my pants that seem to **** up up all my fun...
:(:(:(
He got on the next public transport out of there...i sent him a text saying that I was sorry...I have heard nothing. Can I blame him when it was just casual? No. Although the reason I told him wasn't out of obligation...it was because I respect him and thought maye one day in the future we might take things further.
Who knows now...whatever happens, i don't have any demons in my head. Just the ones in my pants that seem to **** up up all my fun...
:(:(:(
I am recently in your predicament, with a boyfriend who actually told me of a girl he liked some 20 years back who after informing him she had HSV2 he then ended the relationship.
In my case I had tested negative some 8 yrs back. I then had another complete STD screening 4 yrs ago and it was all negative. Back in the summer of 09 my ob began to worsen which prompted me to call the Planned Parenthood centers where i was tested each time and I honestly remember them telling me I was tested for herpes 4 yrs ago along with all the other tests and it was negative a second time. I was riddled with fear and maybe out of not wanting to REALLY know the truth I assumed the tests were a blood test.
For over 15 yrs only a couple of times a year I had to deal with this one perfectly contained blister: virtually not visible to my eye as it was hidden inside my buttock .I convinced myself I could'nt possibly have genital herpes since i had never had any sort of ob near my genital. Then as the ob migrated to a different spot it became visible and seemed to increase in size and the length of time to heal. That was over the summer when I rechecked with Planned Parenthood. That is also when I became obbsesive about getting on the internet researching everything about HSV2 and it states over and over you can have it exclusively on your buttocks.
I managed to get through that ob with the help of my friend who gave me Valtrex and it cleared it up quickly. This part of the story also explains part of the reason why I am one of those who turns away and refuses to see the reality of it. My friend who gave me the Valtrex has the exact same ob in the same location, except hers never migrated away. She actually has ob much more often than I do and she and I converse about it and have compared our sores and since her doctor diagnosed her as having post hermetic nuerapathy, I accepted that diagnosis for myself. Anything to NOT have herpes right? My friend has also never passed it to her husband of 20 yrs. At the time I was married as well and in a mostly sexless marriage with a philandering husband. He also never had any blisters that I know of.
So back in the summer when my ob changed locations and I read up on herpes I also read up on the post hermetic, which in another word is shingles or herpes zoster. And what I saw and the information I rread did not sound at all like what I had.
But my boyfriend and I were going through a rough patch at that time, I was so sad and lonely and frightened about our problems and if we were going to break up I did'nt dare bring this to the table.
No more obs came until 3 weeks ago. Out of sight out of mind?
This time when i called back to Planned Parenthood trying to relieve my fears, they informed me 4 yrs ago there was NO herpes test done. So the only negative I have to go on is the negative with a swab test some 8 years back and here I am in the middle of an ob that has increased in size and is taking what seems FOREVER to heal up.
I am making excuses to not sleep with my guy. Finally at the tail end of the ob last week I slept with him, and had to divert his hands away from my butt the whole time. It was a rough patch still, no blister but still bright red with a scab in the middle. I have to let you know here is where it affects the person who does'mt tell. I am normally wild in bed with him and totally uninhibited, but I was having a doozy of a time trying to focus and push down the guilt and fear.
Here I am 10 days later and the ob is still not totally gone, I can see it is on it's way out though.
He tells me on Sat he does'nt feel well. Run down. Of course he is working doubles.I went over to his place Monday night. I took a big gulp and faced this issue. I showed him the place on my bottom. I told him everything I have just explaIned here.The only part I did'nt tell was when we slept together a week prior I was in an ob.
I cried. I told him I knew he would never feel the same about me if I had the test and was positive. He remained calm. He prompted me to get a blood test and he as well. I don't have the money this week, so I can't just yet.
I gave him oral sex afterwards. We kissed. I don't know how much he knows about the shedding thing, he does'nt seem freaked out. He said what if I did give him herpes? There's nothing we can do about the past he said.
So, all of this long *** post just to tell you, I understand your fear. And I am still facing this issue. Don't have answers yet. Don't know if he will feel the same if I do get the blood test and it shows positive. If his is negative, he may choose to end it.
