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Avatar universal

Is my son gay?

Let me start off by saying I would love my son NO MATTER WHAT!!! and would always be accepting of him, as I truely  think he is the most amazing person I know!!!!!  Anyway, he's 11, has ADHD, good kid, shy...   So he came out one night and threw a note at me and ran off.  It's said something along the lines of..."I don't know how to tell you that I am gay".  and then ran in his room and acted like he was asleep.  I was shocked, to say the least.  But I told him through the door, that I love him no matter what, those kinds of things don't determine whether or not I love him.  I did go into the garage and cry my eyes out.  Only because I don't want to see him be hated by closed minded people for no reason.  Also, this came about after he got his iPhone, and had been spending a little too much time online.  I took the iphone, not because of what he told me, but because he had weird people texting him from xbox live, claiming they were kids, yet texting all hours of the night, and even during the day, when a KID would be in school.  I have went in and set parental controls on the xbox and am monitering it ALOT closer.  No more iphone, just too much access I can't control, and No thanks on that!!!!  We also recently moved and he changed schools last year, and used to have a ton of friends, but for some reason, I just think this person he was talking to was trying to make him think certain things.  Am I crazy to think this?  Also, he's a very YOUNG acting 11 year old, compared with other kids his age.  Seeing the suicide rate for gay kids, makes me want to cry, really, and I would NEVER have my son think I thought any less of him for that.  Help!!!
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Avatar universal
We actually took the phone to a friend of my husbands that was a retired police officer!  It sounds extreme, but the texts were not something I'd imagine a kid talking about.  That is the main reason the phone was sold to a friend!  He just didn't get that because someone says something, doesn't make it true (ie, that they are another kid, and sounded most likely like an adult.)   The internet can be an awesome place, if monitered, but HAS to be monitered these days for sure!!!!!!!
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Avatar universal
Thank You :)  I appreciate the advice!  
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242606 tn?1243782648
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Of course you are right about loving him and accepting him - that is the most important thing. You are also prudent to be monitoring the electronic activity - while much of it can be fine, it also has the potential of kids being open to exploitation and, at the very least, to some inappropriate sorts of material.

Now, realtive to your son's sexual orientation. It is entorely possible for a child of eleven to sense their sexual orientation. At the same time, he is young, and some young people don't know what to make of the awakening of the sexuala spect of their lives. it can be very confusing in the most normal of children. It would be useful for you, or an adul;t he trusts, to have a chat with him about his thought that he might be gay, and see how he derived that conclusion and what he thinks about it. Depending on what yuo learn, you might seek some support for him from a pediatric menatl health clinican. Would you do that because he is duisturbed in some way? No. You would do it as a support in this time of his development.
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Avatar universal
It sounds like he may have been talkin to someone who was talkin to him bout things they shouldnt have. Seems like an adult was sayin things. I would investigate more on those "kids" he was talkin to
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