Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Is it possible to be a narcissist and have OCD that isn't OCD???

Hello:

I've suffered from violent Harm OCD my whole life, along with all kinds of other compulsions and obsessions. I've also had a long history of substance abuse and many of the traits of narcissism seem to fit me. Mainly, I mean tha beneath everything I have the sense of a real emptiness and I've often had anger problems in relationships, verbally blowing a fuse sometimes. The weird thing is that this works both ways -- that is, the anger is usually from being worn down by the OCD, which used to take the form of jealousy and obsessions about my partners' past in 3D splendor just to torment me. I'm also a writer, and I've always had my dreams of making it big. And yet, an editor once wrote a book blurb comparing my work to Hemingway and I immediately thought it was ridiculous -- I didn't even want the blurb. It's sort of like I need my narcissist supply but I don't require much! Just enough to make me feel okay and that I'm at least talented and hard working. But now my life has fallen apart at 49 after I had to quit benzodiazepines -- it feels like my whole life is a train wreck as I'm living at my parents' house until this all works out. Now I feel like maybe the Harm obsessions are really the narcissistic mask falling away, partially, that it's a way of m mind telling me, "This is how low you really are." I just can't figure this one out. Now, since quitting the benzos I've convinced myself of brain cancer, paranoia, lung cancer...the list goes on. And I smoke -- so there is some truth in that possibility. I thunk maybe the narcissism fear works the same way -- there's some truth to it, perhaps. I just don't want to feel like I'm a completely immoral sociopath.

Any idea what is going on?
2 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
351246 tn?1379682132
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi!
There are probably too many things working in your life at present. You smoke, have quit benzodiazepines (which itself can cause withdrawal symptoms), have a writer’s mind, probably have obsessive or possessive thoughts and maybe too anxious about your health, personality and relationships. There may be many other psychological factors like fear, apprehensions, low or high confidence in self or self-image etc. Depression, negative thoughts and other negative behaviors may be present. It can also be a stress disorder.

You do have some symptoms of Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), but, it is very important to get a psychological assessment to understand the exact nature of your problem. It is really difficult to correctly diagnose the problem without a few therapeutic sessions. Please consult a psychiatrist/therapist at the earliest. Hope you feel better soon! Good Luck and take care!
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
Is it possible that I have these traits but not a full-blown personality disorder? I can accept I have some traits I may wish I didn't and need  to work on them, but I the worst aspects of narcissism just seem to point to a much worse person than I believe myself to be.
Helpful - 0

You are reading content posted in the Depression/Mental Health Forum

Popular Resources
15 signs that it’s more than just the blues
Can depression and anxiety cause heart disease? Get the facts in this Missouri Medicine report.
Simple, drug-free tips to banish the blues.
A guide to 10 common phobias.
Are there grounds to recommend coffee consumption? Recent studies perk interest.
For many, mental health care is prohibitively expensive. Dr. Rebecca Resnik provides a guide on how to find free or reduced-fee treatment in your area