I have had a gut honest communication with this guy and had to do the same concerning this. It felt really good when he held me. I expressed to him I was afraid of rejection. I found myself yesterday wishing he would call and check up on me. I sent him a text saying I missed him and sent one back saying me too. He called me when he got home from work.
The point being, he has'nt turned away.
Good luck to you in your decision.
In my case I had tested negative some 8 yrs back. I then had another complete STD screening 4 yrs ago and it was all negative. Back in the summer of 09 my ob began to worsen which prompted me to call the Planned Parenthood centers where i was tested each time and I honestly remember them telling me I was tested for herpes 4 yrs ago along with all the other tests and it was negative a second time. I was riddled with fear and maybe out of not wanting to REALLY know the truth I assumed the tests were a blood test.
For over 15 yrs only a couple of times a year I had to deal with this one perfectly contained blister: virtually not visible to my eye as it was hidden inside my buttock .I convinced myself I could'nt possibly have genital herpes since i had never had any sort of ob near my genital. Then as the ob migrated to a different spot it became visible and seemed to increase in size and the length of time to heal. That was over the summer when I rechecked with Planned Parenthood. That is also when I became obbsesive about getting on the internet researching everything about HSV2 and it states over and over you can have it exclusively on your buttocks.
I managed to get through that ob with the help of my friend who gave me Valtrex and it cleared it up quickly. This part of the story also explains part of the reason why I am one of those who turns away and refuses to see the reality of it. My friend who gave me the Valtrex has the exact same ob in the same location, except hers never migrated away. She actually has ob much more often than I do and she and I converse about it and have compared our sores and since her doctor diagnosed her as having post hermetic nuerapathy, I accepted that diagnosis for myself. Anything to NOT have herpes right? My friend has also never passed it to her husband of 20 yrs. At the time I was married as well and in a mostly sexless marriage with a philandering husband. He also never had any blisters that I know of.
So back in the summer when my ob changed locations and I read up on herpes I also read up on the post hermetic, which in another word is shingles or herpes zoster. And what I saw and the information I rread did not sound at all like what I had.
But my boyfriend and I were going through a rough patch at that time, I was so sad and lonely and frightened about our problems and if we were going to break up I did'nt dare bring this to the table.
No more obs came until 3 weeks ago. Out of sight out of mind?
This time when i called back to Planned Parenthood trying to relieve my fears, they informed me 4 yrs ago there was NO herpes test done. So the only negative I have to go on is the negative with a swab test some 8 years back and here I am in the middle of an ob that has increased in size and is taking what seems FOREVER to heal up.
I am making excuses to not sleep with my guy. Finally at the tail end of the ob last week I slept with him, and had to divert his hands away from my butt the whole time. It was a rough patch still, no blister but still bright red with a scab in the middle. I have to let you know here is where it affects the person who does'mt tell. I am normally wild in bed with him and totally uninhibited, but I was having a doozy of a time trying to focus and push down the guilt and fear.
Here I am 10 days later and the ob is still not totally gone, I can see it is on it's way out though.
He tells me on Sat he does'nt feel well. Run down. Of course he is working doubles.I went over to his place Monday night. I took a big gulp and faced this issue. I showed him the place on my bottom. I told him everything I have just explaIned here.The only part I did'nt tell was when we slept together a week prior I was in an ob.
I cried. I told him I knew he would never feel the same about me if I had the test and was positive. He remained calm. He prompted me to get a blood test and he as well. I don't have the money this week, so I can't just yet.
I gave him oral sex afterwards. We kissed. I don't know how much he knows about the shedding thing, he does'nt seem freaked out. He said what if I did give him herpes? There's nothing we can do about the past he said.
So, all of this long *** post just to tell you, I understand your fear. And I am still facing this issue. Don't have answers yet. Don't know if he will feel the same if I do get the blood test and it shows positive. If his is negative, he may choose to end it.
I have had a gut honest communication with this guy and had to do the same concerning this. It felt really good when he held me. I expressed to him I was afraid of rejection. I found myself yesterday wishing he would call and check up on me. I sent him a text saying I missed him and sent one back saying me too. He called me when he got home from work.
The point being, he has'nt turned away.
