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Not able to penetrate

Hi, i am a 28 years old female married for 2 years and 3 months.For the first two years , my husband did not penetrate me because we did not want a baby.He was not comfortable with condoms etc. to we did not use that either.
Now i want a baby and we have been trying to have intercourse but my husband is unable to penetrate me.I don't know what the problem is but he is not able to insert it in me.Even if i guide him about the place he is not able to do it.Is it a possibility that my opening is very small or it can be something else.I am too frustrated as even after two years of my marriage i am still a virgin and moreover i want a baby now.
Please guide me.
Best Answer
Avatar universal
It sounds like both of you need a little instruction  - and no, I'm not kidding.  Find out how your bodies work.  Lubrication needs to be there, because for a guy, it hurts like heck to try and enter when the woman isn't ready and of course, it hurts the woman as well.  From the way it sounds, you've got to learn each other's body and how the parts work.  You both may be tense as well, since you are doing something new, and learning to relax and help the other relax may help.  You could try http://goodsexnetwork.com/about.html - my wife and I had him as a therapist and he was helpful for us.
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Avatar universal
Get yourself some KY lube, and go slow at first.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
Good advice, but you might want to note the date on some of these posts you're commenting on. Some of these are really old, and most likely long since resolved. :)
Avatar universal
1979
I am truly very sorry
I think it’s a first question you need to truly ask yourself is how hard is he really trying to get inside of you is if he really wants to be inside you or is it he’s making a half hearted attempt here are some ways you can find out
1)  does she try to get you all wet ?
2) Does he go down on you before he tries to put his penis in you?
3)  have you tried oils or lubrication to make it easier for him to slide up inside you ?
4)  now this something you really need to think about the size of his penis does he have a really sick penis or is this something they call tensile sin is it like his big around as your finger or as big around as your wrist the size of his penis if it is really large could be part of the problem
5)  have you ever used a dildo on yourself? If so  then that means you have had something inside you so should be easier for him to get inside of you

I say this because if it was me I would go down on you to help make you ready to receive me into you and that would include playing with you putting my finger inside you and Buy going down on you making you *** before I try to insert my penis all the way in you but even if it took hours of playing with you eating you I would make you very nice and loose enough to where I could get all the way inside of you to make love with you And I would try several times in the same evening if that’s what it took because inside of you is where I belong and where we would want me to be and once inside of you we would have to make love with each other several times Over the next week or two to make sure you can receive me anytime we want Me inside of you and then to make love with you every week no matter what would be very important just for the personal connection but that is just me

Ps
If you ever want or need any help or suggestions please so free to contact me as I would be more than glad to help you find a solution if you have not had this problem for you

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It is possible he is not sexually attracted to women.  That doesn't mean he does not love you, or that you're not sexually attractive.  Talk to him about it without judgement.  He is still a man even if he likes sex with men.  This is something you could explore and maybe both of you could benefit from it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
This just sounds very strange to me. A man that is functioning normally, is heterosexual, and has a normal libido wouldn't have gone over 2 years without having sex with his spouse. I am here to say, anything longer than 3-4 days and I am getting on edge... and this is after nearly 20 years of marriage.  I believe he needs to see a doctor or a psychologist -- maybe both -- since something is definitely wrong.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
I always wonder when I see stuff like this if it isn't part of a bigger problem in the relationship.  Sex is very intimate and if someone will not go there, then why won't they be intimate with their partner? Are they angry deep down? Resentful? It could be a relationship issue.  Or libido issues are psychological like you said if it can't be traced to a medical reason like hormone deficits, depression or medication someone is taking.  Glad you still get it on with your partner on a regular basis after 20 years!
Avatar universal
Must Read Article and it is better to
CONSULT gynaecologist ....https://images.dawn.com/news/1180669
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https://images.dawn.com/news/1180669
Avatar universal
You can try different position to find out which lets u get in.. the best position to get penetration is "scissor" and yeah a bit of oil as a lubricant would make it easy for you both
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Is your husband "fully" erect? He cannot penetrate you if he`s "somewhat" erect.. Does he share yr desire to add a baby to your to your lives? If he doesn`t, it`ll translate to his body. Remember, the biggest sexual "organ" we have is our brain. Seek counseling if so. Have u tried giving him oral sex b4 intercourse? If none of these work, there may be a need for Viagra, Cialis etc.Good Luck!
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
I would say either if your a total virgin maybe it’s that he’s afraid how painful it will be for you or he doesn’t want to have a baby.  If you’ve never had sex w anyone in your whole life you haven’t broken you hymin and it hurts to get started but then after a few times it’s more pleasurable.  The other possibility is he’s just faking it.  And doesn’t want to get you pregnant just cause he doesn’t really want a baby.  I’d bring up both ideas w him and see if you can figure out the reason.
Avatar universal
You should go to a sex seminar
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Find a local Ob-Gyn and make an appointment to examine you. You could have a hymen that almost covers your entire vaginal opening making penetration difficult.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sounds like yall need a lot of lubrication on the penis get things going. Just use a lot of lubrication and make sure he is fully erected.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
The opening maybe small but it stretches as soon as something is inserted. Is he able to get an erection? If he is then there should be no issue. Or maybe he fears that he will hurt u if he forces it inside you.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
If such situation lingers on, one has to take medical advice. Both the partners can have some medical issues.
Avatar universal
You may have vaginismus. It is a real condition but not widely discussed. Speak to your GP or gynecologist about it and don't be ashamed. There are many women affected by this issue.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Lie him down on his back, straddle him and insert it yourself, practice with anal sex if need be in this same position, or try laying down both of you, each on your side with his penis between your butt checks, when time comes ie he has erection enough to push forward into you without bending, help him inse t himself into you by placing your hand on the front ensuring it goes inside and not just out the front of your thighs. If worried you are too small, buy a dildo similar size or just a bit smaller than your husband, use it immediately before attempting penetration by him.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
Oh yes, and when doing so be careful of your finger nails, jabbing him by accident with a sharp finger nail will not help him keep hard erection, if he is so nervous he can't stay hard long enough to penetrate, distract him with a pornographic video you pre approved of
Avatar universal
very strange how can you be married for more than two years and not have any sexual intercourse, my advice would be that take your husband to some doctor and  you too may need some medical advice as to have no sex for two years of your marriage is pretty strange.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
He needs to penetrate you with some lubrication on his penis or with a lubricated condom. The vagina needs to be very moist for penetration. If yall don't to take this route. You can always buy you a fake penis and practice penetrating yourself (masturbation) just to loosen up the vagina entrance.
Helpful - 0
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