Good luck to you in your decision.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
A biokit is an in office antibody test for HSV 2. A swab test is a test taken from a lesion, looking for active virus. People do do swabbing for viral shedding, but it is expensive. You can contact my office, 503-226-6678, for more information about swabbing that looks for shedding, or speak with your private provider about this option.
Terri
Terri
Hi Terry,
Thank you so much for your quick response. I overreacted and am now brought back to a more sensible reality. Thank you so much for all of your help. I am visiting with my doctor next week to discuss suppresive therapy and about getting my husband in for testing. A few last questions...what is a biokit or swab test? Is this something I can do myself to see if I am shedding or not? Does such a test exist?
Thanks!
Thank you so much for your quick response. I overreacted and am now brought back to a more sensible reality. Thank you so much for all of your help. I am visiting with my doctor next week to discuss suppresive therapy and about getting my husband in for testing. A few last questions...what is a biokit or swab test? Is this something I can do myself to see if I am shedding or not? Does such a test exist?
Thanks!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
NO, all it means is that you are infected, and you don't need confirmation of your test results. Its not different than you ever thought about this. Put it back in the exact perspective that it was before you posted here. The numeric value has no special implication - it just means you are positive, that's all. Nothing has changed at all!!!
Terri
Terri
Does this mean that there is no hope for me? Does that number mean that I am more infectious to others than someone that has a greater than 4.5 for example?
I don't understand these numbers... As far as I know, I have never infected anyone except for my boyfriend many years ago when I did not know I had this. I rarely have outbreaks....so are you saying that no matter what....anytime I have sex the risk is very high for the person with whom I have sex regardless of any symptoms of an outbreak? This is dire news. I thought that I had a healthy perspective on living with herpes all of these years. I have been responsible all of these years and have dealt with it really well without it ruining my life or someone else's. Now I feel really tainted and think that maybe I should divorce and join a nunnery.
I'd appreciate your thoughts so that I may put this all back in the appropriate perspective where it should be.
I don't understand these numbers... As far as I know, I have never infected anyone except for my boyfriend many years ago when I did not know I had this. I rarely have outbreaks....so are you saying that no matter what....anytime I have sex the risk is very high for the person with whom I have sex regardless of any symptoms of an outbreak? This is dire news. I thought that I had a healthy perspective on living with herpes all of these years. I have been responsible all of these years and have dealt with it really well without it ruining my life or someone else's. Now I feel really tainted and think that maybe I should divorce and join a nunnery.
I'd appreciate your thoughts so that I may put this all back in the appropriate perspective where it should be.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
If your HSV 2 tests value is greater than 5, the that most certainly is a positive, you are both infected with HSV 2 and are able to infect others. Her interpretation of being "exposed sometime in the past" is true, but in complete. She makes it sounds as though that exposure may or may not have results in infection. She is incorrect. The exposure that you had in the past resulted in you being infected and you are infectious to others. I think she should revise her terms for accuracy.
Terri
Terri
Hi Terry, When I sent my post with the greater than, less than symbols only a portion of the message was sent. I am negative on hsv 1 with less than .9. hsv 2 is greater than 5.00. I know that I am positive but am wondering what the nurse meant when she said that this test just shows that I was exposed sometime in the past.
Thanks,
Thanks,
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
OK, so now I'm confused. Your one post says your HSV 1 was greater than 5, and your next post says your HSV 2 was greater than 5. Which of the results is greater than 5?
Terri
Terri
The results are not appearing. Maybe it is because of the less than greater than symbol. So I will spell it out. hsv1 is less than .9 and hsv 2 is greater then 5
Hi Terry, This is so strange, I sent it and it erased the vital part again when I sent. Let's try this one more time: HSV 1 5.00
Hi Yasmin,
I totally understand your situation. I am not here to judge you at all. I would like to offer a few words of advice, though.
If a man, especially one you claim to love, one who works in the health field, cannot handle the idea of herpes, I wonder what else he can't handle.
My husband passed away last year from cancer at the young age of 39. Now, believe me, this was something serious. Herpes, while emotionally difficult, will never match the seriousness of a terminal illness. In the context of a relationship, life will deal you many difficult situations, including cancer, death, etc. If this guy, cannot handle herpes, a relatively simple skin irritation, what else can't he handle? I suspect you know the answer to this question.
Do the right thing by yourself and, of course, him.....
My prayers are with you :)
I totally understand your situation. I am not here to judge you at all. I would like to offer a few words of advice, though.
If a man, especially one you claim to love, one who works in the health field, cannot handle the idea of herpes, I wonder what else he can't handle.
My husband passed away last year from cancer at the young age of 39. Now, believe me, this was something serious. Herpes, while emotionally difficult, will never match the seriousness of a terminal illness. In the context of a relationship, life will deal you many difficult situations, including cancer, death, etc. If this guy, cannot handle herpes, a relatively simple skin irritation, what else can't he handle? I suspect you know the answer to this question.
Do the right thing by yourself and, of course, him.....
My prayers are with you :)
Hi Terry,
I just re-read what I had sent to you earlier and notice that I accidentally erased part of the results:
HSV 1 IGG type specific 5.00
Thanks!
I just re-read what I had sent to you earlier and notice that I accidentally erased part of the results:
HSV 1 IGG type specific 5.00
Thanks!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I'm confused - is only your HSV 1 test positive or are they both positive? Could you get a copy of your test results and post it here for me please so I can help you sort it out? Thanks
Terri
Terri
Alice801
You are right - The stigma of this virus is so beyond reality it's not funny. Living with it is fine...after 17 years it may only reappear 1 or 2 times a year and then i'm on the Valtrex all the other times so i believe that stops the shedding as I said I have had a long term partner that didn't get it and we were never safe (except at the beginning before I told him)
It's the do I/don't I tell and the eventual conversation that is the worst part and that is mental not physical!
yasmin
You're right - you have to e in love with someone to be ok with it and that doesn't happen in the 1st month - it takes time so when is right? It's hard. In my case it is only a casual thing, but that is all I want, it's perfect for me and my busy lifestyle at present and it makes me really happy. I'm gonna tel him ASAP but how...I just don't know. I can't sleep thining about it all night!
You are right - The stigma of this virus is so beyond reality it's not funny. Living with it is fine...after 17 years it may only reappear 1 or 2 times a year and then i'm on the Valtrex all the other times so i believe that stops the shedding as I said I have had a long term partner that didn't get it and we were never safe (except at the beginning before I told him)
It's the do I/don't I tell and the eventual conversation that is the worst part and that is mental not physical!
yasmin
You're right - you have to e in love with someone to be ok with it and that doesn't happen in the 1st month - it takes time so when is right? It's hard. In my case it is only a casual thing, but that is all I want, it's perfect for me and my busy lifestyle at present and it makes me really happy. I'm gonna tel him ASAP but how...I just don't know. I can't sleep thining about it all night!
Hi Terri,
My husband has not been tested but he says he is willing to get tested. I recently got retested after all these years just to make sure. My results are:
HSV1 IGG 5.00
My obgyn's nurse told me that basically the HSV2 test result is positive and shows that I have been exposed sometime in the past. What exactly does that mean? When I confronted my husband about his lack of interest in me, I laid out an ultimatum...either we go to therapy or that I will respect his boundary but then he must respect mine and allow me to have sex if the opportunity would arise. He chose the former fortunately so we will see what happens. I'd appreciate your thoughts on my test results and any other advice. Thanks so much ! You are invaluable!
My husband has not been tested but he says he is willing to get tested. I recently got retested after all these years just to make sure. My results are:
HSV1 IGG 5.00
My obgyn's nurse told me that basically the HSV2 test result is positive and shows that I have been exposed sometime in the past. What exactly does that mean? When I confronted my husband about his lack of interest in me, I laid out an ultimatum...either we go to therapy or that I will respect his boundary but then he must respect mine and allow me to have sex if the opportunity would arise. He chose the former fortunately so we will see what happens. I'd appreciate your thoughts on my test results and any other advice. Thanks so much ! You are invaluable!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Alice, has your husband ever been tested? If not, that would be an excellent start. He could be infected already and not know it. Also, Alice, do you know if you have HSV 1 or HSV 2? That would be important to know when it comes to comparing your infection status to his. I hope things get better with your husband, this sounds very difficult indeed.
Terri
Terri
You are reading content posted in the Herpes Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
